Yet another relationship question

[julie]

After not visiting much for a long while, I've been lurking, and have very much enjoyed everyone's comments. There's a lot of insight and goodwill here. I've felt blessed by sitting in.

I'll pitch in and help too, but right now I have a question I'm hoping for some help with. After a very frustrating morning with my boyfriend, I asked the Yi for a picture of our relationship right now, and it said 63.1,3 to 8. Initially, I took that as saying, it's going down the tubes. The best times are over, it's all going to fall apart, you've got big things ahead of you and you better not have this small person weighing you down. I took 8 as a description of the context: we've been striving for a greater sense of union in the relationship.

Then I thought about it some more, and I got suspicious of my interpretation, because it was awfully close to my own feelings at that particular moment. Also, it says, "At the beginning, auspicious." At the moment, things don't feel very auspicious at all, given that I'm so damn frustrated! So I wondered if it was something else that was "already across."

I also asked it how I should proceed in the relationship now, and it said 45.6 to 12. That seemed like a pretty clear indication that I should keep investing, which also seemed odd if it was previously saying, "This relationship is headed for the pits."

So, any insights for me? I need some less-involved perspectives.

Thanks so much,

Julie

[stuart]

I think the hexigrams are saying that there is a relationship between two elements(people)which sometimes can become disorderly.Perhaps the lines point to the facts of what it means to be in a relationship.All aliances have there ups and downs. line -1-Sometimes if you hold back you can avoid the disorder.line -3-the difficulties of the relationship; or any relationship for that matter.Hexigram 45 line 6.well the hexigram is gathering people together who are sad and lamenting.One of you i suspect will always give way and restore what you are both missing(each other).

[seeker]

Welcome back. I agree with Stuart and would like to add that I think it is telling you that relationships take work. If you take things for granted or become complacent when they are going well, problems may creep up. It may also be a warning not to allow your frustration and anger to create even bigger problems. Work through your problems with him calmly and be open to what he has to say. Hope that helped.

[julie]

Thanks so much for your remarks. It seeems like the big difference is that the two of you are seeing the disorder as a temporary, passing thing, and I was seeing it initially as a major crash. That offers a more hopeful perspective! And Seeker, your sense of it as avoiding complacency is also helpful.

Thanks again.