Bitter Fruit (Ripe Fruit, update)

[frank]

Hi all,

I have written a long and much detailed message about the thing between me and my collegue, and got great responses to that. Also to another post of mine about the same collegue and what would happen to us in September and the using for that question of a Game of Changes carddeck.,,, Here's an update and some other questions I've asked the Yi in the meanwhile,

After I had received the answers about Hexagram 23.6 and the Ripe Fruit that would sit inside me, and was seen by me as something stuborn in my own thoughts, I can tell that I'm still busy in trying to make that fruit 'eatable'...

In my mind I have sometimes very negative thoughts about the way my collegue and I are dealing with each other, as I know that she told me some times that she does not feel the same for me as I feel for her. That makes me sad. Even that sad that it can ruin my day. That's where the message of 23.6 comes in, I guess, when the Yi is telling me that I should not worry about that so much, as the fruit is no longer welcome in my brain, and the time is there to let the negativity fall, and just take the things as they come... (59, which I received after the 23.6).

After mailing her some times in my holidays (for all days :-D) I told you I was afraid of the fact that she would be mad at me for not letting her alone for a while as I promised to keep some distance. I figured out now that she sees something else in 'distance' then I do (for me it is realy distance, for her it's distance in commitment, which feels more awfull then the physical distance...). I had already took some distance the months before, as after a week she already came back... Which made me wander... so I thought by mailing her in these days I was already not letting myself heared in a week, the distance was just fine... and it was, because she reacted. She did not react in the deep as she did months ago (distance of commitment), but at least she responded... But still I was afraid what would happen as soon I came back on the job....

I came back on the job two weeks ago, and immidiatly (!) she mailed me! I was trying real hard to just focus myself on the job and not on her, also when she actually said something to me, I did NOT respond... On one hand I wanted to check if I was that strong and on another hand I was wandering what she would take as initiative when I keep my mouth shut... She reacted immidiatly as if there was something going on or something... (Yes :-D!)... and because of the responses she gave me the last weeks I knew immidiatly that she was not mad at me at all! So, there goes the ripe fruit then I thought...

Acording to the carddeck of the Game of Changes you have 9 cards, laid down in the pattern of the Lo Shu...:

4 9 2
3 5 7
8 1 6

For more info on this see the site of LiSe and my post about the Game of Changes. I'm experimenting right now in putting dates on the entrances of the cards, like the card in the middle should stand for the whole month, and the card in the positiion of nr. 3 (position of Thunder, how it beguine) whould be the first days, etc... In this experience almost every card had a prediction for what happened on those days. Amazing! In the days I wanted to keep some distance towards her on the job, I was in Hexagram 20.... The first day back I was in 21... These days (till thursday) I'm in H-31 I was trying to get some input from the first time I was sending the "Game" post... The story and the cards before this card gave me an insite of distance, but 31 gave me some hope to let her come... I was wandering what I should do about that... as the card (in this case) represents the question of "What can I Create in a matter towards the question, as the card was on the position of the Creative, heaven...(nr. 6 on the gameboard...uphere)"? Just when I was in my 21 and 20.,, and saw 31 aproaching, still wandering how I could create "Influence" I came across a TV program about someone we both admire, (the writer Paolo Coelho, as she is still reading the books of him I borroughed her), and He will come to the Netherlands on November the 28th. This morning I received a mail from the organisation that I have tickets, and X will come with me! That's Influence you can create :-D!

She will go with someone else though, as she is back with her boyfriend (there's the bitter fruit of the tittle I named this post :-D), but does not know if he will join us... On one hand I'm glad as she comes with me, on the other hand I know it might not be very apropraite to hope to much as she's back with BF... But it's a great victory for me keeping her as a 'friend', I guess... The next card in this months session will be H-10... Damn, I hope I will not bite the damned tiger :-D! The last one of the month, and responding then to a succesfull experiment as NOWHERE they work with these cards like that..., will be H-35... I wander which 3 comes in audience.. (I ordered 4 cards for Coelho, including me...she, her boyfriend and her mother as she is Coelho fan too... I wander :-D).

Meanwhile I asked the Yi a lot... Here are the questions. I was planning to give some comments first but as this post is alreay miles long I just give you the answers and post my responses after yours :-D... I'm very much influenced by the way people ask the Yi on this site and took over these questions...

1. How will 'our relationship' (bond) develope in the next months of 2004...?
24 (static)

2. What will be the nature of the future bond?
51, 5 > 17

3. How can I responce at best towards her in speech and mail when I make contact?
55, 4 > 36

4. How can I at best responce / be helpfull in developing a positive surrounding for the bond (positive surrounding > restart drinkingdates, communication and support)?
64, 3 & 4 > 18

5. How does X FEEL about me?
39, 3 & 4 > 45

6. How does X SEE me?
14, 1 > 50

7. What I'm I to X?
52 (static)

8. What's X to me?
7 (static)

9. How can I create contact between us in a time when I could go to another job (as she was a reason to stay)?
36, 1-2-5 & 6 > 57

10. What can I do best to let our bond grow towards a solid, strong, commited and long lasting bond?
39, 2-4 & 6 > 44

11. How does she sees the bond?
40, 1 & 4 > 19

12. If she would already have expectations about our bond, which whould that be then?
12, 6 > 45

13. What's the potential in this bond in the (long) run?
40, 2 > 16

I hope this doesn't dazzle you to much :-D...
I love to hear from you.

Hug,
Frank

[yellowknife]

Hi,

I've not enough expertise to detect a pattern here Frank,
Just to wish you all the best in eating your ripe fruit. I've received that line too a couple of times lately.

It just does seem with the hexagrams you're drawing that this relationship can have positive, transformative effects for you, whether it comes to fruition as a partnership or not.

I'll leave more detailed interpretation to others. Best wishes.

[val]

Here is a post about my experience with 23.6. http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/48/911.html?#POST15933. The entire thread on 23.6 is very good... Gene, who started it, is a very gifted deviner. To those who can accept the truth without sugar coating, the answer to me was, The End... time to let him go... enjoy the memories and the lessons... the fruit that holds the seeds for the unknown future.

Love,

Val

PS I loved him very much. We spent almost 23 years together, and I STILL miss him very much six months after his passing. I can't write this post without tears.

[val]

As a post script, another fruit of his passing was that it released me to leave a dangerous place... literally... to return home to Los Angeles, a good job, a nice home and safety.

He was so old and feeble and diseased... smelly and forgetful... that he wasn't welcome in my family's home where I had to stay temporarily when I arrived back here. And he was too weak to travel anyway. The trip surely would have killed him.

My life is 1000% better since I've returned. My letting go and his passing made it possible. That is the fruit that can be enjoyed as well when one strips away a diseased relationship... a life that's 1000% better.

Love,

Val

[frank]

Hi Wolverine and Val (and all),

Thank you both for the answers acording to 23.6.
I wish you all the best, Val with the the passing of a dear soul near you, and he is watching :-D. I hope that something in this relationship is going 1000% better as it is now, but I'm a bit negative about it, as I watch the whole bunch of questions I already asked after the 23.6....

The next four days, acording to the Game of Changes I'm in H-10, so I have to step very slowly and a bit scary...

I was trying to explain the I Ching to some collegues today and one of them became mad at me as I was anoyed by her attitude to laugh in such a way that she did not take things seriously. I should have done it othewise then the much to serious approach I did today, I know, and I should have told her that I was a bit annoyed... Instead she was insolted,,, Pfff, I'm still so damn uncertain about this even after an I Ching experience of 12 years... I asked the Yi what to do with this collegue and received H-8 (static). I should join her then? Wow... Perhaps just join for who she is and not go for the explaination of the Yi in the every day job :-D...

Besides that, I'm hoping I did not dazzle you at all with the 13 questions, but I would realy apreachiate, besides the posts of Wolferine and Val, to hear something. Otherwise I could always look for answers myself, but you could give me some insights or new entrances I do not see, because I'm heavely emotional involved...:-D.

Thank you again Wolferine for your honest respons and I realy hope there whould be a positive transformation within myself first, and perhaps in the relationship as well.... I had a growth in self-esteem the minute this collegue was aproaching me for just the way I'm, and now the self-esteem is going down again, because I have difficulties in cooping with the idea that she is now distracting herself for the same reason... I'm only me...

And again all the best with the 1000 % better life these days, Val..

Thank you all in advance for response...

Hug,
Frank

[frank]

Hi all,

I guess this post is to complicated to you all or not a bit interesting or you are realy dazzled... whatever... Thanks for trying, and I'm going to solve and watch these answers by myself now then. Thank you :-D.

Hug,
Frank

[yellowknife]

Good luck Frank.
I'm thinking 13 responses to interpret at once may indeed have been a bit dazzling.

Perhaps try focus on a couple at a time to ask about and see if you get more concentrated responses?

blessings
wolverine