41.1 thought

[bruce]

Watching/listening to people here and there, it occurred to me that there are two kinds of chemistry between people, and one trait that distinguishes whether they are good for you or bad. One supports your weakness. These are the ones who are too eager to help, because helping empowers them, but to the expense of the one being helped. I think this is what hex. 41.1 is about. They decrease you by wanting to help too much. Maybe like welfare. The other type of person wants you to find your feet, not to lean too heavily upon them. This doesn't often come off as being a kind person, and sometimes they can seem unsympathetic. But maybe that's because they trust your own ability to find your own strength and truth. If I could only have but one friend, he or she would be the latter.

"Going quickly when one's tasks are finished
Is without blame.
One must reflect on how much one may decrease others."

[matt]

Isn't 41 about versatility of spirit? Staying empty so we can become full..

[auriel]

the giving creates attachments: how much of these to maintain?

[micheline]

41 is about making room, perhaps giving space......to me this might imply the kind of person (friend, et al) who simply allows for you to be yourself.......without judgement, of any kind....even about wanting you to find your own feet.
To them, your current state of apparent neediness OR independence doesn't matter, they just witness you with love and an open-hearted view.

that's the 41.5 type of person. It is very fortunate to find them; one is blessed by such a friendship. NOthing you can do -or not do- will diminish you in their eyes.

[bruce]

I agree with you, Micheline. What you've described does sound like a 41.5 kinda friend. A friend for and in all seasons.

[lightofdarkness]

IC+

41 Line 1
"When one's affairs are finished one leaves quickly. No harm in this. One reconsiders this through discussion." [The behaviour acts as a defense (facade) but is also an obstacle to progress]

[heylise]

I like Bruce' view a lot, never thought of 41.1 in this way. But it does connect very well with its fanyao 4.1. There the youth is educated through discipline, so he can take himself in hand. Also given the freedom to develop his own experiences, his own view on things. It is the same theme, not imposing anything, all is aimed towards developing his own strength.

Going to change some about my own interpretation of this line...

LiSe

[bruce]

Hadn't considered fanyao 4.1, LiSe, but it definitely does reflect the same dynamic as I tried to express.

Thanks!

[timinok]

I've often thought of the first two lines of 41 as representing the philosophical bases of liberalism and conservatism... The first strives to help others (though has the kinds of drawbacks Bruce mentioned), while the approach of the second is to support one helping oneself.

Not that I regard either as somehow better than the other; but think they can be seen as lowest-common-denominator attitudes to the inevitable (?) scarcity of resources (with the next four lines representing more synthesized or philosophically integrated points of view).

[bruce]

Hadn't considered that either, Timinok, but I see what you're saying. Thanks.

[val]

Wow Bruce...

This is one of those threads I never opened, but here goes the universe again... working perfectly... the timing couldn't be better (thank you Timinok for posting when you did). I just posted about this very thing... in the "44=the woman who stands in the way" thread, and your first post in this thread reflects my feelings and thoughts exactly. 41.1, btw, has been my mantra whenever I get into situation where everyone is being an or enabler... and/or expects me to be one.

Great post Bruce!

Love,

Val