dharma
November 20th, 2001, 06:22 PM
Though I speak to no one in particular, I speak in fact to anyone who is interested. I hope in this way I can speak more freely and impart, perhaps, useful insight that some will gain immediate benefit from, and others perhaps later. I've tried to keep a flow going through this and you'll forgive me if it seems to go from one thought to another.
*********
We often need reminding that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience, and not the other way around (and are therefore not always limited by the constraints and appearances of this world). As spiritual beings manifesting in this (chemical) dimension we have the power to BE in this world in the Grandest way that we can imagine, yet.........we settle for being small.
This reminds me of Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are we NOT to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."
* * * * * * *
We timidly tip-toe through life and around the people in it, waiting for changes to happen TO us rather than initiate the changes for ourselves. And often we forget that when we can't be truthful with ourselves we can't bear to hear it from anyone else.
If every person we encounter out there is a mirror INTO ourselves--an opportunity to discover who we ARE or who we are NOT--but we fear speaking our minds, lest we say the 'wrong' thing, we cheat everyone and not least of all, ourselves. If we fear approaching someone, lest they reject us, how will we ever know where it might have taken us? We can't--we can only venture a 'guess'. Hence, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Every moment of our existence is an opportunity to become more of ourselves--to acquaint ourselves with deeper aspects of our being and ALL relationships consistently offer us this opportunity--for this inner discovery to take place. However, we often refuse to see the possibilities available and forfeit the rewards by not taking chances and not speaking up. And when we do, we waste our precious energy REGRETTING having done so or second-guessing ourselves because the outcome was not what we had hoped for.
Deep down inside, where it really counts, we often don't believe that we are really worthy of the situation or person we encounter and so we proceed with big smiles and are ever so careful about keeping our not-so-pleasant attributes hidden, until we are certain of being accepted. However, we are very mistaken if we believe that there will come a time when it will be 'safe' to air our dirty linens without repercussions. One cannot remain hidden indefinitely and so the repercussions WILL come, the only real question here is, WHEN?
The ideal way to enter into a lasting, satisfying, long-term relationship is by experiencing short-term relationships of ALL kinds. Small stepping stones that allow us to untie the childhood knots within us, to heal the sensitive and wounded parts of our person so that we can manifest our twin-soul polarity in actuality. Solid relationships have a way of developing when WE are busy being our [authentic] selves. And it's hard being authentic when we're busy hiding our feelings, our talents and our point of view.
We need to remember that we benefit from EVERY relationship encounter that triggers an emotion in us, whether it lasts 5 minutes or 5 decades. However, because we are in the habit of avoidance and warding off those who we judge as unworthy--frequently they are those who we interpret as uncomfortable or, more likely, those who cause us to FEEL--we must be more willing to allow for these types of experiences and initiate the changes consciously. We need to remember that we must be able to bear hearing other people's truths if we are to have the chance to determine whether there is something in it for us and thereby benefit from it.
We must DECIDE to express our natural tendencies rather than surpress them and we must decide with full AWARENESS to change our behavior or we risk remaining trapped in a rut of old fears that could become, not only unending, but always of our own making.
At a higher level of our being where we have a clearer overview of our lives and our purpose, we choose the conditions (good or bad) that we find ourselves in. In this way, we can DISCOVER ourselves. If we are not inwardly progressing and grasping the message the conditions are presenting to us then the conditions will remain or repeat for as long as necessary. When we 'see' and 'understand' differently the outer conditions will change.
Whatever changes we seek in our lives must come from within first if we are to experience them without. It is useless to know what another person feels for you UNLESS you recognize that those feelings emanate from within yourself first and the loved one is merely the mirror into which you look at yourself. It is useless to wonder what another person thinks of you UNLESS you recognize those thoughts (good or bad) as your own. We are naturally drawn to those who have something important for us to learn about OURSELVES.
If we find that the object of our affection and desire is not loving us, wanting us or missing us in the same way, and thus causing us to feel pain as a result, we need to ask WHY are we drawn to experience this [relationship] in the first place? Our loved one's treatment of us is effectively showing us who THEY are primarily--NOT what we deserve but what we need to KNOW about ourselves. Our reaction to this treatment speaks loudly to how we are either supporting or undermining ourselves. Do you accept it, justify it, ignore it, talk about it, make sense of it, etc. ?
When we witness or sense our relationship minimizes or undermines us, 'what part of ourselves is failing to nurture and care for US in the way that we really need to be happy??' This is ultimately where our gift of growth lies and, therefore, is the REAL question that begs to be asked.
Again, this was not directed at anyone in particular. I am merely reflecting upon the different questions and issues that are discussed here and at other forums by many different people. I hope this comes at a good time for those of us who forget sometimes what it's really all about.
with love,
Dharma
*********
We often need reminding that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience, and not the other way around (and are therefore not always limited by the constraints and appearances of this world). As spiritual beings manifesting in this (chemical) dimension we have the power to BE in this world in the Grandest way that we can imagine, yet.........we settle for being small.
This reminds me of Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are we NOT to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."
* * * * * * *
We timidly tip-toe through life and around the people in it, waiting for changes to happen TO us rather than initiate the changes for ourselves. And often we forget that when we can't be truthful with ourselves we can't bear to hear it from anyone else.
If every person we encounter out there is a mirror INTO ourselves--an opportunity to discover who we ARE or who we are NOT--but we fear speaking our minds, lest we say the 'wrong' thing, we cheat everyone and not least of all, ourselves. If we fear approaching someone, lest they reject us, how will we ever know where it might have taken us? We can't--we can only venture a 'guess'. Hence, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Every moment of our existence is an opportunity to become more of ourselves--to acquaint ourselves with deeper aspects of our being and ALL relationships consistently offer us this opportunity--for this inner discovery to take place. However, we often refuse to see the possibilities available and forfeit the rewards by not taking chances and not speaking up. And when we do, we waste our precious energy REGRETTING having done so or second-guessing ourselves because the outcome was not what we had hoped for.
Deep down inside, where it really counts, we often don't believe that we are really worthy of the situation or person we encounter and so we proceed with big smiles and are ever so careful about keeping our not-so-pleasant attributes hidden, until we are certain of being accepted. However, we are very mistaken if we believe that there will come a time when it will be 'safe' to air our dirty linens without repercussions. One cannot remain hidden indefinitely and so the repercussions WILL come, the only real question here is, WHEN?
The ideal way to enter into a lasting, satisfying, long-term relationship is by experiencing short-term relationships of ALL kinds. Small stepping stones that allow us to untie the childhood knots within us, to heal the sensitive and wounded parts of our person so that we can manifest our twin-soul polarity in actuality. Solid relationships have a way of developing when WE are busy being our [authentic] selves. And it's hard being authentic when we're busy hiding our feelings, our talents and our point of view.
We need to remember that we benefit from EVERY relationship encounter that triggers an emotion in us, whether it lasts 5 minutes or 5 decades. However, because we are in the habit of avoidance and warding off those who we judge as unworthy--frequently they are those who we interpret as uncomfortable or, more likely, those who cause us to FEEL--we must be more willing to allow for these types of experiences and initiate the changes consciously. We need to remember that we must be able to bear hearing other people's truths if we are to have the chance to determine whether there is something in it for us and thereby benefit from it.
We must DECIDE to express our natural tendencies rather than surpress them and we must decide with full AWARENESS to change our behavior or we risk remaining trapped in a rut of old fears that could become, not only unending, but always of our own making.
At a higher level of our being where we have a clearer overview of our lives and our purpose, we choose the conditions (good or bad) that we find ourselves in. In this way, we can DISCOVER ourselves. If we are not inwardly progressing and grasping the message the conditions are presenting to us then the conditions will remain or repeat for as long as necessary. When we 'see' and 'understand' differently the outer conditions will change.
Whatever changes we seek in our lives must come from within first if we are to experience them without. It is useless to know what another person feels for you UNLESS you recognize that those feelings emanate from within yourself first and the loved one is merely the mirror into which you look at yourself. It is useless to wonder what another person thinks of you UNLESS you recognize those thoughts (good or bad) as your own. We are naturally drawn to those who have something important for us to learn about OURSELVES.
If we find that the object of our affection and desire is not loving us, wanting us or missing us in the same way, and thus causing us to feel pain as a result, we need to ask WHY are we drawn to experience this [relationship] in the first place? Our loved one's treatment of us is effectively showing us who THEY are primarily--NOT what we deserve but what we need to KNOW about ourselves. Our reaction to this treatment speaks loudly to how we are either supporting or undermining ourselves. Do you accept it, justify it, ignore it, talk about it, make sense of it, etc. ?
When we witness or sense our relationship minimizes or undermines us, 'what part of ourselves is failing to nurture and care for US in the way that we really need to be happy??' This is ultimately where our gift of growth lies and, therefore, is the REAL question that begs to be asked.
Again, this was not directed at anyone in particular. I am merely reflecting upon the different questions and issues that are discussed here and at other forums by many different people. I hope this comes at a good time for those of us who forget sometimes what it's really all about.
with love,
Dharma