Open Book Test

[rosada]

I Ching questions we never want to hear...

1. Jumbo the elephant found success as a model because when it came to holding a pose he was so good at what?

answer: 52.4

2. What happens to the Denver Bronco's mascot when the moon is nearly full?

answer: 61.4

3. A yellow cow should be wrapped in what?

answer: 49.1

[rosada]

4.What happens if you get tricked into buying fake designer jeans?

Answer: 63.4

5. Why did Shy Sally meet such confidence in her Maiden Form Bra?

Answer: 46.1

6. What advice did John Kennedy Jr.'s mother give that discouraged him from a career in the theatre?

Answer: 1.1

7. Does a melon covered with willow stay?

Answer: 44.5

[bruce_g]

A good laugh for a Saturday morning! Thanks

[listener]

Does 26.6 ever mean that 'all hell's gonna break loose' ?

Does 17.5 ever mean "be careful what you wish for..." ?

Does 50.6 ever mean 'oh boy, your goose is cooked now' ?

just wondering.

[rosada]

Glad you liked 'em, Bruce and a hearty 51.1 to you, Listener!

Not for the faint of heart..

When Heidi finally decided she was fed up with the alps, she took her pet for a little hike. Why?

Answer: 34.5

Is Big Bird a good candidate for sky diving?

Answer: 62.1

Bruce invites Martin to form a band. Discribe their act.

Answer: 61.3

Uh-oh, Little Chela is pleading his case. If he gets one more ticket for running a red light he'll lose his liscence. What does the judge say?

Answer: 30.2

[rosada]

Why does the Botox Doc feel demand for his services will increase?

Answer: 55.5

Is a "jolly fat man" really content?

Answer: 58.4

What happened when Narcissus tried to kiss his reflection?

Answer: 63.6

Is it worth waiting for Bogart to finally pass it over?

Answer: 19.1

[bruce_g]

lol, lines are coming.

You really should consider a career as a yijing stand up comedian! Good material.

[bruce_g]

Martin and I may have an opening act position available for our upcoming summer tour. :)

[martin]

61.3? How shall we call our band then?
The Extremely Moody Blues? :D

[bruce_g]

Or 47.3, the Groaning Stones?

[rosada]

Groan is right...

Whatever, I'm delighted to be invited. I haven't felt this poplar in years. 28.5

----
P.S.
Everytime Mickey Mouse threatens to quit, what happens?

Answer: 9.2

[bruce_g]

Now, that's just Goofy.

What is St. Peter's job?
13.1

[heylise]

Or 8.5 The Beaters?

[heylise]

Answered to a page ago... and it lands here of course. Hm. Have to get used to the new software
LiSe

[rosada]

Good one, LiSe, The Beaters indeed! Hey, and what about the additional advice in 8.5? Could this mean, "The audience has been warned"?

Bruce, your St.Peter joke was just so gentle and nice...I almost hesitate to post my next one... almost...

Why has Dr. Frankinstein been unable to complete his latest creation?
8.6

How can you tell when you've eaten too many won-tons?
31.3

[rosada]

Proof Tiger Woods was destined for greatness - on the easier fairways at least.
10.2

What does the I Ching think of dieters leaving the table before dessert?
60.5

[rosada]

New coach helps Hare win rematch! Results strongly contested!

Read all about it: 41.5

[rosada]

What no undertaker can do without.
14.2

What keeps naughty children from stealing Santa's toys?
2.4

Scorning help or just wanting to show off that delightful new toe ring?
22.1

[rosada]

Lestat always knew to leave a party early, but he had to learn not to drink too much.
41.1

If you're out of town visiting and someone cuts you off in traffic, is it permissable to honk?
35.9

What happens if it rains on Super Bowl Sunday?
32.4

If you come to a sudden stop and get rear ended by a Sparklettes delivery truck, is it your fault?
63.1

A week before filming the big scene the stunt double quit. What did the director tell Charlton Heston to do?
26.3

Which restaurant gives you a better deal, Sam's Steak House or The Sushi Bar next door?
63.5

The judge told Mr. Dumpty it was his own fault, he had no case and furthermore he was lucky not to be thrown out of court!
13.4

If this doesn't make sence, wait a week.
63.2

Well, I'm going to be away from a computer for awhile now. Thank you for reading these jokes, I sure had fun writing them.
59.3

P.S. Don't try to find me.
58.5