Criticism and hexagram 31

[etiram]

Hi everyone:

I asked the IC the following question:

What is behind this person's criticism towards my work?
And I received hexagram 31 with changing lines 3 and 4. Can you help me interpret the meaning? It seems like a contradictory answer.

Thanks,

ET

[freemanc]

No, it seems very apt.

In 31.3-4, You are a sovereign just coming into power and your alliances are in flux. In short, this is a challenge to you having some new power; this is someone whom you are going to lose as a supporter.

You are tempted to go deal with this in some way; don't do so. When allies wander off, don't attack them; that just diminishes your energy further.

Let this criticism wash over you. Unsettled peoples, peoples not fully committed to the success of your undertaking, will come and go; your allies will stay with you because of your thinking.

Good luck with this undertaking.

FC

[etiram]

Hi FC:

Thanks for taking the time to explain. I think I understand the last two items. But I do not understand what you mean about "coming to power...", etc.

ET

[etiram]

Anyone else another comment?

Please!!! ET

[kevin]

Hi Etiram

Very much in agreement with Freeman...

I would add (though he may have alluded to this), that it seems there is some development taking place for you, which at the moment is taking shape in you.

That obsessing on the criticism is locking this development up.

Following the advice of FC and focussing more on the work in hand will allow you to move forward and things really will come together for you in a very pleasant manner.

--Kevin

Sorry about the strong 'obsessing' there... water it down a little if you like http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/happy.gif

[val]

Hi Etiram...

Hmmmm. I have something different to say about this than what Freeman and Kevin offered.

You said you asked what was behind this person's criticism. The criticism is really all about the criticizer (we are each other's mirrors), not the person being criticized. How was it delivered? Was it constructive? Did you feel like a valuable team player with the potential for growth? Or did you feel otherwise?

When I read these two lines, I feel like you probably felt otherwise. I feel like this person's motivations are not about your personal growth but more about establishing a power hierarchy between you. If I were in your position (and I was feeling otherwise), my next question to the Yi would be (since no damage has been done yet - line 4), "How do I graciously stop this direction in our communication BEFORE any damage is done?"

Love,

Val

[etiram]

Hi Kevin:
I agree with you that worrying about the criticism is detrimental, on a conscious level I acknowledge this. But on another level it bothers me.
The task I am working with person X is important for me, in terms of concluding a long project. And its completion will add more experience to my curriculum, and help me in my future job applications. So maybe this is where you can sense the important development.
I have put a lot of effort into this project not only because I want to finish it but because I started this project from scratch and I loved the work so much. The other person X (X was my supervisor, not anymore, but X is much above me in the academic hierarchy) and X is the principal investigator of this project, and X will benefit too from this in a level different than mine (X can apply for grants based on the groundwork done by myself, to continue on this research without me). In any case, even though I have done 100% of the research work and written 99% of the report, X does not appreciate that, and only finds criticism in every little detail. I just can not understand that, and I think X is very ungrateful. So this is the whole story.

Thanks so much for your help, also for FC's help too.

ET

[etiram]

HI Val:

Thanks for your analysis of the situation. Definitely I feel it is a negative and unnecessary criticism. And you are right about the power hierarchy (please see the message I just sent to Kevin with some background information). After asking the first question to IC (the one we are discussing in this thread), I asked what can I do about X's criticism, and I received hexagram 37 with lines 1 and 5 changing to hexagram 52. I was baffled again, I can not make any sense out of this answer (turn to my family and find peace there?? Am I too far off?, I have a feeling I am). But I will try the question you suggested, and let you know about IC's answer.

Thanks very much for helping.

ET

[bradford_h]

Etriam-
You asked what was behind their criticism.
I'd suggest that this was their stuff, not yours,
maybe a mix of their insecurities (zhi gua 45) and uncertainties (zhi gua 39). Please note that this is not to say that their criticism is wrong, and you should look to see in there is something you can use there. This merely points to what is behind their making it the way they have done.
Transitional hexagrams also take you through 45.4 on the way to 08, just in case this tells you anything.

[bruce]

An eye on the task is better than an eye on the task master. Recognition if sought is not found, but a good work done for the love of it will not go unnoticed.

[etiram]

Hi Bradford:

Thanks for your interpretation. And for indicating that this is not about me but about X. Of course, nobody likes to be criticized, but if the criticism is just, I humbly accept it and correct the problem if possible. This is constructive criticism.
One thing I do not understand about your analysis is that hex. 45 is about people gathering together, how is this related to insecurities?

Thanks so much for your help.

ET

[etiram]

Hi Bruce:

I can not agree with you more, this is my moto, "the eye on the task", and this is all I have been doing while carrying out this project. I am not looking for recognition, not that I would not like to receive it, but it is very discouraging when you have worked so hard to receive undeserved, unnecessary and stupid criticism. As I told Bradford, I accept criticism that is done to move things forward, not to slow down or stall the process. My feeling about the criticism in this case is that it is not done to correct important things, but it is sort of picking on small things, and use this to undermine or invalidate my overall effort. I could be wrong, this is why I asked IC what was behind all these.
Thanks a lot for your help.
ET

[val]

Etiram...

I don't think you are wrong. I think the IC more than confirmed your observations about the project manager as valid.

The good thing about this whole thing is that when you are project manager, you will know from this experience what doesn't work in terms of motivating the team.

Myself... I prefer to hear what part of the work I've done stands as a good building block, what needs to be maximized or added to it and what needs to be minimized or removed from it. I know the first draft or the first time out of the gate is not going to be perfect, and I appreciate any help and any direction my manager can give me to refine it so that it helps to achieve the ultimate goal.

Love,

Val

[etiram]

Dear Val:

Thanks for your assurance. And definitely, If I am ever a project manager, I hope I am able to motivate my team.
I understand what you say about working as a team, in my current job I have two supervisors, and we have worked in several projects together in which I have generated the first draft. And this first draft has been torn to pieces by both (and a third one, who is the lead supervisor of all of us). However, I appreciate all the suggestions and changes since they have improved the final work considerably. And all their criticism has been made respectufuly and with a clear logic to it. I really enjoy as a matter of fact working with this group of wonderful people, and they really are demanding in the quality of the work.
And as you mention, I have heard from them what is good about the work and what is bad as well.
Thanks very much for your help and encouragement.

ET

[bradford_h]

Hi Etriam-

RE: One thing I do not understand about your analysis is that hex. 45 is about people gathering together, how is this related to insecurities?

45 is actually more about people gathering THEMSELVES together, collecting their wits, shoring themselves up and grouping for the sake of strength in numbers. And the text is full of reassurances towards this end, like wu xu (do not worry).

[etiram]

Dear Bradford:

This is a really cheerful message. Thanks for the explanation of hexagram 45, so what you mean is that a group of people that individually are not strong will gather together to reach a common end? So applying this to the situation, I have gathered together with X to reach a common end that will benefit both, and this end can not be reached by each alone but in a group. And maybe X resents that? Am I way off?
Thanks again,
ET

[bradford_h]

Hi Etriam-
I was just commenting on the meaning of the zhi gua (45) for that line (31.3), trying to answer your narrower question about 45 and insecurity. You only go through there (thru 45.4) if you're using transitional hexagrams. This line has you wary and asking questions of your fortune. Your actual resultant gua is still 08, which means eventually finding your way to where you belong, like water does. Whether X resents that or not, I don't know. But that's still x's problem. Yours is using anything of use that x might provide and letting go of the rest.

[etiram]

Dear Bradford:

OK. I understand now, and I this is even more optimistic than I thought. I really appreciate your reassurance and advice.

Take care,

ET