Limitation

[frank]

Hi all,

I have asked the Yi a question after I know that I have to make some radical changes in a bond with someone. I received hexagram 60 - Limitation... (NO changing lines)

Limitation to me has two ways... either you respect borders from someone, and do not get over them, and at least try to let the other one know that you have borders too... on the other hand there must be some flexibility in stretching those borders...

Is this about recognision of your own borders and the borders of the other one and try to be flexible with them?

In the situation at hand it seems to be that we both have made some great misunderstandings, from where we said stupid things, because we where limited in our own way of looking to things.

Besides that at least I was aroused by her way of dealing and handling things, although it was not my style of living, and I was very judgemental about it, it was atractive too... I'm very doubled here...

I still have to figure out how to take this all (see also my post about timing...) and I know things have to change radicly for the better, and trying to get some flexibility in the way of dealing with live and getting my anger out in a more constructive manner is some of the stuff I realy have to deal with... But do I get that friendship back then? And for what purpose do I want that back then? Why did things happen as they happen, and why do feel used, and be played at, especially about my emotions which makes me very insecure, angry, childiss, demanding, etc...
(and why the hell do I tell you all this... :-D)

Is The Big Change about getting tougher, harder and let everybody, at least those involved in this situation, shoot themselfs to the moon? I have to figure this out... I know I'm much to much busy with it...

Thanks for some suport or anwers on your behalf.

Hug,
Frank

[peace]

Hi Frank:

I see 60 unchanging as an impasse.
The boundaries are set and rigid.
The only way to have some flexibility in the situation is to make sure you are centered, seeing things clearly, have examined all the parts of the situation objectively, untangled all the gnarled threads.

Then, you will be able to see what's what and begin to have less rigid boundaries/limitations as they are in the current situations.

At this point everyone has drawn very firm lines of interacting.

Good luck,
Rosalie

[frederick]

Frank:-
Sometimes I call this Hex "Oppressive Restriction".
If I find myself in disagreement with how another lives their life to the point where I feel I must interfere, then I must restrict myself.
If I find that the restrictions I put on myself to achieve this are oppressive, then I need to change my attitude.
It usually comes down to accepting an occasion for which nothing can be done.
Relax and let it go.
Freddy

[frank]

Hi Rosalie,

Thank you again for your post (just read and answered the other one > Timing) and yes, there is an impasse and I know for at least one part I'm to blame for it and I do feel so much sorry for that, regret and all, but also anger for the things happend and 'being used'. The anger ofcourse is also there because of the fact that I probably have very difficult issues in letting this all go... It even amazes me why I don;t just do that... That's a 'limitation' as well.

There is probably a lot of anger, hurts and other stuff on both sides and I do not like that... It's a logical way of dealing with it to let it go then, so the situation can reform itself and let go of the control, limit myself in dealing with it, and let things happen... Still... Things have happen, and I realy am convinced that my pain is sincire... That does not mean that I have to yell about it all the time on this side, or anywhere, and be buisy with it.

Thank you, Rosalie.

Hug,
Frank

[frank]

Hi Freddy,

Thank you for your post.
I will breath now :-D.

Hug,
Frank

[peace]

Frank:

You wrote...

"There is probably a lot of anger, hurts and other stuff on both sides and I do not like that... It's a logical way of dealing with it to let it go then, so the situation can reform itself and let go of the control, limit myself in dealing with it, and let things happen... "
-------------------
It's ok to be angry and have someone be angry at you. It doesn't always have to be fixed. In time clarity comes. A quick fix of taking away yours or someone else's anger may interfere with the real growth of sitting with it.

There's a difference between pain and suffering that helps you grow - and pain and suffering that is self-pity and keeps you rolling around in the same polluted puddle.

Only you can decide which it is for you.

Hugs,
Rosalie

[frederick]

Frank:-

Yes, breathing is good.
So is eating.
If it wasn't for these two qualities of life, and one another, I would have left this planet long ago.

Freddy

[frank]

Hi Rosalie,

O - My - God! Wow, that are very wise words, I have to admit. I also have to atmit, after reading Freddy's post that it is time to relax and see things from a more 'relaxed' point of view... THAT IS MY LEARNING POINT, THAT IS THE REVELUTION! Relax, and do not be to much busy with all of this, so the anger, which is OK yes, can take it's course inside me, and the emotions can flow down... (*sigh, :-D*)

It's OK to be angry, and yes, it is not OK to stay in that puddle... (blush :-D). I think am still confuced about all the stuff happened, and the first action is to get a closure for that particular period, so that I can be on earth this moment, and let time heal things... That will take time, because of all the legimate reasons I already talked about here. It's OK to feel hurt, but it could be done something better if I would not let myself be swept away by it (limitation)...
Geee :-D.

There's a smile commin up... (finaly some recognision from you guys... :-D)
Thank you very much, Rosalie!

Hug,
Frank

[frank]

Hi Freddy,

Mother of all mercies, you are hilaries... :-D. Breath and eat, I'm doing it at this moment... lasagna... yum yum... breath 1 2... breath...

Thanks Freddo,

Hug,
Frank