Work, work, work...

[amalia]

The right day to consult the oracle, as I am quite upset... Now, This is the situation. I have an essay (about 400 pgg.) which I wrote and re-wrote and re-wrote, in order to take part in a (possibile) competitive examination (which one day or another is to be held...) and was always considered worth something (not because anybody told me to - only because nobody told me to give up) but not worth publishing. At the last editing I was, for the first time, not depressed and discouraged but simply very, very angry, and I still am. All my work seemed unuseful, Ihad no feedbacks about where or when the examination was about to be held - and all revisors seemed to be lost in a fog of "style, topics, arguments" too far from my own "style, topics, arguments" to be even interesting to me... I must admit I stopped working to my essay for a while - also because I had many other things to do. And a week ago I heard from a colleague of mine that the examination was (for complicated administrative reasons I cannot give details about) never to be held.
But today I have been the only audience to a strange and obscure speech (the Three Weird Sisters talked clearer!). "It would be better" my most important revisor told me "if you ended your essay... But it must be as perfect as possible... Someone doesn't like you... You have a competitor, you know. We must have a weapon. We lost some chances, we cannot lose this..."
Leaving apart the fact I did not know I lost some chances ("WHICH CHANCHES???" I was about to shout...), I only nodded: "Yes. I understand" - meaning "I do not understand, but anyhow, if we have to play this game..." Then, under a terrible headache, I came here and I asked the Oracle: "What is about to happen if I make another version of my essay. The answer was hex 36 (changing lines 2-3) changing to 19. It seems to say I have a chance, in the darkness... maybe for a small space of time? Please give me your opinion... Is it worth to fight against my pride, my rage, my being tired and get back to work and give them what they want?

[trojan]

You are vassilissa with a new name yes ? Re your reading Line 2 says this has been a blow to you but you can salvage it, line 3 you can salvage things but don't expect it to all work out all at once. Is it worth it though ? Well 36 does mean you have to play the part expected of you hiding your true qualities, and yes this means stifling your outrage. I can't answer whether this is worth it as it does look like it means you suffer to an extent and have to hide your feelings. Maybe you should also ask what if you refuse, or maybe wait till the anger clears a little to make a decision

[philippa]

I have an essay (about 400 pgg.) which I wrote and re-wrote and re-wrote, in order to take part in a (possibile) competitive examination (which one day or another is to be held...) and was always considered worth something (not because anybody told me to - only because nobody told me to give up) but not worth publishing. At the last editing I was, for the first time, not depressed and discouraged but simply very, very angry, and I still am. All my work seemed unuseful, Ihad no feedbacks about where or when the examination was about to be held - and all revisors seemed to be lost in a fog of "style, topics, arguments" too far from my own "style, topics, arguments" to be even interesting to me...
[details snipped]
I asked the Oracle: "What is about to happen if I make another version of my essay. The answer was hex 36 (changing lines 2-3) changing to 19.

Hello Amalia,

I am very sorry to hear what is happening to you. I have very similar experience working with my thesis advisor on my dissertation. Based the answer (36), I'm wondering if you are too angry (fire burning underground) to make a "better" version. Whether the anger goes away or not, the two lines seem to suggest two possible directions. Based on line 2, I wonder if you can get some help (one of the revisors?). Do you think you can articulate your issues pertaining to style and content clearly to another person? What matters to you? What doesn't? What are you trying to say?

Speaking more personally, it is not easy to mould oneself into someone else. We all have our own voice. We speak the clearest when you (mentally) are truly aligned with your message. Perhaps if you speak up (vs. "playing the game"), your colleagues (or whoever) can bring the content out of the obscuration indicated in 36.

Good luck.

Philippa

[willowfox]

I asked the Oracle: "What is about to happen if I make another version of my essay. The answer was hex 36 (changing lines 2-3) changing to 19.

This says that you have come up against some problems to do with your essay but it says do not give up, be strong and carry on, use your head and remain calm. It will require more work and effort but you can turn the situation around if you are determined to succeed, so stop with the anger and the negativity. Hex 19 says success will be yours if you work for it. So, do your essay again.