38>34 & 26->4

[chaoswarrior]

I met this girl at a party and we had one of the most interesting conversations i have had in some time. I invited her out to dinner a couple of days later, and unfortunately the conversation only stayed on an intellectual level (discussing politics). I was unsure about how i felt abotu her, but a week later i invited her to hang out. she said she would call me the next day but never did. A week later, today, i was reminded of her while playing a video game that takes place in her home country and sent her a text to that effect. She responded in a somehwat negative way, saying that it was sad that thats the only way i know her home country. Dissapointed, i asked the i ching:

Question 1: does she like me?
38.3.6 -> 34

this sounds very bad but it somehow leaves hope for the future. nonetheless, seeking a yes or no answer it seems to respond "no, but..." line 6 says describes a person who meets with the individual described in line 3. What is that about? What would you make of this reading given the context i described?

I then wanted to know why she doesn't like me...
Question 2: Why doesnt she like me?

26.1.3 -> 4

This seems to say i moved too fast? I did invite her back to my place after dinner, which was less than a block away, curious to see where it would lead, but she declined. Incidentally, her good friend, who was the host of the part where we met, is another girl who i liked last year. with this girl i did indeed try to move too fast and screwed up, but we remained friends/acquaintences. I'm not sure what line 3 is saying. How should i interpret this so i learn from my mistakes in the future.

Ultimately, my gut tells me to just move on and forget about her, regardless of what the i ching says.

[chaoswarrior]

New Question:
Should i move on and forget about her?
41.2.4 -> 21

Am i reading this line with a self confirming bias? i read it to say, "yes, decrease your emotional investment in this situation." this leads to biting through. biting through what obstacles...perhaps my attachment to this situation? What should i make of the changing lines?

[willowfox]

Question 1: does she like me?
38.3.6 -> 34

You seem to have made a bad impression on her by your insensitivity, but the damage is repairable with some effort on your part. So all is not actually lost.

Question 2: Why doesnt she like me?

26.1.3 -> 4

You were trying to run before you could walk, far to fast for this girl, and perhaps you were also acting quite immature and silly. You need to learn patience if you want to court this girl, as she seems like the old fashion girls, slow, steady and extremely cautious.

Should i move on and forget about her?
41.2.4 -> 21

First, don't be subservient, second change your attitude and thirdly, try again and see what happens. Hex 21 is about chewing on the problem until you get through to her.

[chaoswarrior]

I appreciate your interpretations but i always find myself at a loss when trying to understand them. How are you interpreting the changing lines? I'm trying to get better at using the i ching, but i find my interpretations are always colored by my personal biases. It would help to see how detached observers actually reason through the lines.

[trojan]

I appreciate your interpretations but i always find myself at a loss when trying to understand them. How are you interpreting the changing lines? I'm trying to get better at using the i ching, but i find my interpretations are always colored by my personal biases. It would help to see how detached observers actually reason through the lines.


But maybe your personal biases are important , mostly i think thats what the Yi talks about when people ask 'other people' questions. I find if we ask questions about other peoples feelings about us quite often the Yi tells us about ourselves, at least its hard to distinguish who it speaks of sometimes I find

Anyway i saw your first answer (38 - 34, does she like me ?) as she misunderstands you - or you misunderstand her reaction to you. Maybe the misunderstanding can be overcome through a certain amount of effort or after time, line 3, and may be one of you will come to see you have the wrong idea about other, line 6 - if there is sufficient interest to pursue this.

Re 'why doesn't she like me ?' well you don't know for sure she doesn't so ?

Re 'should i forget her' 41 to 21 - You could try to straighten things out with her, bite through the obstacles but in doing so don't let go of your dignity. 41.2 advises one to go only so far in pleasing others, if she finds your natural way of being unacceptable theres only so far you can adapt . 41.4 looks like once problems have been addressed, perhaps with your own behaviour, or misunderstanding about how you express yourself, she may be happy to see you. The most obvious course of action to me would be to try to talk things through with her one more time, ask her if you offended her in any way. If she still unresponsive move on. If you liked her isn't it worth talking to her to find out whats happening ?