Receiving Hexagram 32, no change, when asking about first wife - thoughts?

[dorjechodzin]

Hello I Ching Community,

My first wife and I were married very young. We had a very stormy marriage that ended after five years. Approximately 17 years have passed and I discovered in an article in our city's newspaper that she and her husband now have two daughters - one is four years old - the same age as my son.

My current wife and I have often spoken about her and she has told me that I should get in touch with her. I would really like to in some ways. Not because I want to "go back in the past" but because I think it might be a healthy and healing thing for both of us. But I'm not sure. I consulted the I Ching with the question:

What would the impact be on both hers and my own family if I were to contact her.

I received Hexagram 32 with no changing lines. I am slightly shocked that this hexagram focuses so much on the institution of marriage as the enduring union of the sexes.

I read the hexagram carefully and think it is supporting my getting in touch with her. I would like to know what members of this community think. I have been a student of the I Ching since the early 80s and would appreciate hearing from all who feel they have benefitted from the guidance of this work.

Thanks,

Dorje Chodzin:bows:

[dobro]

What would the impact be on both hers and my own family if I were to contact her.

I received Hexagram 32 with no changing lines. I am slightly shocked that this hexagram focuses so much on the institution of marriage as the enduring union of the sexes.

I read the hexagram carefully and think it is supporting my getting in touch with her.

I'd draw exactly the opposite conclusion that you did. Hex 32 is about continuing your present direction. Yes, the imagery for 32 includes marriage, primarily because it's a fine image for an enduring and constant sticking to one direction; insofar as 32 might actually be about a particular marriage (yours) I feel pretty sure it's your present marriage that's being imaged. The Yi is all about the present.

So I'd say the Yi's saying: "Look, stick to your present direction in your present marriage; but if you *do* check out the ex-wife, the impact will be to strengthen your present direction in your present marriage."

I'm familiar with curiosity about old partners, but my feeling is that an old partner is an OLD partner, and not much of a present issue. I bet you can find all the present issues in your life without the help of an old partner. I might be wrong though. Your ex might really shake you up by highlighting something about you or your life you'd never seen or faced before.

[dorjechodzin]

Thank you, Martin!

I appreciate it.

DC :)

[fallada]

The action you consider won’t change the course of your boat. Things will remain as they are.

I can’t see, that the Yi encourages you to deal with the past or to learn from it, like hex 26 or 18 would. There is no warning against meeting with your ex, either.

The only ‘warning’ that 32 – particularly unmoving– provides is: ask yourself if you trully remain in your tao by this action. Is this really you, is this really your life, your way of doing things, what you are doing here?

I see the ‘husband and wife’ part primarily as a metaphoric image for things that appear as an endless variation on an ever lasting theme, but never really change:

…the Dutch in old Amsterdam do it, not to mention the Finns,
Folks in Siam do it, think of Siamiese twins,
Some Argentines without means do it….

It is definitely not a moral statement like ‘it is wrong for husband and wife to get divorced’. Life is larger. Yi is life.

[willowfox]

Hex 32 is about endurance which means carrying on as you are, do not change the way your current life is, do not deviate from your current path, do not fall prey to ifs and maybes, therefore, stay away from your ex wife as it will only muddy the waters, consider it over forever and don't look back.