Validation for my interpretation of 35.2.4 -> 4

[applegirl]

Hi all

I'm new here, first post so I'm hoping for some validation on my interpretation of my reading. The situation is that I was in a relationship for some months, it broke up but we have to continue to work together (fun eh :rolleyes:). I had not seen the person for about 4 weeks but the two of us had to have a meeting together this morning. For some reason I'm having difficulty coming to terms with it being over and I'm not moving on quite as well as I'd hoped. We always got on and continued to get on after our breakup until I decided I couldn't do the friends thing and asked for any non-professional contact to be stopped. (The other person is having some emotional issues and although we broke up I continued to be there for him on a daily basis as I felt he was quite vulnerable. However it was getting to me too much and I felt I couldn't be there as a friend when I felt so much more).

Anyway, I consulted the iChing to ask how I should approach the meeting and got 35.2.4 changing to 4. My interpretation of 35 was to be myself and to conduct myself with dignity because that's the level we always related on. To me it meant not trying to plan how I'd be, not try to put on an act, just to be myself in the moment. I also interpreted this to mean that if I did this, it would bring about some progress for the higher good (whatever that is!).

Then, the relating hexagram, 4, to me meant that the other person may not know how to be in the situation. For me the relating hexagram is like a further insight into the primary one, so that reinforced my decision to just be natural in the meeting and show the other person that I wasn't going to play games or make things awkward.

The meeting went well in so far as we got on as well as ever and it was almost like old times. However, I guess I'm doubting the quality of my question because it's now left me feeling like the connection has been re-established because we got on so well, yet I still feel that I have to accept that the relationship is over :brickwall: .

The reading has just left me wondering if the 'progress' of 35 is something to be hopeful about for the relationship, because prior to the meeting I'd rather hoped that it would be 'progress' for me accepting the situation and getting over the relationship in some way. It seems though that me being myself has re-established some kind of closeness and familiarity.

I don't want to have false hope or anything, but my experience of 'progress' today definitely wasn't on the level of closure and acceptance for me like I'd hoped! If anyone has any further insights on this I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks

Applegirl

[jesed]

Hi

I would suggest you to take more general perspective, than how to act in a particular meeting

You may find useful to ask (in this order)

1.- General Time of the relation between X and I
2.- How is X's position toward the relation?
3.- How is my position toward the relation?

This 3 answers, readed together as a system, may give you a clear picture about where you are, and what can you expect about this situation

Best

[trojan]

The reading has just left me wondering if the 'progress' of 35 is something to be hopeful about for the relationship, because prior to the meeting I'd rather hoped that it would be 'progress' for me accepting the situation and getting over the relationship in some way. It seems though that me being myself has re-established some kind of closeness and familiarity.

I don't want to have false hope or anything, but my experience of 'progress' today definitely wasn't on the level of closure and acceptance for me like I'd hoped! If anyone has any further insights on this I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks

Applegirl

Seems the reading just showed you what happened. You met openly, meeting went well but theres sadness in this (line 2) but sadness doesn't always mean somethings wrong - infact the fact it went well gave rise to sadness for you - still I think your answer says you went the right way about things with him. Many people in this situation act defensively/unpleasantly purely so as not to feel the sadness of being in the prescence of someone they were once intimate with. Seems to me this line might say you acted honestly yet still this has bought you pain, but in some form or another this pain will find comfort 'through the queen mother' - this might even be being most true to yourself may bring pain in the short term, but in the longer term its a wound that brings a blessing. Its very important how a relationship ends and how you begin to seperate in my view. Takes so much longer (if ever) to come to terms with bad partings since it feels like the parting invalidates all the good that was in the relationship.

[willowfox]

I consulted the iChing to ask how I should approach the meeting and got 35.2.4 changing to 4.

Line 35.2 says to stick to your principles but to be open and caring.

Line 35.4 says to be straight and honest with the other people there.

Hex 4 probably indicated that you obviously had a limited knowledge of what to expect and thus needs to pay attention and go with it.

[applegirl]

Thanks so much for all your input ...

@jesed - yes I see your point, maybe I do need to ask deeper questions about the whole dynamic between us because I'm scratching my head about it all. Would you be able to clarify what question 1 about the time means? We know each other about 3 years but really started working together last September.

@trojan - thanks for your perspective. I agree with you entirely, I did not want to get into any of that unpleasantness because quite simply I don't feel that way about him. The relationship didn't end badly and we tried to keep up our closeness but I ultimately had to explain that I had to cut contact because I felt too much for him. I guess I just didn't know how to be with him today and felt the need to ask advice. Maybe the iChing was validating that just because that's harder now, maybe in the long run it's more real. Thank you for that, I didn't really see it that way.

@willowfox - thanks for validating so succinctly what I was trying to explain - I got the sense from the reading that I needed to just be myself and your interpretation let me know that maybe I was on the right track.

I think I'm probably going to have to do more questioning about the more long-term dynamic. I'm fairly new to the iChing so I'm finding my feet with the smaller questions first, rather than go for the biggies, but as jesed said maybe I need to go for understanding of the general dynamic because this whole situation has knocked me for six (if ever there was a smilie that fitted the bill this one is it ... :brickwall: ). I'm not a teenager and in my head I'm telling myself to accept it and move on but there's something stopping me and hopefully the iChing will clarify that.

Thanks again for all your time :bows:

Applegirl ;)

[jesed]

Would you be able to clarify what question 1 about the time means?

I have learn that an hexagram is a complex of various meanings: the objective situation PLUS the subjective situation; the time as a "quality" of the situation and about what can be expected and what cann't be expected (like "time to act" or "time to wait" or "time to examinate"); and the time as calendaric perspective. All this can be found in one single answer, when the question is about the general situation. So, "General Time" is something like a general picture of te situation, wich included it's objective limits and posibilities plus the subjective elements that influences the way the people moves within those objective situation, plus the kind of action suited for that situation (time to act or time to wait, time to rest or time to hide..etc.), plus calendaric hints to better understand the historial evolution (if you want to know the future evolution of a situation, you need to start by undertanding it's past origins).

Best

[applegirl]

Thanks for that jesed, I think I get the sense of it now. I've been re-reading the course materials too for clarification. I'm going to spend a bit of time with the coins this evening and I'll bear what you say in mind - I get the sense that asking for the influences at play at the time of the relationship may help decipher the dynamic that existed between us.

Thanks for clarifying that

Applegirl ;)