Hex 12.4 into Hex. 20 - Need inspiration

[sandor]

Hello Friends.
I?d like to share with you my experience. For the past year & a half I?ve been feeling attracted to experience my sensuality (including casual sex encounters) outside my partnership, a loving 8-year-relationship with my boyfriend. I truly rejected "stepping outside" this caring union for a long time, but the moment came when the necessity of experience became stronger. I felt guilty at first. Progressively, I became more attuned with the sensual zone of my being. I tried to understand these areas were rejected by me during the time I was a teenager.
Thinking of these things, I cast the coins and the result was Hex 12.4
Thanks for your time, thanks for sharing. Sandor.

[bruce]

Hi Sandor,

Hex. 12 is an image of two halves of a whole going their own separate ways. Your spiritual or idealistic wishes move upward, as your earthly drives move downward (toward the sex cakra, you could say). This makes an interesting picture of your situation, in that you express two directions your heart is moving in. Namely, away from the center.

Line 4, the first line in the upper trigram of heaven looks upward rather than downward for support, and finds the support it needs: ?acting at the command of the highest is without blame? and others partake of the blessing. Acting at the highest command could mean following your conscience, justice, balance, or for that matter ? freedom.

In relation with 20, those are the things which are being thought of and weighed. The fan yao of 20.4 corresponds with 12.4, emphasizing the freedom of choice as a guest of the king.

In this parting of ways there is clearly greater levity toward the higher than gravitating toward the lower. But only you can decide which is which. And that's what 20's about.

[sandor]

Thank you, Bruce.
Your lines have clarified the inner fight that?s being fought within me. They are so explanatory!
Decision should be activated, shouldn?t it?
Thanks again. Best regards, Sandor.-