Hexagram 4 in response to eliminating/handling jealousy

[manitoba33]

My boyfriend and I just had a several day long fight over my jealousy. Instead of addressing my insecurity about a woman who I imagined to be infiltrating his circle to get closer to him, I let it fester and it came to a head. The painful thing about this is, I told myself a story about her and made it into something big that may not have even been there.

I want to take full responsibility for elimination my jealousy or at least handling it more maturely/consciously as it has been a recurring source of misery for both of us. I asked the Yi what actions I should take to bring us closer to intimacy and further from jealousy and I got Hexagram 4:

Changing lines were 3,4, and 5

Does anyone know what this means? It seems somewhat ambiguous and I just want to know where to start healing this madness. Thank you so much for your knowledge and for your insight!!

Love and Light
Manitoba

[bradford_h]

Manitoba-
I use transitional hexagrams with multiple changing lines. These suggest that you read the lines 4.3, 18.4 and 50.5 before going to Hex 44.
18.4 especially suggests finding some help in getting to the bottom of your insecurities. Not just living with them. Counselling, or some other kind of serious search for earlier roots to this problem. Sometimes when we can't get a grip on these problems they can undermine every relationship we ever have. And when it comes to insecurity, having things always falling apart doesn't help.

[dobro]

4.3.4.5>44

Hex 4's about learning. There's something you don't know (in this case, how to deal with or avoid jealousy) that it is high time you started to learn.

Hex 44's about contacting but not getting intimately close to something (in this case jealous feelings).

So, I see what you drew as exactly echoing your concerns: how to learn how to avoid jealousy.

Perhaps the individual lines offer some more detailed advice about how to deal with it.

[manitoba33]

Thank you Dobro and Bradford...

I always though hexagram 44 was just simply 'bad'. It meant 'liaison', or something deceptive or shallow or hidden...

But I suppose within the context of the question, it COULD be referring to the jealous feelings...

Am I taking things too literally with the i ching ?

[bradford_h]

44 is an undermining influence, and it could well mean that if you don't get a good handle on this problem (50.5) it could undercut all your relationships, weakening them from below.

[frank]

Hi Manitoba33,

I did not look at this before responding the other post. Is this then the second time you receive 44 as ?end? hexagram? Then that is a message alright...

By making the changing lines Yang, and that?s in this case the lines in positions 3,4,5, you get hexagram 31 Influence... You realy feel strong for this man, and the jealousy could be very well come from anxiety and insecurity.

Let me say that I admire you for even try to do something about things that are going on inside of yourself. Great responsible feeling.

Hexagram 4 is in the first place, to me, a signal of the Yi, that he already answered you earlier on questions about the same issue... and probably over and over again :-D...

By changing line 3 alone you get hex. 18... a time for restoration. A good time is already put into actions as you DO recognise that things like jealousy could be a part of the problem here... It?s that you said it, but the Yi is only signalising me about desires, and not about jealousy in particular, although any psycologist could tell you that jealousy is a manifestion of a wanted desire you do not posses (yet :-D)...

By taking this further and changing line 4 then (and perhaps read line 4 of 18 as well, besides 4 of 4...) you get hex. 50. The Melting Pot... In this case it can mean two things, I guess. It could symbolise the relationship OR it could mean you as a human being, and your inner restoration... OR both, as the Yi can do that...

Hex. 50 The Cauldron is about cleaning things up, and trying to get a higher standard. Perhaps cleaning up your inner insecurity or the relationship itself.

Then by changing line 5 you get 44... Line 5 of 50 speaks about the jade rings... Perhaps 44 is just saying what you desire, and the lines are the road to get it...

Am I making sense?

Hug,
Frank

[manitoba33]

That makes a lot of sense Frank...Thank you for your insight and thorough response.

Strangely, it seems like sometimes the 'pains' or rough spots in relationships are what ultimately take us higher. The irony! In this case, there is some amount of pain and uncertainty in taking some time for myself to restore and clean up, but the gift could be an even stronger relationship...

Incidentally, I asked if during this time of me fighting the demons my boyfriend was going to miss me and come back to me.

I got hexagram 50, unchanging.

That seems to me very positive, no?