What to bite?

[vera]

I've used the I Ching for a couple of years now, but I'm new to this message board. I have a huge decision to make, and I need some help making heads and tails out of my heads and tails.

I'm in a relationship that is tedious. We have a toddler together, but we're not married. We're obviously in a time of change, and I'm very aware that the direction of this change is up to me. I want what is best, but I'm not sure what that is. I'm not in any great push to leave him behind, but the current dynamics of our relationship will end. Period.

When seeking a general direction for the relationship, I get 21 with a change at line 4. When seeking the future if we stay together, I get 59 with no change lines.

There's no doubt it's time to bite. Last night, he even jumped back and asked me not to bite him! I need to make sure I'm not getting ready to gnaw on the wrong bone.

Any suggestions how 59 fits? Any opinion would be appreciated.

[micheline]

Vera,
21.4 says there are definitely some things that need reform in your relationship and there is an opportunity to get to the bottom of them. You need to be vigorous and focused, and kind of unrelenting in your task, but it can be done if you persevere.

59 unchanging says that if you stay together, there will be those obstacles to your togtherness that need to be dissolved. They won't go away. Can they be dissolved? I think 21.4 says they can, but only with focused willingness. Is HE willing to bite through with you?

[vera]

Micheline,

Is he willing? Yes. Is he able? I'm not sure. I'm not sure he understands just exactly what the obstacles are.

He has no good personal direction, and that makes it difficult for him to provide good direction for a child.

We have a family vacation the end of the month that he can't attend because he has to go to court for interference with official acts. What a wonderful message to a child. He's still caught up in who was right and who was wrong on that particular night. He can't comprehend that maybe he should have avoided the situation.

We weren't there. This is why we don't live with him. But they drew down on him before they took him to jail. He doesn't understand that this sort of thing may have an effect on a toddler.

He's willing to change the things he sees. He's not able to see the things that need to change.

He is a kind and loving father. He sings the Elmo song while he works. He's fun-loving and happy when he's with us. He's never laid a hand on her or I. But he just doesn't see the whole picture.

[frank]

Hi Vera,

To me 21 seems a time of biting trough. When line 4 changes you get hex. 27.. the need for the look of nourishment. There is a biting trough aknowledgement and recognision if you still feel the same for each other and both your needs.

By receiving 59 to the question if you would be staying together in the future, I would say no... as 59 is about vapourising things... BUT the Yi is alsways working on a very subbtle level, so why not now and 59 then could also mean that borders will be vapourised... You can handle the biting through then...

Hug,
Frank