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masami
October 9th, 2008, 06:41 PM
a man and me. we had five month together. it was a long distance relationship. at the end he told me not to be ready for a new relationship again and left me. (he was married for 15 years before.)

thats 2 and a half month ago.
for me it was very hard, for him maybe easing. i let him go.
since then every two or three weeks he has been writing a short message to me.
seems he trys to keep contact. i was very carefuly and behaved neutral, cause i was very bruised.

a few days ago he sent a birthday present to me and the wish to have a coffee and likes to hug me.
i`m not over it, still thinking on him too, but i am not sure if someone can be healed in 2 month.
and maybe we dont have the same ambitions in life. i`m not a mother yet and wish to be one (not so much time anymore) he already has a child and does not know if he likes to have one more. (the child discussion was always made by him, much to early, but a debate on principles)

but to make a longe story short:

i asked:
"how would it be for me to see him?"

18.1.:
is the yi telling me: stop speculations?
say good bye to your "unborn" child or to him. you cant have both!

18.2.:
maybe my mistakes cause the breakup, maybe i was to fast in this relatinoship.
but i was in love and had strong feelings... its not easy for me to make small steps then.

maybe you can tell me:
no chance for you both and love, thats friendship or try it again but more slowly.
i am confused.
thanks for you help.

zhan1
October 9th, 2008, 07:30 PM
Hi masami,

Hexagram 18 represents an effort to repair what has been damaged and it appears your friend is trying to do just that. The commentary for line 2 speaks of being centered or "obtaining the central way", which sounds very zen-like (and probably refers to the 2nd line being centered in the lower trigram), but it is still good advice to stay calm and balanced. Further readings with the Yi will likely shed more light on the situation.

willowfox
October 10th, 2008, 05:29 AM
Yes it is about repairing the situation and says that as the affair is not completely dead there is still a chance to heal it but take things slowly as wounds take time to repair themselves.