Relationship

[moonrise]

Hi!

I have an older friend who helped me a lot especially in difficult times of my life. I was asking about him here already, when we had a lot of difficultis which were resolved when we met in some place where we both go. We had a very lovely meeting but later, when he got involved in his work, he became distant again.
Now the contact is only by email but I feel he became cold again...maybe these are just my fears and maybe he is just too busy.

I asked Yi Jing: give me the insight into this relationship.

I got 40.1.5 ->58

And later I asked:
What should I do in this situation with this man?

I got:

61.2.3.4 ->13

Maybe it is just my wishful thinking, but it seems we are still friends and there is still sharing between us.
40.1.5. is saying that we went through some difficulties but which are resolved now and I should be careful not to fall again into the same trap. But we can still share and enjoy.

And 61 with its changing lines is about me staying true to myself and not be too dependent on him which I am!http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/happy.gif It is true, if he responds I am the happiest person in the world, if he ignores me, I cryhttp://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/happy.gif I don't know why this person means so much to me, it just happened. He was like a father to me and I love him like a father.

Can you please give me your insights about this? I don't always grasp the meaning of what Yi Jing is trying to tell me.
Thanks.

[exnihilo]

"I asked Yi Jing: give me the insight into this relationship.

I got 40.1.5 ->58"

I have a few ideas about the first reading:

I think the two fan yaos(40.1 to 54.1) and(40.5 to 47.5) point out that you're feeling left out (54), depressed (47), and that you don't matter that much to him(54).

I think the two moving lines of 1 and 5 are telling you that you shouldn't let this bother you. You're perhaps making too much of it and reading into it things that simply aren't there.

Line 5 seems to be saying that you need to deliver yourself from these worries and re-imagine the situation. Bradford's commentary for this line reads,

"Freedom is in the attitude. Sleep under a tree in the mountains and you?re camping, sleep under a tree in the park and you?re homeless. The unfree are unfree wherever they go, especially on
vacation. The free are always free, even in chains or in prison."

You wrote,

"I feel he became cold again...maybe these are just my fears and maybe he is just too busy."

I think the Yi is saying that yes, it's just fear on your part. Imagine that he's just busy and let that be your attitude.

I think line 1 is saying the same thing. Take it easy. Nobody has done anything wrong. Everything is OK.

Hexagram 58 is about communication and rejoicing. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Control your fear.

[exnihilo]

"And 61 with its changing lines is about me staying true to myself and not be too dependent on him which I am!"

Actually, I think that the first reading was saying that.

I think your 61 to 13 reading is telling you that there's a deep connection here and that this is the reason for your worries. This isn't a shallow friendship. So, be sincere. Be there for him. However, I think the first reading does suggest that you're worrying needlessly.

[nicky_p]

Dear Moonrise,

I wonder whether in 61 to 13 the Yi is advising you to bring your inner truth out into the open? Maybe if you tell your friend some of your fears you will get the reassurance needed that he is just busy?

Love
Nicky
xx

[moonrise]

Hi everyone!

Thanks a lot for your answers.
I should stop being so afraid...I am always so scaredhttp://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/happy.gif

It is a deep, very meaningful connection, at least from my side. Trully a treasure and I get afraid to loose it. He is very involved in his work, so this relations don't matter to him so much. So I get afraid to loose it.
But with the fear I can create so much trouble that then I really loose.
I should lighten up, I guesshttp://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/happy.gif

I admit, I am afraid to tell him so openly about my fears, I am afraid the would just tell me to stop nagging him. He is to busy for this kind of dramahttp://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/happy.gif


Thank you for your input!