Hexagram 61.2 > 42

[ddream]

Hi again! :)

The question:
Doesn't he care about me?

The answer:
First hexagram: 61
Second hexagram: 42
Changing line(s): 2

I'm not sure how to interpret the answer.
Thanks for your time. :)

[tigerintheboat]

Speak and act with inner truth, sincerely and genuinely, and there will be increase and progress in the relationship.

Tiger

[willowfox]

Yes, he cares about you a lot, just stop and look at his actions towards you. If you look carefully then you will see his love for you, so don't have any doubts.

[ddream]

Thanks, guys! :)

The problem is I don't see it. I thought there was something and definitely chemistry, but I talked about the situation to some friends and they seem to think he doesn't care about me or doesn't want anything to happen with me. And I admit I'm not sure either. But I'll take a closer look and apply the answer of the I Ching and hopefully things will turn out good. :jap:

Thanks again! :)

[philish]

Your friends might not see it because this reading (at least according to the experience of others on this board) suggests the connection is empathic/spiritual, with no guarantee of action to proceed from it. I would imagine that with such sympathy between two people any action would be positive. But sympathy does not guarantee involvement.

I've received this line, too, and it's a wonderful reassurance of two hearts speaking the same language. It's an inner, hidden truth, so don't expect a lot of outward evidence.

Does this help?

[ddream]

It does help, but what do you mean by "sympathy does not guarantee involvement"? I don't want get in details about my situation, but I'll just say that he is in another relationship right now. Nothing happened between us. But there are lots of glances and smiles. There is definitely an attraction. But everytime I'm trying to talk to him, he seems afraid or like he wants to run away. I'm just wondering if there could be more. Maybe the interpretation would be different knowing these information? :confused:

[ddream]

I just want to add that I asked another question to the I Ching yesterday, which was "How does he feel about me?" and I got hexagram 37 changing to 8.

[willowfox]

I just want to add that I asked another question to the I Ching yesterday, which was "How does he feel about me?" and I got hexagram 37 changing to 8.

His feelings seem quite strong in a warm and enduring way, I am sure that he would like to get to know you better as well, as there is a sense of union in his mind.

[ddream]

But I'm wondering if the union wouldn't be more about his relationship with other person right now. Could it be a possibility or not really because of how I asked the question?

[trojan]

have you got 2 threads here running on the same crush ?

[ddream]

Yes, I'm sorry about that.

[philish]

but what do you mean by "sympathy does not guarantee involvement"?

From what I've experience (and others), it means that he may really dig you and you two are running on the same wavelength, but may not lead to a date or a kiss or anything else. But it's special, the feeling.

The second reading might simply mean he feels "at home" when he's with you. I don't know the circumstances that bring you together, but Hex 8 implies a choice is made to be with another.

He's in another relationship. That happens with lots of attractions, and it's a definite complicating factor. Maybe it's time to ask the Jesed series of questions: "Show me the general time/ What's my role in this time/What's his role in this time?" Or you could ask the ye old Jung inquiry: What do I need to know about this?

These questions together could get this crush placed into context. The "feelings" readings could read really positively, but the context questions should better help you determine the overall picture which may or may not look as rosy.

[sammiemae]

I was going through my Blofeld today, and his translation is very pithy (and should make you feel good):
"A crane sings in the shade, its young ones follow suit. I have a fine goblet and I will share it with you. (Commentary) 'Its young ones follow suit' means heartfelt desire."
His footnote says: "A longing in which others share."

Go for it! :)

[ddream]

Maybe it's time to ask the Jesed series of questions: "Show me the general time/ What's my role in this time/What's his role in this time?" Or you could ask the ye old Jung inquiry: What do I need to know about this?

Does this mean I could ask "What should I do now?" I asked this question before and I always seem to get the same kind of answers: be patient, don't rush things, focus on small successes, go step by step. I asked the question again yesterday a few weeks after the last answer and I got 43 unchanging. I'm not sure if it means breakthrough in a sense of saying what I have to say or breakthroug in a sense of separating from him. I'm still reading about the hexagram right now and trying to relate it to my situation.

But is this a good question to ask or it's not really a time question?

[ddream]

I was going through my Blofeld today, and his translation is very pithy (and should make you feel good):
"A crane sings in the shade, its young ones follow suit. I have a fine goblet and I will share it with you. (Commentary) 'Its young ones follow suit' means heartfelt desire."
His footnote says: "A longing in which others share."

Go for it! :)

Thanks for your reading! :)
I like having different advice and readings to see which one suits my situation better.

[sammiemae]

You are welcome. That's why I find it useful to have a few I Ching books; see what they all say. I think that Blofeld clarifies this line better than Wilhelm.

Still, if he's in a different relationship, that is a whole another question (might make sense to ask if you will ever be together, so you can set your expectations accordingly).

[ddream]

You are welcome. That's why I find it useful to have a few I Ching books; see what they all say. I think that Blofeld clarifies this line better than Wilhelm.

Still, if he's in a different relationship, that is a whole another question (might make sense to ask if you will ever be together, so you can set your expectations accordingly).

That's a good question. I never though of asking it. I don't know why. Maybe I'm afraid of the answer. But that would set the record straight, that's for sure. I'll do another reading later when I have more time. Thanks again! :)

[trojan]

Your friends might not see it because this reading (at least according to the experience of others on this board) suggests the connection is empathic/spiritual, with no guarantee of action to proceed from it. I would imagine that with such sympathy between two people any action would be positive. But sympathy does not guarantee involvement.

I've received this line, too, and it's a wonderful reassurance of two hearts speaking the same language. It's an inner, hidden truth, so don't expect a lot of outward evidence.

Does this help?

From what I've experience (and others), it means that he may really dig you and you two are running on the same wavelength, but may not lead to a date or a kiss or anything else. But it's special, the feeling.

The second reading might simply mean he feels "at home" when he's with you. I don't know the circumstances that bring you together, but Hex 8 implies a choice is made to be with another.

He's in another relationship. That happens with lots of attractions, and it's a definite complicating factor. Maybe it's time to ask the Jesed series of questions: "Show me the general time/ What's my role in this time/What's his role in this time?" Or you could ask the ye old Jung inquiry: What do I need to know about this?

These questions together could get this crush placed into context. The "feelings" readings could read really positively, but the context questions should better help you determine the overall picture which may or may not look as rosy.

I'd vouch for what Philish has said. I think you have to appreciate the connection is quite ethereal, spiritual 61.2. Most often the relationship doesn't come to anything in real terms yet there still may be a strong bond that transcends time, that exists on another level...but that doesn't mean its going to manifest as an ordinary relationship you know dating, being partners, friends whatever..thats what the calling out of the crane is about IMO. She calls out because the baby isn't with her...the baby (er chick should i say) is still very much connected with her but all she can do is call and feel the bond. Its not bad but it might feel bad if you don't appreciate how kind of rarified the connection is and expect the relationship to go through usual stages in getting to an established as a relationship in the physical world.

[ddream]

I'd vouch for what Philish has said. I think you have to appreciate the connection is quite ethereal, spiritual 61.2. Most often the relationship doesn't come to anything in real terms yet there still may be a strong bond that transcends time, that exists on another level...but that doesn't mean its going to manifest as an ordinary relationship you know dating, being partners, friends whatever..thats what the calling out of the crane is about IMO. She calls out because the baby isn't with her...the baby (er chick should i say) is still very much connected with her but all she can do is call and feel the bond. Its not bad but it might feel bad if you don't appreciate how kind of rarified the connection is and expect the relationship to go through usual stages in getting to an established as a relationship in the physical world.

I do appreciate the connection as it is right now. I don't expect a usual relationship to be established between us. I know it probably won't happen. Of course, I somehow hope it could be different. I think there is more than just a physical attraction. I feel, if something was to happen, it would be more than just physical somehow. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the feeling I have about the situation.

I do understand your point and I agree with you. It doesn't mean something will happen even though a connection might be present. Now, like sammiemae said, it might be good to ask the question even though I might be disapointed with the answer.

Thanks for your reading and your time. :)

[philish]

Does this mean I could ask "What should I do now?"

You could ask it and I think you've got the right idea with your reading. Just keep walking your life, step by step. Hex. 43- Decide. Decide to do this and not vacillate with the response between what you know to do vs. what you wish would happen.

"What should I know right now?" is a broader question. It assumes there's a bigger picture than what your next step ought to be here. It's sort of the difference between looking at the next item on the grocery list vs.knowing why you're there at the store to begin with. Could be that you're pulling together a birthday party. Could be that you're planning an intimate dinner. If you know why you're there, the list (the next step) becomes more meaningful.

Of course, the frustrating part is that the Yi might not give you the easiest (most straightforward) answer to interpret.

Hope this helps.

[ddream]

You could ask it and I think you've got the right idea with your reading. Just keep walking your life, step by step. Hex. 43- Decide. Decide to do this and not vacillate with the response between what you know to do vs. what you wish would happen.

"What should I know right now?" is a broader question. It assumes there's a bigger picture than what your next step ought to be here. It's sort of the difference between looking at the next item on the grocery list vs.knowing why you're there at the store to begin with. Could be that you're pulling together a birthday party. Could be that you're planning an intimate dinner. If you know why you're there, the list (the next step) becomes more meaningful.

Of course, the frustrating part is that the Yi might not give you the easiest (most straightforward) answer to interpret.

Hope this helps.

Oh, I see. It could be a good question to ask then to have more advice about the situation I am in at the moment.

As for now, I asked if something would happen between us at some point and I got 37.5.6 > 36. It seems like a negative answer to me. :(

[ddream]

Although, 37.5.6 > 36 could also mean that something's going to happen, but it's going to be painful afterwards. I think it also indicates to act low profile/discrete, which makes sense since he is in another relationship. I'm not sure.

Does it make sense? :confused:

[philish]

Makes sense. But here's a thought: you've asked the Yi a really vague question. "something" and "sometime" are not helpful concepts when you go to interpret your reading. So I'm not sure how much mileage you can get from this.

The more specific your question, the more you'll understand your reading. Hillary has written about this several times, and after months and months of emotionally charges reading sessions, :brickwall: I knuckled down and bought into the method. And yes, it helps. Tremendously.

I don't have the link, but the gist is this: really think, explore your motivation and feelings about this situation. Why do you feel this way? How did you get here? What do you want from it? Why do you want it? If you're honest, you'll probably get to a point where you don't need the Yi for your answer, but if you choose a reading (and you're being honest with yourself) the answer will likely be startlingly clear. And not so emotionally charged.

So now you've got two approaches: the one question general context approach, and the one question in-depth exploration approach. I suspect this relationship is more about your growth than just hooking up with someone. Focus on yourself, if you can. There's nothing to lose there, and lots to gain. :hug:

[ddream]

Makes sense. But here's a thought: you've asked the Yi a really vague question. "something" and "sometime" are not helpful concepts when you go to interpret your reading. So I'm not sure how much mileage you can get from this.

The more specific your question, the more you'll understand your reading. Hillary has written about this several times, and after months and months of emotionally charges reading sessions, :brickwall: I knuckled down and bought into the method. And yes, it helps. Tremendously.

I don't have the link, but the gist is this: really think, explore your motivation and feelings about this situation. Why do you feel this way? How did you get here? What do you want from it? Why do you want it? If you're honest, you'll probably get to a point where you don't need the Yi for your answer, but if you choose a reading (and you're being honest with yourself) the answer will likely be startlingly clear. And not so emotionally charged.

So now you've got two approaches: the one question general context approach, and the one question in-depth exploration approach. I suspect this relationship is more about your growth than just hooking up with someone. Focus on yourself, if you can. There's nothing to lose there, and lots to gain. :hug:

The thing is I already know the answers to "Why am I feeling this way", "How did I get here", "What do I want from it" and "Why do I want it". But I still feel lost and stuck somehow, like this isn't going anywhere or there isn't anything to do. Usually, I can tell what are people's feelings about me. I have a really good intuition and I'm rarely wrong. With him, I just can't tell. I can't read him. It almost seems like I have mixed up signals. Maybe I have this sensation because he's feeling mixed up as well. That's why I'm turning to the I Ching. I know the best solution would be to talk to him, but he doesn't seem to want to. I feel a barrier and I hate it.

I just don't know what do to anymore. I asked:

Q1.Why doesn't he look at me like he used to before? 13.3 > 25
"He has no expectations that the group would accept his true desires and goals, or some secret from his past or something else that is secret or hidden. He is afraid that if this were to become open knowledge, he would suffer for a long time, and this could be true."

Q2.Is everything lost with him? 59.4 > 6

Q3.In regards to him, should I move on? 1

I don't understand the 1 in Q3. But the answer in Q2 seems to be clear that it's done.

[gene]

Hello ddream

I haven't posted here for a while for unspoken reasons, but I just happened to open this up today, and I ran into this, and wanted to make a quick comment, that in a way goes along with what everyone else has said, with a twist. This hexagram is about people coming together naturally and spontaneously, not because they consciously choose to do so, but because there are hidden factors bringing them together. And line two especially promotes that concept. It doesn't necessarily mean he likes you right now, but it means there is an impetus for coming together that possibly he is presently unaware of. This situation usually takes time. It takes time for two people to awaken to the natural impetus to be together, but it happens on an unconsious level.

I perceive in your remarks a lack of confidence about your ability to invoke a relationship. I would just let it flow, let the universe do its work.

Gene

[ddream]

Hello ddream

I haven't posted here for a while for unspoken reasons, but I just happened to open this up today, and I ran into this, and wanted to make a quick comment, that in a way goes along with what everyone else has said, with a twist. This hexagram is about people coming together naturally and spontaneously, not because they consciously choose to do so, but because there are hidden factors bringing them together. And line two especially promotes that concept. It doesn't necessarily mean he likes you right now, but it means there is an impetus for coming together that possibly he is presently unaware of. This situation usually takes time. It takes time for two people to awaken to the natural impetus to be together, but it happens on an unconsious level.

I perceive in your remarks a lack of confidence about your ability to invoke a relationship. I would just let it flow, let the universe do its work.

Gene

My lack of confidence comes from the fact that he is already is a relationship and I know it's probably impossible for something to happen. He is married and he has a child. There is no way something can happen. I didn't want to feel this way about him. I noticed him back in September last year when I started working there. I never did anything because I noticed the baby picture on this desk. I dated other guys and just forgot about him. But then I started dreaming about him and we started looking a little bit more.

After repressing my feelings and my attraction for a few months, I couldn't take it anymore. I see him everything. And even if I don't see him, I hear him. His desk is near my desk. We don't have closed offices. So, I decided to talk to him and send him an e-mail. He was cold a little bit, like he didn't want to talk. From then, he was more distant with me. I waited a few days and told him that I thought he looked really good. From this moment, we started looking at each other A LOT. After a month, it seemed like he was closer. He was saying hi to me, even from a distance. He would just wave to me from afar. I had a feeling maybe now would be a good time to talk to him. I tried again. I sent him an e-mail with a simple sentence. I just said I liked his guitar on his computer. He just said thanks and change the subject to work. Again, he didn't seem like he wanted to talk. So, I said that I didn't want to bother him, but I felt I did. I said I took a chance, but that I thought maybe I shouldn't have. I said sorry and told him to have a good weekend. I didn't realize, but I think my second sentence was too direct (taking a chance). From then, I got mixed feelings. We looked a each other, but not that much and not like before that e-mail, which was a lot and intense.

Lately, it seems like he doesn't even care anymore. Tuesday, he passed in front of my desk to go see someone. We looked at each other because I was turned on the side and we couldn't really avoid it. I thought the glance he gave me was really cold. I can't explain it. I distance and the coldness I felt before is more present then ever now. So, I just don't see how he could somehow feel something for me. He doesn't seem to care at all. He doesn't even look at me anymore. I feel like something is gone. I wish he could feel more for me, but I don't see it right now. I see nothing. And I'll probably be gone soon with the offer I received to go work in another building. I don't know... :(

[willowfox]

Your answers suggest that there are just a few too many obstacles in the way these days, to me it suggests that he is wary of getting involved anymore perhaps because his wife has noticed a change in his behaviour and said something about it and that maybe why he is seemingly appearing colder in public.
I think that he is going through a lot of internal conflict and it is hurting him because he doesn't know what to do for the best, so he is taking option 1, stay with the wife.
So, do a Hex 1 and doing something else for the moment, travel, enjoy yourself and let things sit with regards him. The trick is to not look like you are dependent upon him.

[philish]

Adding here, without intent of moralizing: having just finished an almost three year process of divorcing, I can say from my experience everything takes a lot longer than you expect. I'm not talking about the legal process, I'm talking about the human process. My ex and I do not have personalities inclined to open conflict and we did go through therapy (and still continue that), so we did not subject our daughter to the usual bitterness and acrimony, jealousy and power plays that usually come with a divorce involving children. I don't know what your interest is thinking about his own marriage and child, but I was extremely naive about how long our divorce would take; I was not naive about how it might affect my girl.

This whole thing began with an on-line encounter with a person from my past. At first I thought that person was the answer to my pain, but soon I realize the possibility that the re-emergence of this person was catalyzing (overdue and overlooked) personal growth very deep within of both of us. It took my heart another year and a half to accept that. So while my mind recognized what was going on, my will wanted another path altogether. And yes, I've received this 61.2 hex more than twice regarding our connection.

If he's gone cold, it might be that he's considering the cost and the purpose of this attraction. And he may be beginning to processing some deep stuff about himself and doesn't need any complications/distractions while he's at it. Who knows how conscious he is of this whole process? The less conscious/open he is to examining the thoughts/assumptions/decisions that underlie his choices (marriage, et al) and personality, the more likely he's inclined to make someone else the problem. And if you pursue him while he's still addled about all this, you run the risk of him deciding YOU are the problem. Fear is a natural response, even if he's had a heavenly encounter with you. I suspect fear is running him right now, so if you really do care about this guy, give him a lot of space. He needs it.

I still say ask the broader questions, because the facts of this situation suggest that there's a bigger, deeper, more profound process in play. You say you've answered all the questions I posed, but really --as any longtime Yi-er will acknowledge-- our subconscious minds are pushing all kinds of buttons we don't even know about without asking.

If you're wondering --no, I haven't "got my guy". I'm the kind of person who initiates, so to have to let go and let him grow isn't natural to me. All my assumptions about him and how this would go down seemed so clear at the beginning, but one by one they got flipped. My ego got checked sixteen ways to Sunday and I learned a ton about fantasy and projection and about the darker parts of my own personality. Yes, this has been a very very painful but ultimately healthy season in my life. Because now I like myself better for all the right reasons. I've had long periods of silence from my special person, but each time he returned he was a stronger, healthier person --the kind of person I really need in my life. Backing waaaay off and working on my own needs helped up both move forward. It's a slow slow path to emotional and spiritual health, and I now realize this is a lifetime journey for me. Whether this person remains a friend or whether we decide it becomes something else deserves my respect for the virtues of TIME. There is room for both, I believe, but we both need time.

Based on my own experience, Willowfox's advice is useful. Get out there and do something creative, active, and really, really different. Break out of this mental rut and go rock yourself!

[ddream]

Thanks for your advice. I know the situation is quite complicated. I still don't know if he's running away or if he simply just doesn't care. It feels more like he doesn't care, honestly. This morning, he passed in front of me and didn't even look at me. He looked straight and then down at the floor. I think you are both right that I need to do my things and let him have some space because it's getting worse. I think I'm actually going to take some time off from work next week. I need to get away and that'll give me the chance to give him some space at the same time. I don't think he's going to notice my absence, but I just need to get out and be with myself for a few days.

[gene]

ddream

Regardless of all that I have said, or what has been going on, with this new information, I recommend right now that you back off totally, at least for the time being. If he is interested at all, which appears unlikely, then he is very confused, and does not want to rock the boat. Often we are torn between what we need to do and what we want to do, which can be very different things. Even if he likes you, he doesn't want to tear apart what he already has. Let it go. If a guy were showing an interest in this way at work, he would be in very great danger of being fired, or at least having serious complaints filed against him. It isn't wise. If someday his marriage breaks down, or something happens that changes it, then it will be different, but for now, let it go. Especially if it someone you work with.

Gene

[ddream]

Ok, I guess he's just not interested then.

[trojan]

DD at the risk of being boring i can tell you whats happening here is a story old as the hills and probably playing itself out in virtually every workplace in the world..with all the women saying 'what does he want, is he interested or not' :eek:

Theres nothing complex about it, its likley really very simple. Hes comitted to his wife and baby but he still fancies other women and probably would like to sleep with them but its probably not worth all the turmoil it would cause. Some would just have a fling/affair with you but maybe here hes either too honest/loyal to his wife, too tired or all the other logical/emotional reasons why its less than ideal for him to leave his wife or lie to her to go with you in a romantic/sexual sense.

The only complex thing here is your disinclination to really look at the reality/facts of the situation which are hes married, has small child, doesn't seem to want to talk to you, cuts conversations short..so the only thing you have to go on is that he looks at you. I'm not saying that from a position of superiority because I have been there too...somehow its something they miss out in the education of girls, i wish they would put it on the curriculum it would save us alot of trouble in later life lol

As you got 61.2 maybe there is a kind of connection between you beyond the usual situation but you know it doesn't seem like it can be fulfilled right now. Who knows maybe you are in one anothers destiny but 61.2 as others have said means the bond often stays on the soul level.

A possibiltiy to bear in mind also is hes playing with you, messing with your head, you know like one day he'll be all smiles and attentive maybe next will ignore you. A power trip if he knows how it affects you. However I'm only saying that as a caution for you to take care of yourself emotionally, it could be hes simply in a different mood one day to the next or has things on his mind or really just doesn't want to encourage your attentions becasue he feels guilty and wants to stay faithful to his wife.

I don't think you should get too upset thinking he doesn't like you. Its obvious hes not in a position to be too friendly to you, if he were more friendly you'd be in a bigger mess, get more drawn in and in the end would you want him to leave his wife and little kid for you...then it would be complicated.Just relax over it, be sad about it for now.

[gene]

ddream

I have to agree with trojan totally. And I did not mean he does or does not like you. He is not in a position to respond whatever his feelings are. And he is absolutely, one hundred percent right when he says they should put it on the curriculum. If most men, some you might secretly like, approached you gushing all over you, what would you do? You would likely head for the door as fast as you can and stay as far away from that man as possible. Seriously, not just ddream, but all women out there. It's nobody's business what anyone else thinks of you, in other words none of your business what they think or feel, I mean anyone anywhere, not just potential suitors. You need to enjoy the moment for the moment, and quit obsessing over feelings.

Gene