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lenardthefast
June 4th, 2004, 04:47 AM
Subject: The Thinking Problem

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me,and finally I was thinking all the
time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at
lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she
said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money,so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors... They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As
I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking
ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line.

It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster, which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non -educational video; last week it was "Harry Potter". Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking
since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. Today, I registered to vote Republican.


Namaste,
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/hex04.gif
Leonard

lindsay
June 4th, 2004, 05:28 AM
Brother Leonard, what a courageous and touching testament! You've given us all a lot to think about . . . er, ahem, I mean, you know . . . a lot to "link" about. Yes, we should all link together to help our unfortunate brothers and sisters who suffer from this terrible condition. Help them seek treatment. Help them understand that thinking is not a sign of moral failure, but a treatable medical condition like cancer or insanity. I myself was once a secret thinker until the Heritage Foundation offered me a free frontal lobotomy so I could appreciate their point of view. Now I never give politics a thought. A lot of good people with my interests at heart are taking care of it for me. And I'm so happy, Leonard, I met you here. I don't know about you, but I bundle up all my troubles and bring them to the Yi, and the Yi just tells me what to do. No more thinking, no more analysis, no more decision-making. Just ask the Yi, your best friend.

Lindsay

jte
June 4th, 2004, 05:52 AM
Funny stuff, Leonard... it'll be taking a little trip with me to the office printer room door tomorrow.

I notice that if you take out the word Republican at the end it still works rather well...

Makes me... er, wonder??

- Jeff

heylise
June 4th, 2004, 01:22 PM
I'll *ink to that!

LiSe

hilary
June 4th, 2004, 06:00 PM
Yes, Lindsay, isn't it wonderful? Except I got that line, you know where it says in Ritsema/Karcher 'Actually jumping tending-towards the lake indeed'? And it won't tell me when I'm going to jump, so now I can't do anything at all. Not that I mind, of course. There's another reality TV show on now.

pedro
June 4th, 2004, 10:06 PM
Man, Leonard, Ive been there, really, I can relate

You know when I discovered just how deep I was into that stuff? When I started taking thoughts home, ya know, to think them alone, by myself... that's when you really start hitting the bottom

And if I can offer some advice, you know, now that Im over it, after the lobotomy and stuff (there's this really nice plac I know of, I can give you the address, they do two for the price of one; call me if you need to, my number is 3), it is never EVER to start having second thoughts... I mean, thoughts are bad, but second thoughts... pheew.. they really kill you man

And have you ever wondered why men are more prone to this kind of addiction? And why do blondes never get hooked? (ok, ok, I know, Im walking on thin ice, and risking to spoil my image of that real cool chap that understands ladies and stuff, let me try to compensate...)

In any case, it was a shock to all my family and friends that I was so deep into it, they never took me for the type of guy that would think! After all I only had three neurons (they detected it at birth, thought of pushing me back in but it was too late), and they were all down there, where we guys need them most