Who am I?

[pedro]

Today a very 23 thing happened, that really rocked my boat

It wasnt a good thing, but I had been warned (sometimes you only understand it was a warning afterwards)

My life takes a turn now

I realise that I still dont know what I want, and I know that mainly because the so called solutions I came up with never got me anywhere

And I tried all I could come up with ("and I tried, and I tried...")

My heart was numb already, but now it simply exploded away, leaving just an empty space

It doesnt hurt, actually, maybe if the remains of the heart come back home again, it will

For now its just a void

And all I can do is stare at the blank and allow my face to appear from out of it

Stretching the fabric of reality to acomodate

And if it is the demon's face, quite resembling mine, that I once saw, so be it

When we lose everything, what is there to fear?

Maybe it is so...

But all I know now is that I still dont know what I want

I still dont know who I am, who is my people


I still dont know:

Who...

[arien]

... am...

[yidiot]

...I ?

[rinda]

Don't be afraid of the emptiness, you can use it to see something incredibly strong and resilient - you can be aware of awareness more easily here than at almost any other place... This state of mind/heart can be an incredible gift to you if you know how to use it, if you don't allow yourself to be swallowed up by it. When ego trappings are blasted away, it hurts like hell. What you are left with is golden. Look carefully and with reverence at what is left. That of God is within you, and nothing can touch it or blast it away - look carefully.

Rinda

[hilary]

<CENTER>
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/786/2226.gif
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/786/2227.gif
</CENTER>

[martin]

Pedro, I don't know if you are dumb or spoiled http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/happy.gif but you are probably still trying to help yourself.
And as long as you do that 'it' cannot happen.

Okay, you know that. Right?
But that knowledge doesn't help you in the least because you cannot give up trying to help yourself.
You cannot do it. Nobody can.

And even if you could, if you give up because you think that will help, you are again trying to help yourself and that means that you are not giving up. http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/clipart/crazy.gif

This is our human predicament. We are caught in a vicious circle of self control, of self interference.
Welcome to Samsara!
People ask how they can just BE. What a crazy question! Of course, as long as they ask HOW they cannot. So they ask how to end their how ... how crazy can you get?

One day, sooner or later, the samsaric wheel grinds to a halt. Nobody stops the wheel. It just happens.

[hilary]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR SIZE=0><!-Quote-!><FONT SIZE=1>Quote:</FONT>

I say, if this is my world that Im holding in my hand, then I shall eat it raw<!-/Quote-!><HR SIZE=0></BLOCKQUOTE>

'A ripe fruit uneaten.
Noble one gets a cart,
Small people strip their huts.'

Good journey, Pedro. 10 moving to 8 - treading close behind the tiger through a new world?

[heylise]

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/786/2230.jpg
I think I should have an in-depth talk with Yidiot, woman to woman. She seems the most sensible one.
We will pick strawberries in the garden, and then lie on our back in the sun, eating many many strawberries, listening to the blackbird on the top of the house.
He knows all about God.
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/786/2231.jpg

LiSe