An oh dear from China

[em ching]

Oh dear.
My school placement in China is in the middle of nowhere half an hour from the nearest town. We have a 10pm curfew, it is not safe to leave the grounds and nowhere to go even if we should want to, the school is disorganised and not fulfilling the contract. Also I have social worries - there's 4 girls here, already close *and hating it here too but I think adjusting as they've started teaching and maybe that has compensated, though I haven't tried teaching yet so that could clinch it for me if I'm bad! I also don't feel a connection with any of them, they're younger than me and loud types... The organisation promised it would find placements to suit your requirements but they've just chucked people anywhere. But maybe I should be stoical? I have some time after the placement to see China... if I make it through this 4 months. The area is very industrial and so smoggy - I thought that would get better on leaving Beijing but it got worse! And the dry air and pollution has given me nosebleeds and a chesty cough! Although I think that's getting better now...

I asked the I ching - Can I stay here?
29.1,4,5 > 54

I think this answer is saying yes it's bad but I can survive *29.4 and I should just accept this compromising position...?

Thanks all.
Aside from this China has been great - I went to the Temple of Confucius in Beijing! Felt v calm there - very interesting trees and statues of tortoises and a cute on of the man himself. Will put up pics when I'm back for you to see here. Also went to the Great wall which was surreal - I want to go back there.

I've been using the I ching here - have had a few social ups and downs due to the whole program involving a large group of us - and where there's groups there's problems for me - but I've mainly stayed numb and got along ok. Despite sensing bitching .. sheesh, I have made some good connections.
But I've felt disconnected from the answers I've been getting - though not always. But at the beginning I felt as if the I ching had abandoned me in China. Maybe because when travelling it's so important to think for yourself!

The food is crazy - skewered live seahorses, sugar on chips, goo on everything, stuff that looks like one thing, but tastes and feels like another. But the rice and noodle dishes have been fine. Think it was just the buffet food we had at the hotel - I never thought I'd be one of those touruists who seek western food in foreign countries!

Hope you're all good and thanks in advance for any comments on my reading.

Em x

[trojan]

Hi Em the Intrepid Traveller ! :D I must say I have known a few people who hated China, well Bejing anyway, hated the pollution and everything, i don't think your reaction is unusual...big culture shock, thats why i thought you were brave to go..along with all the social unknowns.

My goodness...really before looking at the reading...and i hope this doesn't sound too patronising I just want to say i think you've done incredibly well...amazingly well to do this considering not so long ago you were really struggling with depression. To go a new and very different country, all new people, new job, when you are still battling your own demons to some extent to me is truly amazing :bows: Just think about 2 months ago you were worried about meeting a friend in the town you lived in...how far have you come ! Heck anyone would find this situation challenging to say the least ! My point is first I think you should pat yourself on the back and recognise how well you've done !

Anyway to the reading i agree with your interpretation. This is indeed very challenging situation, full of unknowns (29) which you can't exactly prepare for since its all new. And of course its a situation where you aren't really in control, you are fitting in to someone elses agenda, I think this is the 54, the organisation who place you. So you are asking 'can i stay' well it looks to me as if just when things seems at their worse you get some help, a reprieve, see light at the end of the tunnel (29.4) and 29.5 you almost feel like you are going to hit crisis point...but the water, the danger , the trouble only reaches the rim, it doesn't overflow, crisis is averted. So I think it looks hopeful that you can stick out the bad bits yes...becasue ultimately they won't get that bad.

having said that...just speaking as me, knowing you've been unwell I'd personally not want to see you sort of strained to breaking point...if there were any point you felt you couldn't stick it to me there would be no shame in leaving. Guess you could take each day at a time, knowing that if things get too bad you can go. But putting me aside for a moment :D I feel the Yis answer indicates you can make it through this.


Nice to hear from you !

[trojan]

BTW I award you best thread title of the month "an oh dear from China" :rofl:

Its like your're Claritys own roving reporter... in the birthplace of the Yi

[rodaki]

oh dear.
hi Em, sorry to hear about your troubles . .

29 to 54 certainly does not sound that pleasant, falling in the pit, with not much means and not much room to express yourself or explore the place since you constantly have to watch your step . . not the best conditions for spontaneity or joy i guess . .

but it's not fatal you know, you can make it alright it's just that now you have a clearer idea of the situation -i hope you can find at least some friends to ease the whole mess . . 29 is about trials and how you need to travel light -don't pressure things or get panicky, just keep your head above water and try to work with it .. like swimming maybe?

and then there's 54 with its two characters . . i often find 54 to be about a guilt trip we find ourselves into -one part wants to go one way, the other has objections and both end up feeling blind and lame . . it's a cruel situation you know . .

I wouldn't worry so much about how you relate to Yi, in foreign situations it's natural if it takes you longer to find your own connection . .

take care -and do post an update of how things are going for you :) . .

[schastlivchik]

Hi there,

When I read your post I really felt for you. Hopefully this post and others from this supportive community will help you keep your chin up.

The first image 29 quite clearly reflects your present situation: the double water symbolizing the lack of clarity in the situation (including how you were carelessly placed in your current location). You took a risk (water) not knowing (water) where you would end up. Fortunately there are changing lines. This is not the final say...

With the inner trigram representing you, if you follow the development of the situation into the middle and final hexagrams, they show you in control (inner thunder wood controls outer mountain earth for the Middle hexagram 27 Nourishment) and (inner lake metal controls outer thunder wood in 54 Marrying Maiden), which means that there is the potential to shape your situation. Both show the inner shaping the outer. Now it is time to brainstorm in what ways, especially small ways, can you influence the situation? Keep looking for them and act on them.

The tendency to give up is also seen in the fact that the water in the first hexagram can be swallowed totally by the earth and wood in the middle hexagram. That means that your situation runs the risk of not fully developing, and that you need the resolve of metal (which births water) to stick with it. Metal lake is also the final inner trigram so it also represents you to the end. This resolve, expressed in the gentle Dui way, is a key to your success, it seems.

Because the final hexagram depicts a situation that is far from ideal, where you are not in control but can still be successful, this probably suggests that the improvements you make may not be major, but that they will definitely be an improvement over the first situation.

Please keep us posted.

Good thoughts your way,

Schastlivchik

[magg]

With the I Ching it is so interesting to keep track of and understand the original question. 'Can I stay?' is difficult to decipher. Perhaps you mean: 'How will things go if I stay, given my current attitude?' You have many complaints. Was it your choice to go on this venture? If so, then you can choose to stay or go. Where ever you go, you will still have your own perceptions. This is where the I Ching can be so helpful. A good question might be: 'How can I improve upon my stay here?' or 'How will things go if
I decide to leave?' I think the answer you got reflects the mind and perceptions of the questioner - you see difficulty, lack of connection, danger. The mind manifests.
Perhaps meditate on 56 (The Traveler) or 52 (Keeping Still). Then think about what you most desire and ask your question with positive intention. Let all things be as they are. Find the flow of the Tao, and move from there.
Happy Trails.

[diamanda]

So nice to hear from you Em! even though not nice to hear that it's not so good.

29:1 - warning not to 'grow used to evil'. Well, it's not good, don't try to like it.
29:4 - 'Simply handed in through the Window', this has got to be computer/Clarity :-)
29:5 - take the easiest route possible, make things as easy as you can.
54 - it's not what you expected, but you can still make do.

Hidden lines,
60:4, take the easiest way possible
58:5, have nothing to do with bad influences
So, pretty much the same advice.

Wishing you all the best!

[trojan]

So nice to hear from you Em! even though not nice to hear that it's not so good.

29:1 - warning not to 'grow used to evil'. Well, it's not good, don't try to like it.
29:4 - 'Simply handed in through the Window', this has got to be computer/Clarity :-)
29:5 - take the easiest route possible, make things as easy as you can.
54 - it's not what you expected, but you can still make do.

Hidden lines,
60:4, take the easiest way possible
58:5, have nothing to do with bad influences
So, pretty much the same advice.

Wishing you all the best!

i like that for 29.1, not seen it put that way before but think it very apt.

[tigerintheboat]

Oh dear.
My school placement in China is in the middle of nowhere half an hour from the nearest town. We have a 10pm curfew, it is not safe to leave the grounds and nowhere to go even if we should want to, the school is disorganised and not fulfilling the contract. Also I have social worries - there's 4 girls here, already close *and hating it here too but I think adjusting as they've started teaching and maybe that has compensated, though I haven't tried teaching yet so that could clinch it for me if I'm bad! I also don't feel a connection with any of them, they're younger than me and loud types... The organisation promised it would find placements to suit your requirements but they've just chucked people anywhere. But maybe I should be stoical? I have some time after the placement to see China... if I make it through this 4 months.

I asked the I ching - Can I stay here?
29.1,4,5 > 54Em, it is wonderful to hear from you. One thing about the chasm is that as a general rule you always get out, Line 6 notwithstanding, and you didn't draw Line 6. Line 1, yeah you are in a chasm, but try to stay out of the pit inside the chasm. No need to drag yourself down, just deal with things, don't dig down into a pit because things are bad, limit the badness by the way you perceive and talk about it.

Line 4 says help can come down to you, should you be in the pit there is still a connection to the outside. Maybe the community here is the help or some of the others there. But accept help if you fall in.

Line 5: It isn't going to get worse, the waters are already more peaceful.

Yes, I think you can stay. Can you take high doses of Vitamin C, might be useful for your respiratory system? Even a gram or two a day would be useful.

Best Wishes,
Tiger

[em ching]

Thank you all! Feel very supported by your responses :)
I like what you said Schastlivchik about needing the resolve of metal etc. and the imagery was interesting. How do you identify inner trigrams?

It's all going much better. Last night we took a taxi out to the nearest town and were allowed to break curfew. We went to a Karaoke bar where we could sing to our heart's content in a little booth, and we had a meal. The town is 30 mins away and it is a developing area - many factories and trucks etc, cough cough - but we had a good time! Today we were taken for lunch - Donkey in fact which is apparently the next best meat to Dragon's meat, because the dragons in heaven would eat donkey! And apparently rare in China - only 8 restaurants in the whole country serves it. We also went shopping - prices not much cheaper than at home actually unless you go to the dodgy markets full of fake stuff but who would know!? Until it breaks I suppose...

Then we were taken out to an all you can eat buffet - all manner of things so I have a great conglomeration of foods in my stomach right now - but I feel good! Think I'm adjusting more now. I am eager to try the white wine marinated in snake that they have everywhere here too. Think it's supposed to be like a viagra. They seem to want to eat every animal, mineral or vegetable that they can get a hold of to make them superhuman maybe!? We then had a head to toe Chinese massage - tad painful but v relaxing! We're also starting to plan weekend excursions - we can head cheaply by train to the nearest city Shizazhunbg which is the capital of this province, Beijing, Shaolin temple where you can be taught Kung fu by monks! As long as you're a daoist... well I am aspiring to be one :) So things are looking up! And the people at the school treating us well and adapting things for us so we can have more of an experience outside of campus! Plus I hope to travel around after my placement so I can see some southern greenery! And hopefully climb Huangshuan mountain which I've heard is a daoist one.

Of course, I haven't tried the teaching thing yet - starts on Mon. That'll add a new dimension. I'm a bit scared! But all I can do is swim and make the best of the tools I have even if it's not quite up my street.

Thanks again

:)

[schastlivchik]

Hi.

Inner trigram just means the bottom three lines of the hexagram. In your first hexagram, the bottom three lines form Kan, which becomes a symbol of many things, one of which is you. This is then done with each of the hexagrams in your divination.

How good to hear in your latest post that things are already looking up for you!

Schastlivchik

[cuckoo]

Look at the bigger picture, your answer calls for sincerity of purpose, you have joined a school as a teacher, a very honorable profession in China but you are still a foreigner in a strange land where it is you that needs to adjust to the circumstances that you find yourself in. You are both a guest and an employee so you need to act the part, the Chinese are on the whole great workers and they expect you to be the same, do not let yourself down by a show of weakness.

If you do your job as they want you too and generally play the game, keep a low profile and genuinely give it a fair go then you will not only stay but learn to like it.

[em ching]

Hello,

The school want the foreign teachers to keep it simple - drilling and stick to the text book but also play games and keep things interesting. After one day of teaching I'm feeling - eek! I have 17 classes a week - one with kindergartens which is fine - songs etc - but the rest with 11-12 and 14-15 year olds. The Chinese defs work hard - the kids attend school 7 days a week from 7:55am to 9:15pm - can you believe it!

Due to nerves today my introductory lessons maybe I went off on a tangent, and also lost control at one point and my translator had to discipline them... I also did an activity of giving my students English names - but it was a lengthy process rendering most bored and not learning as each student came up to be given a name! But they were all polite and responsive. And I didn't run out of words. I'm just worried I was actually incomprehensible. And yes - they want us to make it easy and not introduce too much - so I suppose I'm trying too hard to be interesting? And I find it hard to be that spontaeneous - maybe they pick up on that?

I feel kind of numb about it all which is weird though - I'm just scared of running out of ideas, not being able to explain coherently and conduct fun games successfully. But I do have a book to work with - maybe I could get away with being a boring teacher? I'm just scared that I'm in the wrong place for me and I feel guilty for being a crap teacher! I feel my life is at crunch point at the minute - but as I said, feeling weirdly calm. I am also not surrounded by people I feel I can get close to (the other foreigner teachers) although there is someone I met who I'd be really sorry not to see again if I left China, but he's very far away, and that's probs a silly/selfish motive to stay. And I don't want to return home a failure but then again I always knew it was a possiblility! Perhaps alcohol would help relax me and open my mind during lessons lol. Eek - very conscious of being a bad person at the moment, or at least one who has no clue what's good for her and thus unable to help anyone else! (If I can't help myself). I also have very early starts tomorrow - after not finishing lessons this eve till 8.20pm! Plus I have a cough that keeps errupting embarrassingly.

I asked:
What will happen to my life if I leave? (coming here was partly to escape home)
30.1,4 > 52

What will happen to my life if I stay?
30.2,5,6 > 43

I feel in no fit state to read these readings - except that hex 30 suggests that I need clarity!? Sure I do. I feel trapped. Eek is all I can say. I don't think I've ever needed clarity more...

Thanks all so much :)

[cuckoo]

Look at 52 going home to hide.

Look at 43 you finally settle into your routine , you achieve a victory of mind over matter and help educate a bunch of kids, again stop being the centre of the universe, you were draw to China for a reason and it was for your own good, its a test but one you can pass easily.

As for teaching, flow with it, don't force it, and don't lose it in front of the kids.

[trojan]

Hello,




I feel kind of numb about it all which is weird though - I'm just scared of running out of ideas, not being able to explain coherently and conduct fun games successfully. But I do have a book to work with - maybe I could get away with being a boring teacher? I'm just scared that I'm in the wrong place for me and I feel guilty for being a crap teacher! I feel my life is at crunch point at the minute - but as I said, feeling weirdly calm. I am also not surrounded by people I feel I can get close to (the other foreigner teachers) although there is someone I met who I'd be really sorry not to see again if I left China, but he's very far away, and that's probs a silly/selfish motive to stay. And I don't want to return home a failure but then again I always knew it was a possiblility! Perhaps alcohol would help relax me and open my mind during lessons lol. Eek - very conscious of being a bad person at the moment, or at least one who has no clue what's good for her and thus unable to help anyone else! (If I can't help myself). I also have very early starts tomorrow - after not finishing lessons this eve till 8.20pm! Plus I have a cough that keeps errupting embarrassingly.

I asked:
What will happen to my life if I leave? (coming here was partly to escape home)
30.1,4 > 52

What will happen to my life if I stay?
30.2,5,6 > 43

I feel in no fit state to read these readings - except that hex 30 suggests that I need clarity!? Sure I do. I feel trapped. Eek is all I can say. I don't think I've ever needed clarity more...

Thanks all so much :)

You are not 'a bad person'....Its your first day, I'm sure it will seem better in a few days time. Don't expect so much of yourself, you don't need to be the greatest teacher in the world just do what you gotta do to get by. At a glance staying looks somewhat preferable to leaving...but like we already discussed staying isn't easy by any means., earlier readings suggested it could be done.but that doesn't mean if you choose to leave you are a failure or a bad person or have done anything wrong. Your own well being is paramount IMO. Quite liked Doras response for the 29 answer...

Don't have time to do detailed reading...er but don't try the alcohol to relax you in lessons lol. remember noone would find this easy, so don't beat yourself up over it.

[trojan]

Look at 52 going home to hide.

Look at 43 you finally settle into your routine , you achieve a victory of mind over matter and help educate a bunch of kids, again stop being the centre of the universe, you were draw to China for a reason and it was for your own good, its a test but one you can pass easily.

As for teaching, flow with it, don't force it, and don't lose it in front of the kids.

What makes you see it as a test out of interest ? A test of what ?

Also why do you see 52 as hiding ? You make it sound quite a shameful option.

I don't think theres any reason for shame whatever she does. Infact getting 30 for both questions makes me think the experience bring clarity to Em either way, going or staying, perhaps ?

[em ching]

Thanks both.

I appreciate what you said cuckoo about 43 reflecting the goal of reaching mind over matter over this - and a routine - how does the hex reflect routine? That is what I'm aiming for - what perhaps letting it all unfold will show me. And I'll know either way what is really possible - staying or going.
But I don't belive going home I'd be hiding - merely accepting my limitations. Thank you Trojan for seeing that, and for your kindness - I know you know I beat myself up at the drop of a hat! And maybe as you say, it's only the first day - haven't given it a fair whack quite yet. So I will try to stay positive and remember that whatever happens - I'm learning more about the world and myself....

Also, the idea of hex 52 freaks me out - if I went home I would be at a halt and just as likely to freak out! So maybe I need to stay where the action is for the time being and keep my head down - approach things more cautiously rather than all guns blazing (mis-firing) during the lessons... But at the same time, stillness would be great.. but no chance of that for a few months!

Sheesh. The reason I did it as an internship was because I thought there'd be less pressure more support and only young kiddies to deal with! In at the deep end well and truly. I will try to keep my head above water for as long as I can. If it doesn't click... well. All I can do is really plan my lessons and not be over ambitious I guess. And hope. :)

[lucia]

Hi Em

wow you made it to China - well done - I didn't realise from your last thread it was to be so soon! What an adventure!

I also can't offer much tonight but a few non ching quickies.........

First as Trojan has already said it is your first day por favor take it easy give it time - there is nothing wrong in leaving but don't think about that yet it is way too soon and leaving too soon probably will undermine you in the future. Travelling always takes time to adjust, to find new rythyms and ways of being in a place - an teaching too...... I know about that one a bit he he.

There is loads of useful material on the net try first BBC Learning English and the British Council also but there's lots of games audio ideas forums - but don't get overwhelmed either. I google You google He/She/It googles get googling girl.

Planning is crucial but have some small contingencies like something that can become quick fire after they get used to it. I mean things that raise the energy and are fun - Simon Says is a good one for example because you can to some extent vary how complicated it is and it can be a great attention getter. You can do it sitting down or get up and get physical and jump about! Simple stuff. Work with repetition and slightly theatrical gestures.

Longer term projects are also good - building a papier mache land with hills and houses and people to teach names of things, locations and relationships and so on you can use twigs and leaves and whatever but make it last a few weeks - something they can expand on and think about and look forward to.

And simple Rap music is great for older more advanced kids you could get listening to Chinese pop so you know what they're into a bit - get them to help you an get the kids writing and singing karaoke style! These things help break up grammatical boredom and break down barriers too. But I won't go on about this here I just wanted to say I know how you feel but you have a job in hand so think constructively about that instead of doing yourself down. The kids won't eat you!! And if you prepare well you will relax and then you will be more receptive to them.

If you want to PM me with an email address I'm happy to talk EFL for kids if it helps - the last time I did it - it was just me and 15 Moroccan kids of mixed age and ability up a mountain!

Sorry folks for not looking at the lines just thought this might help in practical way.

so take it easy you have only just got there and best wishes

Lucia

[cuckoo]

What makes you see it as a test out of interest ? A test of what ?

Also why do you see 52 as hiding ? You make it sound quite a shameful option.



I would refer you to the judgement of 43, it is about courage, the test is about courage, the courage to do what needs to be done in order to prove to oneself that she has what it takes.


Again I would refer you to the judgement of 52 which is about alienating oneself form the general public, the need to hide, "she does not see anyone", therefore to stay is courageous but to run away is shameful.

The Chinese considered running away in battle a cowardly act, and teaching is indeed a battle.

[cuckoo]

But I don't believe going home I'd be hiding - merely accepting my limitations.


Look at 52 again, it is about self imposed exile, hiding.

43 has no limitations, therefore if you think that you have limitations then they are self imposed.
43 is about courage under fire, the brave one stands you and does what is necessary.

[lucia]

Again I would refer you to the judgement of 52 which is about alienating oneself form the general public, the need to hide, "she does not see anyone", therefore to stay is courageous but to run away is shameful.

Look at 52 again, it is about self imposed exile, hiding.

I don't know what translation you are reading but it clearly got 52 wrong! Is it the I Pu version?

Hilary describes it perfectly in her book........
To still yourself is to come to rest in your own right place. It’s not the opposite of motion, but of being pushed into motion by outside influences. Whether you move or stop is determined inwardly, by your sense of the nature of the time.

And ALL the translations I have ssen say: "NO BLAME"

The Chinese considered running away in battle a cowardly act, and teaching is indeed a battle.

Well, if you approach teaching with that mentality Cuckoo you would be an awful teacher and por dios I would feel sorry for the kids.

THe rest of your comments also seem a little strange:

43 has no limitations, therefore if you think that you have limitations then they are self imposed. 43 is about courage under fire, the brave one stands you and does what is necessary.

43 is about the water rising up to heaven - there it builds up and then it obviously has to come back down - thus you either let it crash down in a monsoon flood type deluge or you excercise some foresight and build irrigation channels, dams etc so the water is usefully contained to some extent. 43 is also about speaking and or facing truth.

If you ain't using I Pu's translation then I suppose it must be the John Wayne edition.........

ho hum - L

[trojan]

Cuckoo is Wfox with a new name

[lucia]

Cuckoo is Wfox with a new name

Ah, then it is the I Pu version.....................

[trojan]

I would refer you to the judgement of 43, it is about courage, the test is about courage, the courage to do what needs to be done in order to prove to oneself that she has what it takes.


Again I would refer you to the judgement of 52 which is about alienating oneself form the general public, the need to hide, "she does not see anyone", therefore to stay is courageous but to run away is shameful.

The Chinese considered running away in battle a cowardly act, and teaching is indeed a battle.

52 has nothing to do with shame Wfox and you are a fine one to talk of shame in hiding ! Calling yourself Cuckoo and asking if you were dead.! I think shame and hiding are more to do with 36...well the hiding anyway

Would have been better to be open and say you were coming back wouldn't it rather than to charge in and make out someone like Em who has shown the greatest courage in attempting this at all IMO will be shamed if she goes home.

[cuckoo]

If one "runs away" then who can you blame? As here 52 takes on a negative meaning, to desert one's post just because the going gets tough is surely not to be praised. What would happen if the Emperor's soldiers didn't like the long hours and those pointy arrows and all decided to run away?

Also, in 43 lake is over heaven which does result in a monsoon deluge, that is why the hex is called "breakthrough". Lucia you have your trigrams in the wrong order.
And it is also about having courage or conviction.

Refer to your books Lucia the truth is there and not the I pu version either. Did John ever write a book?.

[cuckoo]

52 has nothing to do with shame Wfox and you are a fine one to talk of shame in hiding !


Wfox was banned and therefore in forced exile, so is there shame attached to being exiled these days? The Fox was certainly not hiding but extremely busy as per usual. You haven't the first idea what the Fox was doing privately have you, but so many others on this site do know. The Fox will always run free and wild.

But I digress, so back to 52, think of 52 negatively, then you may see that self imposed exiled, running away, makes you lose face not only with your friends but within oneself as well.

[cuckoo]

Well, if you approach teaching with that mentality Cuckoo you would be an awful teacher and por dios I would feel sorry for the kids.

THe rest of your comments also seem a little strange:





In fact I was a very good teacher, and well praised, both by the school and the parents.

And my comments may seem strange but they are not when you "really" think about them as relating to the question.

[topal]

I think you'll have a great time. It'll be challenging yes, but that's all part of it, part of these big changes that invite new experiences. I also think you'll do things you didn't think you could do and be much richer for it as a result.

With the teaching - don't worry about it. I'm absolutely sure you'll do fine. You might even surprise yourself...:)

Topal

[fkegan]

I asked:
What will happen to my life if I leave? (coming here was partly to escape home)
30.1,4 > 52

What will happen to my life if I stay?
30.2,5,6 > 43


Hi Nancy,

You are feeling in a bad place. The first thing is to calm down (cf.hex 39) stop awhile and meditate not drink. That has nothing to do with your Oracles, that is just good advice to anyone in any stressed situation.

Of your Oracles, you have asked a parallel to the ancient Tortoise Shell technique, but you got a Yi answer. Clearly no matter what you do you will be in a hex 30 situation, so read thoroughly the Wilhelm about hex 30 Judgment and Image. Maybe read it twice or however many times it takes to calm down and understand the Commentary.

Between your two Oracles you have 5 moving lines, so only line 3 is not in play for you now. You are NOT at the end of your rope and sinking fast. As the Zen or Taoist would put it--So, why isn't that enough for you. No matter what you will survive!

So to the specifics, if you go you will be confused (line 1) and you will be a flash in the pan with nothing to show for your efforts (line 4) and taking those too lines together, they are both moving Yang lines which would be expressing and exhausting themselves and leaving behind just meditating in the Ashram or retreating to the convent to give up and leave the world behind (hex 52).

If you stay then the Next line place of the transition to the next will play itself out by filling in the Yin Open spaces at the two rulers of the hexagram and bringing about the Next stage in your reality moving toward hex 43--the total power of 5 Yang lines overwhelming the one Yin space and making the Next real without having to know exactly what it will be or how it will play out.

So, the question is what is more attractive to you, becoming a nun or finding out what is next in your active life? The choice is all yours.

In terms of teaching, focus upon making work sheets the students can fill out, working on their own and take home with them to show their parents they are learning English and have them practice speaking some words or phrases in English each class that they can show off to their friends and family and enjoy saying to each other as classmates sharing this special info. The rest can wait until at least your second month of teaching.

Frank

[neegula]

dear em,
i remember clearly i read your post -about leaving from West to go to china- after few days i was registered in this forum. i remember i was very happy for you and i ran to my sister to say "hey, you know there is a boy onClarity going to china teaching...." i don't know exactly why i felt you as a man, maybe because of a kind of strength i perceived in you:)
that strength must be there with you, have a look, i'm sure it is...;)

relax, everything IS fine.

[trojan]

Hi Nancy,

You are feeling in a bad place. The first thing is to calm down (cf.hex 39) stop awhile and meditate not drink. That has nothing to do with your Oracles, that is just good advice to anyone in any stressed situation.


Frank

Hi Frank , as i explained in moderation this is not Nancy. This is Em Ching. Nancys forum name is emc2cme...sounds similar to em ching which is why you mixed them up no doubt.

Thought I'd let you know

[bamboo]

Every teacher, even teachers in their native lands with kids of the same culture, feel stressed and overwhelmed when they start. It's natural. The planning is the key as Lucia says...and some of her ideas above are fabulous ones. You can really have a lot of fun with this, Em, once you get your lesson plans flowing. Remember Robin williams teaching the kids in Good Day Vietnam? maybe you didnt see it, but he played softball with them and taught them american slang and they had a great time.

Going home is always an option....you're not trapped. Why not give yourself a designated timeframe and time to allow for the awkwardness to pass. you can always re-evaluate.
best of luck!

[willowfox]

So, the question is what is more attractive to you, becoming a nun or finding out what is next in your active life? The choice is all yours.

In terms of teaching, focus upon making work sheets the students can fill out, working on their own and take home with them to show their parents they are learning English and have them practice speaking some words or phrases in English each class that they can show off to their friends and family and enjoy saying to each other as classmates sharing this special info. The rest can wait until at least your second month of teaching.

Frank

Becoming a nun, lovely? :rofl:

It is obvious that you have never taught in a Chinese school or any school for that matter, these are children that em ching is supposed to be teaching, and by 9.15 PM these kids are far too exhausted to be practicing English on anyone.

When I was in Taiwan I taught both adults and children and had to follow set lessons.

In Guangzhou, China it was university students, and that was really demanding work, as they had progressed beyond abc and way into grammar and the heavy stuff.

In other places it was just the ordinary stuff, children taking English as a second language.

Lastly, when you work for a Chinese school or university you don't have the luxury of adjusting or slowly getting into the routine, you are thrown in head first from day one and the Chinese expect you to perform and perform well. You are expected to work for your money, not like England or the US where you are allowed to "adjust" or take time off when you chose.

The Chinese are very demanding people but you should see how they themselves work, they never stop, their lives revolve around work and making money, and their philosophy is to never give up.

So, when in China do as the Chinese do(I mean work wise not the smoking cigarettes).

[neegula]

when i was a girl i went once working in algeria (false friend); i could do my job very well, but i had about the same problems em has now. most of all, i felt very alone.

em: look here :)
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?p=108307#post108307

[em ching]

Hello all,

Thanks so much for your contributions - advice and suggestions greatly appreciated.

Willowfox you're right about the CHinese mentality, and that is a factor making me want to feel more determined, but at the same time if I do get worse, I'm doing them a dis-service too. HOwever my lessons haven't been that bad and with careful organisation I could improve - but the actual action of teaching, I'm not enjoying. I can't realax into it - not so good at being fun especially in front of a crowd. But maybe it's ok to be a boring teacher lol. And I have been singing - never thought I'd be able to do that alone in front of people - and the kids are so nice. It's disconcerting really when you feel you've given a bad lesson! They have also followed me on the whole but sometimes I think I've confused/lost them. Thanks to my scatty brain I guess.

I have actually had an offer to go south so it could be all change again soon - hope not our of the frying pan... I'd be going to a beautiful area near Huang Shan taoist mountain where there's also lakes (no greenery here). There is a friend of a girl who's here with me there, and she's really unhappy because she's alone. I however wouldn't mind being alone as I don't fit in with the group here, she's already their friend, and down south I would be nearer to a couple of people I got on with during induction - although in CHina terms it's probs still too far to catch up on the weekend! But my placement is due to finish after 4 months (as it's an internship - I thought there'd be less pressure but yes I was thrown in the deep end!). I just have to see how my lessons go in the next two days - if worse then I will consider leaving the program more seriously... I don't want to but I'd also be doing the school a disservice by imposing myself I guess.. although maybe a mediocre teacher is better than none at all!?

And lucia I may take you up on your offer of teaching suggestions!

Thanks all

Em

[em ching]

Can anyone help me with these readings about changing schools? The girl at the other school is really miserable where she is because she's alone, though she likes the area etc, and the organisers are looking for someone to switch with ther.
I would be teaching older kids but would only have to do 3 lesson plans a week as I'd only see the same class once a week whereas as here it's about 3 times, so more planning needed... also I think I might be more fresh for them if they hadn't seen me for a week rather than every other day. I'd also be in a nicer environment so my cough might clear up (I've been given a cocktail of Chinese medicine by the school doctor here though so it should clear up but hasn't yet! still having erruptions...). I would be the only foreign teacher in the school though and living alone- but I think I'd be ok with that. Even though part of the reason I wanted to do this was meet people, I also feel that overall I'm better off alone rather than in a big group - prefer one on one.

I asked:
Is moving to the school in Jiujiang city the right thing to do?
11.2,4 > 55

This seems to be saying that as long as I'm humble and sincere (line 4) it is the right thing to do. But what could be the relevance of line 2? That I shouldn't forget those far away... think about everyone? Think about the bigger picture in terms of where I'd be most suitable for? For the general good? And 55 - perhaps down south is my best opportunity, or here is as good as it's going to get?

How to make a better job of it there, than I feel I have here so far?
38.3,5 > 1
Maybe saying not to see the worst in everyone and that they're critical (I often feel acutely the description of 38.3) and to make more of an effort to connect? A new start?

Or shoud I leave the programme? (This is probs a pointless question becuase I'm going to see how this week goes - if my lessons in the next two days are worse/more uncomfortable than they have been so far I may consider leaving more seriously.)
1.3,4 > 61

Seems to be reflecting the hard work and that it is overwhelming me *1.3 and that I actually have a choice - both staying and leaving would be right for me... and that I know deep down. Although I know I'd regret going home, but at the same time I don't want to make life difficult for others by staying and not enjoying/being any good at it! But if I could make it work, I know I'd be glad to have done it - it would contribute to my future rather than be buried as an expensive mistake...)

Finally, is there a chance of improvement in my teaching?
5.1,5,6 > 18
I know it's not me - doesn't really push my buttons and because of that I do feel in limbo. Like I'm waiting for something to give. Stay or go. And hex 18 - have always thought of it as irreversible decay, or is it saying that things are salvigable? You might wonder why I signed up for this not being confident about teaching, but I'm compulsive like that... it sometimes feels like sabotage. I just wanted something to happen again in my life! For it to become 3D again after spending months living at home...

I'd really appreciate some thoughts on these readings.
Must go now and do (better) lesson plans...

Em

[willowfox]

Your style of teaching will improve each time you enter the classroom, and there's no need to be nervous in front of a bunch of 12 year olds.

On my very first teaching assignment I walked into the classroom and just stared at all those little faces and then at their mothers who sat at the back of the class taking notes for nearly 5 minutes, then I just went for it, and took control and after that, it was easy. Kids are easy to teach, its was the adults that were so darn difficult.

You are the teacher, you are in charge, and the kids will do as you say.But don't give your power away.

[em ching]

Thanks Willowfox.

It's not that I get nervous, more that I'm not very good at being spontaeneous and haven't been able to relax and enjoy it while standing there... though I haven't had any complete blanks yet, and actually today went well - 100 green bottles countdown. It's definitely easier teaching the younger students - I started with older, and though ok, it was hard to gauge what they knew and didn't know and what would really catch their interest. I'm also not very good at getting angry in my normal life, and older kids need more discipline.

If I am moved south however, it would be teaching older students. Just when I'm starting to feel more relaxed and as if I kind of know what I'm doing with the students here! But at the same time, it might be better because of the environment and also because I'm not fitting in that well with the group which seems to be forming around me lol. Though I'm rubbing along with them I wouldn't mind being alone. Plus at the other school, I'd only have to do three lesson plans a week as I would only see the same class once a week - which might make it easier as I'd be a fresher presence each time - less likely to get bored of me lol, or play up. Also the lesson plans would be more clear and thorough than here where I am juggling...

We'll see how it goes.
:)

[willowfox]

If I am moved south however, it would be teaching older students. Just when I'm starting to feel more relaxed and as if I kind of know what I'm doing with the students here!

Now a word of warning, the older the students are the more difficult it becomes to get them to respond in the classroom.

They will clam up completely because it has to do with the "loss of face" business if they make a mistake in front of their friends/classmates.

I found it terribly hard to get a response from my older students when I was there, as soon as I asked them a question they pretended they didn't hear and hid their head in a book.

Young kids are easy to talk to, some of my young students used to try and play when I was having my tea break, they were really keen and not shy either.

Don't get or show any anger, not good and remember Confucius, is patron saint of teachers.

[em ching]

Hi willowfox,

Thanks for the tips. I'm staying put now though - and will continue with teaching the younger kids and you're right they're far less shy but also, one girl cried when she got something wrong the other day - I felt bad. Loss of face is obviously drilled into them...

I'm having a good time and I feel relatively comfortable with the people I'm with which is good for me! And I'm planning places in the North to visit on weekends - including Datong, Chengde and Qufu etc. all Confucius territory I believe! - he was born in Qufu. Although they're so far away! That's what's annoying about travelling in China.

I'm enjoying the kids too and am coming up with ideas to try and make my lessons more fun next week - anybody know any good games/activities that go down well with 8-10 year olds learning English? I've done the songs - 'head, shoulders, knees and toes' and various others... Pictionary worked out well too...

Thanks,

Em :)

[em ching]

There's so many ideas on the web actually so it's ok!