Sorry guys and girls, a bit of a lengthy one but this is really bugging me. I’m sharing the full story to help any potential interpreters with thanks in advance.
My ex still contacts me from time to time without any encouragement from me, he’s also visited a few times in the last couple of days just to say hello.
His sister who lives with her fiancé contacts him nearly everyday and always has, to come and do various tasks for her ranging from building a shed, to taking her kids to school, picking her up from friends houses or just going for a drink with her to keep her company. He has moved back in with his mum early last year and also helps her out by doing jobs around/on the house. He bends over backwards to help his friends and will drop anything if somebody asks him to do something.
Our relationship was always very gentle, affectionate and caring. Although there are things I need doing around the house (he is a builder) it was always him who pointed them out and offered to do them. My response was always that he could do them only if he felt like it and had the time. There was no urgency and he mustn’t feel he has to. He would show thoughtful signs of affection towards me. Weekly bunches of flowers for no reason, calling around before work if I was ill just to check on me. I would go out of my way to do things to make him happy. We both told each other we loved each other and made plans for the future.
The reason we split about 4 weeks ago was that he had so many demands being put on him from other people/situations that he was feeling stressed about not having time to himself and felt he didn’t have the time to give to a relationship and he was making himself ill. He said he needed to spend time on his own doing things for himself. We were both upset by the way he felt and he said it wasn’t a decision he’d made lightly. He needs time to find what he wants from life rather than running around for other people. I agreed to respect his decision and I also said that I’d wait for him. He was shocked that I said I’d wait and said he’d like that but neither expected it or deserved it. So, I wait. We have remained friends as I say and do stay in contact. His reasons for ending what we had are genuine; I have no doubt about that.
After his last visit (today) I am left feeling angry, bitter and resentful of so many things/people. We were having a normal conversation and he said he was going fishing for a rest. I joked about Christmas being a time of peace and rest where he should have had his feet up. He laughed and listed all of the running around he’d done for other people, mainly his sister.
I feel that I am one of the few people who didn’t place demands upon him yet I am the one he has cut off. He desperately wants to settle down with a family of his own yet spends all of his time running around after his sister’s family. I don’t think he should choose favourites amongst his friends and family but I’m irritated that he’s cut off the one person who can give him what he truly wants. I feel he has made the initial decision to calm his life down correctly but gone about it in the wrong way. I’ve never sulked when he was busy, never placed demands or expectations on him and now I’m the one out in the cold.
I asked IC ‘what do I need to know about sharing my feelings with him’ I got 15.1>36 I have taken this as an indication to share my feelings but in a careful way.
LiSe speaks of give and take. Stating “It is an art, expressing oneself and at the same time not offending the other in any way. Giving him his honor, respecting his views, giving him the room to express himself as well.
Unity means also to stay free of black-white thinking. When something is true, it should mean it is life sustaining, but anything “true” which excludes something else being true, is a sign you are talking of very temporal, short living truths. This is not scientific? Just take a good look at science.”
This talks to me of expression whilst being mindful of other peoples views and opinions. I would be able to carefully word my feelings so they didn’t seem like an attack. However, I’m not sure what line 1 tells me. Am I the noble one or is he?
Line 1 - A noble one with very compatible give-and-take. Benefit of crossing the great river. Auspicious
Words are stronger than weapons if one seeks freedom and peace. Granting everyone his own life and honor means one's own life and honor will not be attacked. And the best remedy against war? – trading and exchanging goods and sports.
There is also a part of the translation (Sabian symbols for hexagram lines) from LiSe and I don’t know where it fits, where it comes from or what it aspires to. What are the Sabian symbols and how are they used in a reading?
Initial 6 corresponds to 13: An unsuccessful bomb explosion
Are there any successful ones?
This does not bode well for sharing my feelings and if Sabian symbols are relevant then I’ll keep my feelings to myself! Until I read that, I thought Id share my feelings with him but now I’m confused.
Hexagram 36 also seems to say be quiet so I’m getting conflicting ideas
To be what you really are, to live the life that belongs to you. That is what everybody wants, but most spoil it because they think it is enough to do just that. Open and impulsive they jump into life, only to find out that everything and everybody counteracts.
Hide your light, so nobody can blow it out. Be careful and modest in everything you do and show, not to evoke obstructions. Do not deny obstructive forces, explore them and recognize them, so you know what measures to take or how to circumvent them.
When the trees in an industrial region turned black from the smoke, the butterflies turned black too .. and survived.
Don’t be impulsive? Stay hidden in the background like the butterflies? Help!