How can I learn? 42.1.6 > 8

**precision grace** · February 24th, 2012, 12:46 AM

I received this hexagram twice - for unrelated questions (I thought) but on reflection..

Anyway, I had asked, the second time: How can I learn to recognise when something (situation/relation etc) is past it's sell by date so I can move on in good time?

answer 42.1.6. > 8

I asked this because I have a well recognised tendency to linger in a situation that is no longer viable. This happens in my jobs, my relationships (with partners or romantic interests), my relationship with friends, the ways I approach whatever and so on and so forth. It is a massive blind spot with me and it is a bit weird because I have not always been this way. I was the opposite - always leaving at the first sign of trouble. I guess I wanted to learn how not to do that and ended up at the opposite end of the spectrum.
so, there you have it, a bit of a background to frame the question.

Now, I don't understand this answer AT ALL. I mean, I have asked how to learn to recognise the signs that something is no longer sustainable so that I know it's time to move on, and got increase to holding together. The lines are a bit more illuminating, but only just. 42.1 is about making great movement without blame (what I am aiming for I suppose) but 42.6 is about selfishness (I think) and an unsteady character - someone who doesn't know their own mind - which I guess is what I am asking about. But where is the advice on how to overcome? Halp!

**lavalamp** · February 24th, 2012, 01:39 AM

How can I learn to recognize when ... "it's time to move on?"

42.1
By living for the sake of others.

41.6.
Rest before you move; think before you speak; serve others before you ask for anything; in this you will find true security. (This is Confucius's advice, for this line.)

> 8
Unite with what is good, (as opposed to always having to move on from what is not, I guess.)

HTH.

LL

**answeredquestions** · February 24th, 2012, 03:09 AM

Hi PG,

I have this problem as well and am trying to accept when to "bow out". It is great that you are self evaluating.

For this reading, maybe 8 is a picture of the situation. You are trying to told on to the relationship. To keep connected to something. Sometimes I do this in a struggle to understand what went wrong more clearly. Or sometimes I don't trust my instincts that the situation is wrong. I second guess myself in an attempt to fulfill an unattainable wish. A fantasy.

42, in general, is about sharing, giving, being generous etc. and also about being able to decipher when to do that. When to discern a good situation from a bad situation.
From Wilhelm's Image of 42:

Wind and thunder: the image of INCREASE.
Thus the superior man:
If he sees good, he imitates it;
If he has faults, he rids himself of them.

If a situation is 'good', then it is something you would want to continue interacting with. If a situation is where there are 'faults' (such as a relationship that is not working etc), then it is positive advice to recognize this and walk away or not surround yourself in the situation. In other words, you simply have to recognize what is good and what is not, and act upon recognition. 42 also seems to be painting a deeper picture of what your question is about. It really isn't telling you how to recognize but I think the lines might.

Because it is easy to stay connected to something that is good, and your question was how to recognize when to move on in good time, the line advice could be about how to recognize the negative situations.

Line 1 says to undertake something. Maybe this is a confidence boosting line saying, have confidence in your feelings to walk away once you realize something is not worth furthering. A lot of the commentaries for this line talk about making sure you have selfless motives. So maybe ask yourself why you are sticking around? This is just me, but I have been in situations where I know it is not going to work or progress, but my stubbornness, and sort of selfishness, motivates me to push on with it. Sort of in a secret wish for things to change to my liking, although I know deep down they will not.

Line 6 speaks of inconsistantly. Maybe that we know what to do, yet we do the selfish thing instead. The inconsistancy lying in the fact that what we 'know' and what we 'do' are two different things.

I really hope I haven't over stepped my bounds in this interpretation. I could be possibly way off the mark on this. I am seeing so much advice for myself in this reading that it is actually hard to have an outside view.

Take care,
AQ

**lavalamp** · February 24th, 2012, 03:34 AM

Well presumably it is good fortune that PG would like to move on to.
So in the context of fortune;

42.1 says:
"Great good fortune is produced by selflessness, and in bringing about great good fortune, he
remains free of reproach."
And as for 42.6, the previous advice I mentioned from Confucius refers to how to keep one's heart steady, and thereby avoid misfortune.

> 8 says Unity with others and taking care of them brings good fortune, and attending to developing our character; "sublimity, constancy, and perseverance." Leading others into Unity as well, in a timely manner.

By being what we are seeking, we don't even have to seek to know when to move I guess, we will be drawn to good fortune, or it will just happen.

**answeredquestions** · February 24th, 2012, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by lavalamp

Well presumably it is good fortune that PG would like to move on to.
So in the context of fortune;
....

Hi LL,

Good day to you. In this last post, are you speaking to me directly? It is not clear. I would think you would be speaking directly to the querent, but it does not seem to be this way, instead you seem to be speaking about her to someone. Is it me?

Take care,
AQ

**lavalamp** · February 24th, 2012, 02:32 PM

And everyone else in the class.

Musing, expanding on thoughts, it's process sometimes.

Call me "Al" - Pacino! ( "You talkin' to me?" )

**answeredquestions** · February 24th, 2012, 02:34 PM

**precision grace** · February 24th, 2012, 09:27 PM

Thank you both. I'm not sure I really get it still. Because I stick around Inspite of my selfish motives to move on. Because I have been told SO MANY times that I give up too easily and that I have to learn how to stick with something so that I now keep persisting with things thinking I am being too self absorbed to notice how it's a good thing and if I just stick with it it will eventually become a good thing but it never does and then it's years later and I am kicking myself and my self confidence and self belief had sunk even lower than before and then Finally, I say **** This and walk away and let the years pass and each day I am more and more grateful that I did walk away and beat myself up that I didn't do it sooner.

So really, the lines are not making any sense to me at all. :/ Sorry.

**answeredquestions** · February 24th, 2012, 09:42 PM

Well darn. If you come to any realizations with the reading, please post.

**precision grace** · February 25th, 2012, 12:41 AM

Well, I think I get the 8 - move towards the good and the 42.1 - selfless conduct, but 42.6 gives me a lot of trouble. I do understand its a line of an unsteady heart and as you say, the point is to steady the heart and from a steady heart you can know the right thing to do - be it to move away towards the good things that are new or stay a bit longer with present things which don't look so good but might turn out to be with some work. And maybe 42.6 is really about being selfish and Yi is telling me I am being selfish even when I think I'm not. I keep worrying about being taken advantage of and exploited, but a person with a steady heart cannot be taken advantage of or exploited! A bit of a chicken and egg situation this. How to steady the heart so that one can act unselfishly when in order to act unselfishly, one needs a steady heart?

how am I doing?

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