I have been suffering from depression for years (more than half of my life). Some periods are very bad, other times I can keep it under control.

2014 has been a depression-free year, I mean I didn't think about dying a single day. I was starting to think it was over, mental illness gone (I'm into therapy)

These days haven't been well, today it has been worse.

So I've asked: What's happening to me? 32.1.2.5>49
Don't know how to interpret it, I read something about habit.. So it's my old habit coming back?

Please give me a suggestion on how to have a good (healthy) head (brain): 33.6>31

At first I was puzzled. Since I have decided to die, I thought 33 meant dying. But I doubt the book would suggest me to kill myself. It must be against its principles.
Then I found this by HOPEX in the forum
33 line 6 is a beautiful exhortation to cash in your chips
and hang up your boots and go build your beautuful retreat
on the mountain top and mull over all that is beautiful and
worthy. Visitors may come and partake of the oasis of
peace if they wish. But to me it says it is honour yourself
and your life time. Write memoirs, indulge in your passions

I don't perfectly understand the "cash in your chips and hang up your boots" bit but I guess it's an invitation to stay a bit by myself?
Honour your life time. But if I don't want to live it's hard. Is it saying that by honouring my life I will be more interested in it probably.

Has this (depression come back) got something to do with food? 50.2.5>33
(that's because I have noticed a sort of relation.. Last year I had about 4 oranges and three lemons EVERY morning all winter + lots of smoothies of raw vegetables and fruit. While these two weeks I've been eating sugar sugar sugar, and sugar is known to cause blues..)

amazing

food = 50
and 33 again..

is it saying to avoid (retreat, 33) these foods?

Olga,

If you've had a depression free year after suffering from this condition for years - that is excellent news. I battled this condition for most of my teens and twenties. There were sporadic returns, but overall by using a variety of tools including certain modes of self-development, a good network of friends and most importantly imo, diet - I was able to beat it.

It seems our propensity for depression (or manic depression more commonly known as bi-polar disorder) seems to be partly genetic which suggests that for many it can be reoccurring. The good news is such repeat cycles have less and less power the more the brain's harmful "tracks" are healed. I guess the brain is only one part of the mind-body complex and is extraordinarily "plastic" in its ability to heal in concert with other "brains" in the body located in the heart and the gut especially. So, there is overall, many good reasons you can continue to control and eventually beat this thing. You've done very well to take the initiative in getting support and becoming aware of how your system operates. Well done!

What's happening to me? 32.1.2.5>49

Yi seems to be saying to stay with it, persist and trust yourself and what you have accomplished so far. Such a condition cannot be cured just like that. There is no free lunch. It is a slow but methodical process which can lead to a complete transformation or revolution of H.49. As 32.1 in the Wikiwing states: "You are trying to get out of a weak position too quickly." Ease up. Don't panic and stay on course. That means taking things day by day, step by step and adapting to what is going on NOW as line 2 recommends. Line 5 offers advice in working to achieve balance on this point and trust in your own journey. No extremes. If you need to share your feelings and write about it do so. Keep the middle ground and keep focussed.

I like LiSe's take on this for 33.6:

Above 9: Fertile retreat. There will be harvest.

"Only in retreat the spirit can find its inner riches. Places full of noise and people are never spiritually rich places, but even there one can stay rich if one can stay aloof inside. Sometimes it is necessary to leave a situation in order to find yourself back."

Click to expand...

So, this is a strategic retreat from contention and endless worry about everything. This will allow your healing to take root, to give you the time and space you need. It's an invitation to leave guilt, regret, shame about the situation behind. Keep as normal a routine as possible and be gentle with yourself, leaving negative thoughts behind as they surface. No easy task I know, but ideas of death have no place here when you just beginning to live.

Has this (depression come back) got something to do with food? 50.2.5>33

There's some interesting information on this point here:

http://www.foodforthebrain.org/nutrition-solutions/depression/about-depression.aspx

and here: http://www.drlwilson.com/articles/FRUIT.htm

Too much fruit can cause:

"Mental/emotional symptoms. These are very common and include anxiety, depression, irritability, and even panic attacks. We know this because when a person who is eating a lot of fruit and having any of these symptoms stops eating fruit, often these symptoms vanish within a few days to a few weeks. If a person has eaten fruit for a long time, symptoms may take longer to reverse."

Click to expand...

While moderate quantities of fruit is good for you, too much however (fructose) is not, especially if your particular genetic profile is sensitive to such things. Or in Doc Yi terms: too much yin over yang.

50.2.5 suggests you're on the right track with the highlighting of this problem - you just need some adjustments. Don't get carried away with fruit or other forms of sugar. Get some balance and moderation in your diet and your "Vessel" will have some strong sturdy handles to carry your new spirit. Note too that metal handles have associations with the intellectual or mental plane. So, line 5 is clearly suggesting that mental harmony can be yours if you address this issue and continue your routine.

Moderation is the key.

Good luck.

Thank you Topal!

With "bad diet" I actually meant no fruit and vegetables but merely chocolate, biscuits, bread, plain pasta, and junk food. Basically simple sugar which I know causes sadness and sleepness (last night I was also very very angry, I was mad!). I tend to think that a fruit based diet is good, fructose is not as bad as saccarose in my opinion.

But anyway we all agree that junk food is no good for our mental health.

I find it really funny when Yi replies like that: 50 for food!


I was wondering about that 33.. Retire from the battles of life. Could that also mean retire from trying to get a job in acting, move on to get an agency, move about I mean? Does that mean relax and stay home?

50 - save your bacon: could that mean "avoid meat"?

No.

When you look at the statistics for depression it does correlate with gender...I think women are 3 times more likely to get depression than men, there's other social factors, isolation, alienation. If you are a woman on a housing estate with no money, no status and 3 small kids and no one to talk to , regardless of what you eat, you are more likely to get depressed.

Well there are different kinds of depression. Some more situational, some as reaction to loss, some as more physically based tendencies...

Anyway I know vaguely that depression can be linked with low serotonin levels and serotonin levels drop apparently in low status monkeys.

With you, if I may be so bold, my perception is you very much identify with your status. In other threads you say you are a 'failed' actress. This is the kind of thinking that will make you depressed. It's skewed thinking.

BTW I'd say in my professional opinion you could use some cognitive behavioural therapy. That changes what you tell yourself about situations. For example instead of saying 'I am a failed actress' others might say 'I did some acting when I was younger, but now I have moved on to other things' and so on.

You are not what you do. You are valuable whether you have some flashy career or not....


33.6 it's okay to not be doing much right now. If you can accept that you will feel happier.

I don't believe food will have a major impact on your depression although of course a healthy diet will help you feel better generally.

I was wondering about that 33.. Retire from the battles of life. Could that also mean retire from trying to get a job in acting, move on to get an agency, move about I mean? Does that mean relax and stay home?

Click to expand...

Yes. Stop thinking about getting ahead and your status all the time. You identify with it so much, identify your value with whether you get work or not, you will get depressed if the world isn't responding.


We all must learn to go on at such times and to know we have value whether mrs flashy director pants wants to work with us or not.

I think also, as you said on other threads that you feel other's dislike you, you might find that when you stop pushing to 'be someone' all the time, you'll be able to connect better with others.

You can 'be someone' even when no one is looking. I feel you need some withdrawal time to understand your own intrinsic value.

Has this (depression come back) got something to do with food? 50.2.5>33

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I don't think so unless you eating total junk in which case that will make you feel more crap. However I think cooking and paying attention to your food is a very good way to get to the 33.6.

That is if you aren't questing after fame and acknowledgement your attention needs to turn in...One positive way of doing that is to give time to your food.

I think the right kind of diet is much, much more important than we currently believe, regardless of social status. That doesn't mean there are not equally important issues to consider. Diet is only one factor in a host of causes and effects which need to be addressed.

Consequently, the causes of depression and the amelioration of the condition can have a great deal to do with what we put into our systems over time (not just the obvious junk food) and if judged to be toxic to the body (which is at the very least, profoundly connected to our mind) this can mean a huge influence in our neurophysiology and the consequent equilibrium of the system as a whole.

There's a superb (but lengthy) article on this with special attention to the problem of inflammation called: "Depression: Physical or mental?"

However, as Trogina describes, there are variable forms of depression and basic psychological awareness/therapy is equally important to breaking these negative patterns of thinking which can literally reshape the brain. The longer these patterns go on, the harder they are to fix. So, I think a multi-faceted approach is needed.

So multi-facet away!

Interesting. This is the second time in two days that I heard/read that eating lots of fruit is bad for your health. The first time in my life was from a nutritionist on a radio talk program. She also claimed that vegetables should be cooked, that the body can not process them when eaten raw. I was like, Wwwuuuut?? I thought she must be a nut job or something since she contradicted everything I'd ever heard about fruits and vegetable, not to mention having radically altered my diet to try and eat more nourishing food, including lots more raw vegetables. But she repeated her warnings throughout the show.

And here this morning, I'm reading the same thing about fresh fruit. Synchronicity.

Well, yesterday I said to heck with worrying, and recklessly bought a basket of deep fried chicken with thick batter. I ate the entire thing yesterday, and today not only does my body feel poisoned, but my mind feels oily and battered (both definitions!), sluggish, and just blah. I can only imagine if I ate like that regularly. I definitely believe that our diet is critical to our mental state as well as our physical state, and find Topal's post timely.

Hallo, thank you to everyone
Today I feel much much better!

Unfortunately my depression is not status or situation related. It started when I was 10 years old.
In 2013 I was offered a job by one of the top European theatre directors yet I was more depressed than in 2014 when I had no job at all. It just comes and goes whenever it wants. I have noticed some food relation expecially simple sugar relation (chocolate, biscuits, crap food). I am currently in jungian analysis but feel it's not taking me anywhere really. It's a very interesting process, you understand a lot of yourself and of others, but at the end of the day it's always me. I guess it takes lots of time to change.

I shall try and eat healthy from today on

Interesting. This is the second time in two days that I heard/read that eating lots of fruit is bad for your health. The first time in my life was from a nutritionist on a radio talk program. She also claimed that vegetables should be cooked, that the body can not process them when eaten raw. I was like, Wwwuuuut?? I thought she must be a nut job or something since she contradicted everything I'd ever heard about fruits and vegetable, not to mention having radically altered my diet to try and eat more nourishing food, including lots more raw vegetables. But she repeated her warnings throughout the show.

And here this morning, I'm reading the same thing about fresh fruit. Synchronicity.

Click to expand...

No not synchronicity...just the latest fad among so called 'nutritionists' that are wrecking people's health more than they know. I knew a woman who was told her breakfast fruit was bad for her....so she stopped eating fruit for breakfast, then she made out she was allergic to more and more ordinary foods...until she had a full time job just to eat anything each day.

These 'nutritionists' are in part responsible for an epidemic of othorexia...https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/orthorexia-nervosa I think this woman became orthorexic and didn't even know.


They change their minds every 5 minutes, these nutrition experts. Frankly a common sense diet of fresh meat, fish , fruit and veg is all that is needed (with variations according to health issues etc.) I think the idea that too much fruit causes anxiety is wholly without foundation..There would be so many variables in what a person ate to say this

Too much fruit can cause:



"Mental/emotional symptoms. These are very common and include anxiety, depression, irritability, and even panic attacks. We know this because when a person who is eating a lot of fruit and having any of these symptoms stops eating fruit, often these symptoms vanish within a few days to a few weeks. If a person has eaten fruit for a long time, symptoms may take longer to reverse."

Click to expand...

...is not possible to assert with any confidence. People, especially with cancer, are advised to eat more veg than fruit just because fruit is very high in natural sugars...and they theorise sugars feed cancers, but geez I can't imagine it causes anxiety attacks.

People like attaching everything to food because they can control food...and then they think if they control food they can control what happens to them. It is often easier for people to change their diet than make the life changes that really need making.

........but you know the 'right food' changes every 5 minutes....and these so called 'nutritionists' are making big money where I live by telling people not to eat fruit and perfectly normal food. I've seen them do a lot of harm and get paid for it.

Sorry, I had an off topic rant. if you want to change your diet Olga good luck....just don't go to far or get obsessed and so on......

Trojina there is a lot of truth in what you say, and I myself have met people who are obsessed with what they eat to the point that they wouldn't eat vegetables cooked one hour earlier because they are oxidated.
And there are people that only eat fruit, and among them there are those that just eat one fruit a a time. Just melons for two months or just lemons for two months or just grapes..

But on the other hand we are like cars and food (and water and air) are our petrol so there must be a connection with what we breathe and eat and our life. And in my family I have noticed that those eating lots of meat and fatty things have had health problems earlier (in their 60s) than those eating a bit of everything but with moderation. My slim and skinny aunties have gone up in perfect health till their 90s, while fat ones got ill in their 60s, that's what I've noticed.

Anyway all this speech has made me hungry

I agree that trends change so quickly that it's difficult to keep up or know what's really good or bad for me any more. The one thing I do trust is listening to my own body, and my moods are also a good indicator of what is healthy or not for me. I've nearly cut red meat from my diet, and have replaced it with fish and unsalted nuts, cashews in particular. My body and mind approve, and that's good enough for me. No more of that fried and battered chicken; that decision I also trust. Love avocados and spring salad, and that won't change.

I don't believe it's nonsense to listen to ones own body and mind, nor to be informed with what nutritionist may have to say on the subject. Of course one doesn't have to follow fads, but neither does one need to completely ignore them. Balance and moderation is a good idea. And what we eat does affect our moods, without a doubt.