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Hurt 18>64

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goddessliss

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I'm a little offended that my friend asked another of our friends, who has very little time, to help her out with something instead of me who has plenty of time. The other friend is a lovely woman but it seems strange to me.

Why does she prefer M to help her out instead of me

Hex 18.3.4>64

I'm not aware of anything that needs fixing. I've been annoyed with her disregard for me at times but I worked that out with her and we spend lots of time together when we can and have lots of fun and laughs. A great friendship in my opinion.
 

steve

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The lines appear to be pointing to past events, is there anything in the past that may effect the decision she may have made? Maybe simply ask her and dont dwell as it can manifest itself.
Without going to deep that's what I am getting

Steve
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks for responding Steve. No nothing at all in the past. It's rare for her to ask anyone for help and when I have offered on the odd occasions she always says no.
 

Trojina

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I'm wondering if the 18.3.4>64 is addressing more the fact you feel hurt and how you feeling hurt is related to your own past experiences of rejection ?

The trouble is it's very easy, once you in that groove, to feel hurt when you've been hurt in the past. It's like your mind and emotions are pre set to the 'hurt' dial. But what if there are reasons for this that have nothing to do with rejection of you ? Might be something you don't know of, might be this other person has inside experience of this particular issue....might be anything.

All I can say to you is notice if the switch is going to 'hurt' setting sometimes when it needn't. I say this from my own experience. I'll sometimes feel hurt about something then see what happened had nothing to do with me. I'm not saying it's the case here but the 18 does make me think you are maybe still grappling hard with rejection demons so you might be seeing all your relationships through that filter.

Don't let it get to you, just hold to the fact you have a good friendship. Also space is good in friendship too. You need to feel free to go to who you want to don't you ? In 18 things fester through lack of air, doesn't Lise call it a 'can of worms'. Decaying stuff needs space and air and light. She also may be afraid of getting too dependent on you ?

As a more direct answer I think she may come to you yet, at a later stage. I see this in the 64. So don't spend any more time feeling hurt. You still have her friendship and what's more she may come to you with this further down the line.
 

Trojina

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...additional thought. You were looking for the 'why' in her, I saw it also possibly in you, then I wondered if you had done some work in some way on old rejection issues but hadn't finished what you started ?

That's what 18.3.4>64 looks like, unfinished work on dealing with old demons ?
 
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goddessliss

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Thank you Trojina you're right it's my rejection issues that are causing the hurt particularly of late but still I'd like to know why but unless I ask her I won't know and even then she may give a reason that may not be honest. I'm at the stage at present where I don't even want to try anymore. I feel like the last 6 years or more since the marriage end I've done my best with whatever circumstances I find myself in but still I feel I haven't progressed very far so what I perceive as rejection can upset me more than it should really.
 

Trojina

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I feel like the last 6 years or more since the marriage end I've done my best with whatever circumstances I find myself in but still I feel I haven't progressed very far so what I perceive as rejection can upset me more than it should really.

Yes you must be quite exhausted so many things have happened, so many changes. I think you need a good rest and a good dose of 'not caring' and patting yourself on the back for what you have done.

I guess you could ask her or would it just feel too awkward ? She might even have thought you needed less stress, might it be she didn't want to over burden you ? You have had recent health issues maybe that was on her mind ?
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks for saying that and it's only the other day that I realised just how fed I am with trying and not getting anywhere although at least I now have a place to live that I really like. Yes it's nearly Christmas so I will just take a break from striving.
I won't ask her because maybe there's no reason except she thought of her first and I've just taken it personally.
 
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goddessliss

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And yes at present lots of rejection moments have been happening so clearly it's time to do some personal work on that.
 
O

oceangirl

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An update - Our friendship ended abruptly without any words being said in June of this year.
 

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