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How deal w a man who has women friends (5) whom he writes and phones---& my needs?

JuliaF

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How deal w a man who has women friends (5) whom he writes and phones---& my needs?

Writes to friends, Beatrice twice a week,talks to Anna an hour regularly on phone, comment on his attention being so scattered and how do I deal w that and needing to be #1 priority in his life?

Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:

changing to
4 23
Hexagram 4, Not Knowing



Key Questions

What don’t you know?
What if you didn’t need to know all the answers now?
How can you learn from experience?

Oracle

‘Not knowing, creating success.
I do not seek the young ignoramus, the young ignoramus seeks me.
The first consultation speaks clearly.
The second and third pollute the waters,
Polluted, and hence not speaking.
Constancy bears fruit.’

Not Knowing literally means being covered over, like a young animal hidden away in the undergrowth by its mother. So you are ignorant, and cannot see as far as you would like to – but this is not such a terrible thing while you are still so small. To be small and ignorant is a creative, harmonious way to engage with your world, and holding steadily to not knowing – and hence to learning – will bring good results.

But this flow, from ‘creating success’ to ‘constancy bears fruit’, is interrupted when the young ignoramus goes running after answers, as if it were embarrassing not to know. In his anxious persistence he shows a profound disrespect – for his teacher, and also for the answer he is seeking that he imagines can be had so quickly. So the ‘I’ who speaks here gives one clear answer, and then may refuse to answer – or perhaps there is just such confusion that no answers can be understood.

That speaker can be another person you’re asking for a response you need. It can also be the oracle itself, or what speaks through it.

Image

‘Below the mountain, spring water comes forth: Not Knowing.
A noble one nourishes character with the fruits of action.’

Sequence

Not Knowing follows from Hexagram 3, Sprouting:
‘Things that are newly born must needs be ignorant, and so Not Knowing follows. Not Knowing means ignorance, and the youth of things.’

Changing Lines

Line 2

‘Embracing the ignoramus, good fortune.
Receiving the woman, good fortune.
The child governs the home.’


Hexagram 23, Stripping Away



Key Questions

What has worn out?
Is there a less painful way to let this go?
What is underneath the surface?

Oracle

‘Stripping away.
Fruitless to have a direction to go.’

The surfaces are cut and sliced away; the old and unviable is stripped back to expose the living core. This inevitable, natural process often feels like a flaying: the more you have invested of yourself in these old things, the more painful it will be.

It’s no good, at such times, to imagine the future and make plans. You need to bring your energy back to the centre and honour the process: this is a time to be transformed, not to act. Moreover, until the old is so utterly stripped from you that you have no choice but to think in new ways, you will only be able to re-create the old patterns.

Image

‘Mountain rests on the earth: Stripping Away.
The heights are generous, and there are tranquil homes below.’

Sequence

Stripping Away follows from Hexagram 22, Beauty:
‘Involved in brightening the appearance; this means success will be truly exhausted, and so Stripping Away follows.’

Pair

Stripping Away forms a pair with Hexagram 24, Returning:
‘Stripping away: rotten. Returning: turnaround.’
 
D

diamanda

Guest
Hi JuliahF,

Before I go on to your reading, I would like to make some recommendations on consulting the i ching, and posting your results here.

comment on his attention being so scattered and how do I deal w that and needing to be #1 priority in his life?
These are in fact three questions all in one.
Try to form one question at a time - the more confusing the question, the more confusing the answer.

Also, the format we all use here for i ching answers is:
first hexagram - fullstop - changing line(s) > resulting hexagram

In your reading this would be:
4.2 > 23
In your previous reading it would be:
20.1.4.6 > 17

Please write them like this if you can, and not copy/paste long text from the website.

So, to your reading.

comment on his attention being so scattered and how do I deal w that and needing to be #1 priority in his life?
4.2 > 23


The line describes an immature man.
He has control of the situation.
The situation collapses.

I believe this means that if you really let him act unchecked like this, it won't be to your benefit.
I've thought many times about this line - why the line is positive, but the result rubbish.
I came to the conclusion it's because the immature person has no support or anyone to 'teach' them.
So despite any good intentions, the person just can't handle having full control - they're not mature or clever enough.
 

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