Conflicting Hexagrams?

[cssslw]

Hello, everyone:
I just asked the I Ching, via this website, "What do I need to know or do now to facilitate Stacey (my estranged ex girlfriend) and I reuiniting romantically?"
Primary Hexagram: #41, with changing line 6.
Secondary Hexagram # 19. Any idea on how to understand and go with this advice? Thank you all in advance for your help.
Christopher

[jesed]

Hi

Be aware against false hopes... follow them would lead you to injuries (the 10 Wing says: "Darkness of the light means injury")

Very clear answer, just like when you got 2 unchanging. But, are you going to listen this time? or you would attach yourself to (false) hope interpretations? That is the important fact.

You had receive 2 unchanging, 36 unchanging, 19 unchanging.. now you got again 19 (as tendential).

Seems like you won't listen; What is the use to get an answer then?

[miakoda]

Christopher-

You've been asking the same question over and over again. It happens with the Yi Jing when something is wanted badly. It's easy to lose the meaning when your hopes are driving you.

It might be helpful to go back over all that you asked in the last weeks. Try writing down your questions and also what you understood your translation(s) to say. Reread the forum replies that you've received here. You could even print them out and read it before you ask again. What can you learn from that?

Then try Jesed's fabulous 3 questions: Please give me a general diagnosis (or overview) of my relationship with Stacey? What is her position? What is my position?

It sounds like a lot of work, but I think you'll find if you do that, you'll begin to develop some trust of the answers you've received. After, you'll be able to ask more informed questions for guidance on your approach to Stacey.

Best,

Miakoda

[cssslw]

Hi, All.
I appreciate everyone's input. However, perhaps I should clarify something. Let me state that I am not sitting around waiting for Stacey. I live a fun, exciting, successful life. I am dating several beautiful, bright women, one special girl in particular. I have an active social life, work is going very well (I am with an Ivy League teaching hospital), and I'm applying to medical school in 2008. Its not that I'm not listening to the I Ching. The simple fact is that I love Stacey very much, and I think its appropriate to check in with the I Ching every once in a while and see if there has been a shift to the positive. I'm simply keeping my ear to ground and my options open. And the Hexagrams did seem contradictory to me. I'm a novice, so that's why I asked all of you good people what you thought.
Christopher

[listener]

41.6 says now might be the time to increase your efforts, maybe the shift you are looking for. It is the Book of CHANGES after all

[bruce_g]

Hi Christopher,

Suppose you are a practicing physician, and your patient has a condition which requires that they drink lots of fluid, and they also have a condition where fluid retention is a problem. So, on one hand you tell them to drink more water, and also prescribe a diuretic to leech and expel water from their system. Wouldn’t that be called a contradiction?

It is the same when receiving advise from the Ching. A simple yes/no or “do this” doesn’t always work. Your condition is also complicated. There’s the you inside, the you outside, there is her inside and her outside, there are careers and personal ambitions, mixtures of feelings and facts, all which mandate the importance of maintaining a stable orbit and healthy physical, mental and emotional condition.

It appears to me you’re engaged in a bit of chasing your own tail. That’s not intended as me wagging my finger at you, it’s just how it looks to me from here. I’ve followed your threads and the responses you’ve received. They were good responses, and there’s not much I could add to them; and if I did, would you give them due consideration or throw more coins for a different answer?

Take command of your own troops, return to yourself, and stay open to what life brings your way. If you approach her in this way, she will be open to you.

[sparhawk]

Take command of your own troops, return to yourself, and stay open to what life brings your way. If you approach her in this way, she will be open to you.

And then again, there's always that option, at times painful, at times liberating: Moving on and crossing that relationship out of your book... She appears to have done so.

L

[dobro]

"What do I need to know or do now to facilitate Stacey (my estranged ex girlfriend) and I reuiniting romantically?"

Primary Hexagram: #41, with changing line 6.

Hi Christopher: I've been doing readings for people on this site for two or three years now. In that time, I've tried different approaches with people in my attempt to make the Yi more useful to them, none of which have been particularly effective, I think. But reading this thread that you started, I've decided on a new approach.

You know, when I read your original question and what you drew (41.6), I was pretty much in the dark. I mean, I could have said something like this: "Hex 41 is about making a sacrifice of some sort, and by giving something up, you experience a positive effect in your life, and so applied to your question it means something like: "You're going to have to make a special sacrifice in order to reunite with Stacey." In other words, a really general question gets a really general reading.

But after reading the post where you elaborated on your situation, I feel like I've got a *lot* more to work with. You said:

"However, perhaps I should clarify something. Let me state that I am not sitting around waiting for Stacey. I live a fun, exciting, successful life. I am dating several beautiful, bright women, one special girl in particular. I have an active social life, work is going very well (I am with an Ivy League teaching hospital), and I'm applying to medical school in 2008. Its not that I'm not listening to the I Ching. The simple fact is that I love Stacey very much, and I think its appropriate to check in with the I Ching every once in a while and see if there has been a shift to the positive. I'm simply keeping my ear to ground and my options open."

Okay, summarising what you said into *my* vernacular, it reads something like this: "Hey, I'm no loser, I'm doing fine. I don't *need* her. But I *want* her."

Okay, so here's my reading: sacrifice that attitude about the situation, sacrifice that valuation about your situation and your life - the valuation that there's nothing wrong with it and that you've got everything anybody could ever want - sacrifice that 'I'm alright, Jack' defense. The Yi says that it only *looks* like a sacrifice, but actually you'll be augmented by it. It won't get you what you want, but it'll get you to first base. It's like a test. Do you want her enough to give up the comfort zone of what you've got? See, if I was Stacey, I'd be impressed if you stopped dating 'several beautiful, bright women' because you wanted me and nobody but me. I mean, come on. Valentine's Day soon, right? How much do you want the girl? Enough to make a sacrifice? I have no idea, but I don't need to know. You do. Cuz from where I'm sitting, you look like one of two guys: either you're in love with Stacey and all that 'shining career path/bright social life' stuff is just wallpaper over an aching heart, or you don't deserve her cuz you're spending yourself on other people and things when you should be letting her know how you feel. I don't want to know which it is. But you need to know. *Need*.

[trojan]

What if Stacey really doesn't want this relationship and theres nothing you can do about it. Then you have to sacrifice that desire to be with her. Seems to me there comes a point where you have to respect someones wishes to leave them be.

I don't think I agree with responses here that encourage csssiw to pursue even more - what if the poor womans had enough ? What if she doesn't want to be 'open' to him, what if she just want to be left in peace.

I don't see what this has to do with being a 'loser' or not, or even csssiws 'need'. It has to do with learning to respect someones wishes. Dobro you speak as if this were all about Csssiw, but there is another person involved with a will of her own and seems to me her will is not to be with Csssiw.

I saw a TV programme last night on 'erotomania' . What was worrying was that one woman who had been hounding her female therapist for 8 years after a two therapy sessions with her. She kept writing her letters. One letter said something like "the I Ching says you want to be with me but there is something in your way" . This therapist had lived in fear for years and had to move 500 miles away.

Now theres no way I'm implying this is the case with cssslw, but I reckon theres many people holding up relationships that are as dead as a dodo through what they believe the Yi is telling them.

BTW I think that happens here more often than we think, querants changing names and coming back with exactly the same questions, getting a fresh set of responses and so on and so on - just a hunch.

[lightangel]

Very well said, Trojan. The Yi should not be a substitute for common sense or real life. Asking the same questions over and over, believing what you want to believe even when there is evidence to the contrary... it all amounts to mental mast*.. I mean aimless mental exercise