Lu Treading

[jwrig04]

My first post!

I asked if my ex would return to me. I broke off the relationship because at the time, I decided that my ex was not up to scratch. I was also stressed about other things aside from him. I was brutally honest about his flaws and now he has practically disappeared. Now I wonder if one should accept warts and all. I got :

10. Lu Treading with moving lines in:

2nd: Treading a smooth, level course
3rd: A one-eyed man is able to see, A lame man is able to tread.He treads on the tail of the tiger.The tiger bites the man.Misfortune.
4th: He treads on the tail of the tiger. Caution and circumspection Lead ultimately to good fortune.

leading to 37:The family.

The Iching has been very kind to me and I can usually understand what it is trying to tell me, but this one is difficult and I dont want to biasedly assume and get it wrong. I think it is saying that my ex is staying away from me now because life is easier that way, that for me to tell him what I thought, is like the know it all leading the one who thinks they can do it all. But well I dont know. I would bless any objective views on this. I'm also confused about the family one afterwards

[willowfox]

Line 10.2 says not to get carried away by your enthusiasm here, in actual fact it advises you to stay as you are and not get involved with him, stay independent and free.

Line 10.3 says you are plainly not seeing the situation clearly, and you will certainly have trouble if you go ahead and reconnect with this guy.

Line 10.4 says to be extremely cautious and sensible about this idea, you need to know a lot more about the situation before you can make any kind of move, you seem to be very unprepared for what will happen.

Hex 37 says your responsibility lies at home and with those who are currently close to you.

[jwrig04]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond.

You were infact spot on. My eyes are open and your objective view gave me the wakeup call I required. How can I learn to be as good as you?

10.2 we had broken up a few times, so i got carried away that we would get back together. I got carried away with the idea of him and not my needs.

10.3 I am not seeing the whole situation (see background below) and just looking to how I feel being without him, instead if how I felt with him

10:4 I think there is more. I am at risk of humiliating myself. I dreamt last night he had met someone else. A certain kind of my dreams are usually intuitive to the extent that I can rely on them. This dream was of that kind.

A good friend of mine asked some questions last night that got me thinking really hard -like why did I finish him - and the true reasons were that he was not the person I thought he was. It was infact hard hitting which i didn't want to admit, I should have left long before.

The Background:
For the first 8 months that we met, he (C) said and did all the right things. I made clear I wanted to be with someone that was healthy and took care of themselves and wanted to move forward in life. C became this, unbeknowing to me that this was not really him. I decided to go by his actions and words at the time - I should have consutled Iching, but I didnt know of this wonderful site at the time. Meanwhile C maintained the good part:

C didnt smoke, he played tennis, he was solvent, he enjoyed his work he had a good home and family life etc.. C was kind and generous and very gentleman etc... Seemed a real indivdual. very funny and made a joke about everything.

Although, when we had met, I made clear that smoking weed was not my path and C told me he was only an occasional smoker. I accepted this because I think anything is ok if it doesnt spill out into other areas of your life in a negative way.

Yet 8 months later, one by one I see that he started smoking cigs and weed and a bottle of wine, every night, almost as if to blot out his life. Infact realistically, there is not a day I didnt see him have at least 2 glasses of wine. Ever. He became depressed and told me it was all to do with work which was hard. He left his position and found another and within 3 months he made the exactly the same complaints as the first (the directors dont know what they are doing, they dont provide me with the support...its very hard etc)

It also emerged he had a HUGE amount of debt. I assited him with a budget, (I am an adviser professionally) he realised his outgoings where more than his ingoings. He had to rent out his home and move into sharing with a friend so he could pay his mortgage- the only times we went out or on holiday after this was courtesy of me. He smoked weed but couldnt afford to and when he was high, he had a habit of checking things and worrying far more than is normal (OCD).

I supported him emotionally, and financially and any other way. Meanwhile, I work, volunteer and study a degree in the evenings, my life is very hectic. Making time for anyone in my life involves a lot of effort. C sought my support everyday, whilst I was at work, when I was trying to study. he became very needy. I loved him by this stage and just wanted him to be ok and forgot about my needs. I was waring down slowly and became ill a few times, but C was never around to support me, he told me it was best to stay away because if he was ill, he would have to take time off work which he couldnt afford. Me being me accepted and understood.

There is more, but bringing this back to you interpretation:
Right now, I need to stay at home to study for my exam in 2 weeks. This is Hex 37 and family. I also should be with supportive family and friends who care about me and had sensed all of the above anyway.

Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Its tough and sad but its liberating

[jwrig04]

Oh and I did ask about my dream and if I could assume he had met someone else and I got:
Hex 8 Holding together/Union
8.5 -
8.6
leading to 23 -splitting apart

[willowfox]

Oh and I did ask about my dream and if I could assume he had met someone else and I got:
Hex 8 Holding together/Union
8.5 -
8.6
leading to 23 -splitting apart

It certainly doesn't look like it, I doubt if he is capable.

[jwrig04]

I asked a closure question and I got 52.1 > 22.

Does this mean, keep still and contemplate the ending of my relationship, before I concretely decide to move on?

[willowfox]

I asked a closure question and I got 52.1 > 22.

Yes, this line is telling you to stay still and see the situation as it truly is then you will work out what to do.
Hex 22 is telling you that you have no influence in the affair at the moment, and that you will just have to accept it, you have to show the way by example.

[jwrig04]

Thank you for all of your help Willowfox

[jwrig04]

I thought deeply about the relationship and why I should find myself attracting this sort of relationship. I came the full circle, I understood that my way of doing things was not perfect either and I am not an example to lead by for I can be guilty of not doing what I should too: In trying to support him, I fed his negative emotions. I could have led by example and spent more time on things I needed to get on with. So I asked Iching

What is it I need to think about regarding our situation now?

I was guided 52.5 changing to 53
Same again almost, so although there is a lot to say on my part to acknowledge my mistakes, it should be left unsaid. Stillness of the jaw, and I now need to, as you say Willowfox, lead by example -get on with what I need to.