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Thread: Tell now or tell later? 62.4 and 25.5>21

  1. #1
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    Thumbs down Tell now or tell later? 62.4 and 25.5>21

    I have a complex situation. I have been living in two countries (my homeland for 3 mos each winter, where I will be for 1 more month) and a foreign company.

    I was laid off this week but have to fly back to the other country next month to get my things and move out completely.

    Because of tensions at home, I have been wary of passing this information to my hosts (who are my parents) soon for a number of self-protective and freedom-related reasons.

    I asked the Yi, what if i tell them tonight? It showed me 62.4.

    What if i tell them next Wednesday? 25.5 and 21.

    My friends say I cannot/should not keep this from my parents (I'm a grownup though!) and yet I know that spilling the beans is going to open an ongoing discussion about why it happened, how it happened, where will I stay, what will I do, where will my things go, when will i find a new job etc. (my parents dont "process" things quickly). If i wait a few weeks to tell them (share the news after I can finish some immediate projects) i will feel a bit safer.

    Am I correct that both readings essentially say "wait"?

  2. #2
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    Hi Elizabeth,
    It sounds to me like it's not exactly the timing that is important here, but the
    manner in which you tell them. These developments are certainly not your fault,
    so perhaps if you explain this to your parents they will understand? Redundancies
    are everywhere around us, in the current financial climate after all. Perhaps a
    better question to ask would be 'what is the best manner to explain this to them'
    or something like that?

  3. #3
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    Hi Diamanda,
    Thanks for your reply. Hmm. I had not thought it was an issue of delivery, but that makes sense. I've been so tied up in knots about what will come of telling them that I haven't thought about HOW to do it... only when. I will ask the Yi again and see what it comes up with. THanks :-)
    +++

    OK I asked "in what manner should I tell my parents about being laid off."
    The Yi answered Hex. 32.2 Duration > 62 Preponderance of the Small

    For 32: The Judgement -- Duration. Success. No blame. Perseverance furthers. It furthers one to have somewhere to go.

    The Image --Thunder and wind: the image of Duration. Thus the superior man stands firm And does not change his direction.

    Line 2: Remorse disappears.

    For 62: 62. Hsiao Kuo / Preponderance of the Small
    above Chκn The Arousing, Thunder
    below Kκn Keeping Still, Mountain

    The Judgement -- Preponderance of the Small. Success. Perseverance furthers. Small things may be done; great things should not be done. The flying bird brings the message: It is not well to strive upward,
    It is well to remain below. Great good fortune.

    The Image -- Thunder on the mountain: The image of Preponderance of the Small. Thus in his conduct the superior man gives preponderance to reverence. In bereavement he gives preponderance to grief.
    In his expenditures he gives preponderance to thrift.

    ---From 32 I gather the message to be smthing like "Just say it and be firm. and you won't regret it" (?)

    For 62 though... It doesnt sound good to me. Being "Small" (humble)...how else can you say something like this aside from in a totally apologetic ("i am worthless") tone?
    Last edited by elizabeth; February 14th, 2009 at 06:52 PM.

  4. #4
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    Default No, don't say it yet

    You first asked "Tonight"? and the Yi answered 62.4, which absolutely said, "Do not act. One must be on guard."

    You also asked "Next Wednesday?" and the Yi answered 25.5>21. This says, "With reference to your bring up this issue, it may bring about an illness."

    Now, why would that be so? Because, if you told them in your present state of mind, the Yi predicts that you would actually fall ill for a short period of time from the stressful emotionality of the disclosure. Wait until all the feelings have completely settled down. When you yourself are calmer, you will be unaffected by the emotional reactions your parents will certainly experience following your disclosure.

    You asked about how to deliver the message and it's interesting, because it's like going back a step or taking a step back to the time before you asked your first question.

    The Yi answered: 32.2, which means, Find the middle way. If you avoid excess, guilt disappears.

    62 just means: "Don't rock the boat." Lie low. This is a time of transition. Don't forget, in the press of events, to take care of all the little things you need to take care of, especially the financial details.

  5. #5
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    Hi Barbra,
    Well this is certainly an interesting reading! I didn't expect it to be as big a deal, but the Yi is confirming my gut feelings to wait. Which is good, since everyone else cannot understand why I didn't run home and tell my parents immediately.

    The Yi answered: 32.2, which means, Find the middle way. If you avoid excess, guilt disappears.

    62 just means: "Don't rock the boat." Lie low. This is a time of transition. Don't forget, in the press of events, to take care of all the little things you need to take care of, especially the financial details.
    The middle way, avoid excess. I can only think of emotion as excess -- I can control my own, especially if I wait out one more week. That allows me to get ahead on some projects. But there are some financial things I have to take care of soon and I need to discuss some of those with my parents, which is why I can't let this go as long as I would like. (I actually considered waiting until I was on the plane to tell them! Practically speaking I dont know i can do it)

    Don't rock the boat = don't tell them. I wonder for how *long*. I asked about next Thursday, and the Yi gave me Hex 41 Sun/Decrease. Twice, unchanging (No changing lines).

    41. The Judgement --Decrease combined with sincerity Brings about supreme good fortune Without blame. One may be persevering in this. It furthers one to undertake something. How is this to be carried out? One may use two small bowls for the sacrifice.

    The Image -- At the foot of the mountain, the lake: The image of Decrease. Thus the superior man controls his anger And restrains his instincts.

    __

    Another site suggests that the two small bowls means you should use whatever is at hand. "At times it is right to decrease the strong and increase the weak. Decrease and increase, filling and emptying; there is an appointed time for each." huh.
    Last edited by elizabeth; February 14th, 2009 at 08:42 PM.

  6. #6
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    Default Dead loss

    In this case, I take hexagram 41 with no changing lines to mean: "Whatever you were thinking of doing, decrease your involvement." In other words, don't say anything. "Restraining your instincts" means restraining your impulses to tell your parents what's been happening with you.

  7. #7
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    Wow. Thanks Barbra. The Yi never ceases to amaze me. I have yet to receive a "wrong" reading, so I'm going to go by this. It makes perfect sense and confirms what I was thinking/feeling originally.

    In reevaluating, I can wait until I get on the plane. Or until right before or just after I leave the country. It would at least ensure peace and productivity here until then, and i've got another 3 weeks to go.

  8. #8
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    ANother question on this thread. I asked about specific dates and the Yi seemed to say YES to March 1 (Sunday) andyes to the following Wednesday but no to the Monday-Tuesday in between. I"m not sure why, but there must be a reason for that.

    I asked about the Friday then, the 27th. (ie. Come "home from work" and break the "news"). It gave me the following:

    58.1.2.4.5 and hex 2

    Those lines are:
    1: Contented joyousness. Good fortune.
    2: Sincere joyousness. Good fortune. Remorse disappears.
    4: Joyousness that is weighed is not at peace. After ridding himself of mistakes a man has joy.
    5: Sincerity toward disintegrating influences is dangerous.

    1 and 2 look fine. 4 seems to suggest once I tell them I will feel better. I'm not sure what line 5 means. The disintegrating influence, what would that be?

  9. #9
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    Hi again Elizabeth!

    In what manner to tell them - 32:2>62
    Continue as you are, the middle way, regrets pass, and lay low.
    I read this to mean tell them in a very modest and plain way.
    It's a bad situation to be in, so tell them, and lay low, stay in nest.
    Make them realise that you're in need.
    62 is not bad per se. 62 means lay low when there's a storm outside.

    And very similar for 41. "Decrease combined with sincerity".
    Sharing two small bowls. They are your parents, and they are human
    beings as well. One would think that they are capable of understanding
    "times of need and bad luck". Surely they've been through bad needy
    times themselves..? And of course they'll care about you more since
    you are their child? Any nice person would help out someone in need,
    so much more for parents to care for their own child, when their child
    is in times of need, right?

    Not sure about your 'specific dates' of telling them. If i was your
    parents, and you told me last minute and then ran away, i'd feel a
    bit offended, a bit like a stranger, a bit like an enemy - how would
    you expect them to then help you if you behaved like a stranger to
    them? You seem to expect a deluge of abuse from them - surely they
    can understand it was not your fault..? I still get the feeling that the
    "wait" signals from the yi are exactly because you approach the whole
    situation from this position of 'scared child' (sort of) when confronted
    with authoritative parents. The way the answers sound to me is to
    realise your own adult power in this situation, and also not to
    underestimate their goodwill towards you. Then act without regret.
    It sounds to me like they will help you out.

    Wishing you all the best!
    Last edited by diamanda; February 23rd, 2009 at 02:09 AM.

  10. #10
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    Hi Diamanda,

    I still get the feeling that the "wait" signals from the yi are exactly because you approach the whole situation from this position of 'scared child' (sort of) when confronted with authoritative parents. The way the answers sound to me is to realise your own adult power in this situation, and also not to underestimate their goodwill towards you. Then act without regret.
    It sounds to me like they will help you out.
    I hope you're right, but I am preparing myself for the worst!

    It's possible they'll be understanding. But more likely they will be controlling and give me ultimatums. As soon as I'm not dependent (ie "in need") they feel they have a right to control where I am, what I do, how i end up. That's where these questions are coming from. If i didn't think that reaction would occur, I would have told them by now.

    They will not know I was withholding anything from them, when I come home and say the news. There's no way I would say "This happened three weeks ago." No way. I walk in, and tell them as if it happened today.

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