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What is the right thing to do with this relationship? 53.2.5.6>46

chucklesthegirl

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Hi all,

I asked Yi what the right thing to do with this relationship is and received 53.2.5.6>46 as my response.

It sounds like I should let it progress and continue on it own organic path and that things are going well.
Looks positive overall but I wanted to double check and see if I am missing something in my interpretation....like a check your homework with the teacher kind of query.

I am still learning how to piece the hexagrams and lines together to form a cohesive message.

Any input will be appreciated.

Thank you!

Namaste
:bows:
 

willowfox

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Be friendly, don't rush and let progress happen in its own sweet time.
 

chucklesthegirl

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Thank you, Willow Fox! Sorry it has taken me a couple of days to respond. Been tied up with work and household stuff.

I will definitely take your advice to heart.

Namaste
:bows:
 

ginnie

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This relationship takes a long time to develop to its full potential.

53.2 > 57. You're really in quite a secure position.

53.5 > 52. Full development will take a long time, but eventually you will almost certainly get what you want.

53.6 > 39. This stage of the relationship does not allow disorder. You will be setting an example for others. I understand this to mean that you'll have learned how to manage all conflicts and troubles that arise in a most exemplary manner.
 

chucklesthegirl

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Thank you, Ginnie!

I needed to hear those positive words. I usually get discouraged by things that take a bit longer to develop so this reading really helped bolster my ability to be patient and let things happen organically.

Thank you for showing me the related hexes for each line. I still am not sure how to do the related lines properly. Is that what is meant by Fan Yao?

Namaste
:bows:
 

ginnie

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When only one line is moving, then the relating hexagram is the only one that adds meaning to the moving line.

But when a number of lines are moving, it can be quite useful to take a look at the hexagram that is formed when each line changes, one at a time.

It is thought that the changes will occur from the bottom up, and sometimes there is space and time between the various events involved.

So, there can be steps and stages when there are numerous moving lines.

Sometimes it can be difficult to assess where you are in that time sequence, but with a little bit of thought we can usually figure this out well enough.

In your posting, for example, I think you are probably at the state of 53.2. Please know that if you hang in there, all you wish for will come to you eventually, but it isn't going to happen instantly.

As for Fan Yao interpretation, I've never been instructed in this myself. Maybe someone who is better informed on that subject could just jump in here and clarify that . . .
 

chucklesthegirl

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Thank you. I am trying to keep a positive outlook on this relationship, but it has been an up and down process with lots of waiting. The guy I am seeing (we are not officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet) has days where he seems so indifferent to me and it feels like I am having to work hard just to try to keep whatever it is that we have going.

To make matters worse, it is a long distance relationship and even though we are going to spend time together soon, it's just so frustrating.

This reading and your and Willow Fox's interpretation gave me some hope that maybe it was not all in vain. Thank you so much!

Namaste
:bows:
 

ginnie

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we are going to spend time together soon

Put all uncertainty and doubts aside, be your sunny self, and all will go very well.

A hexagram 53 relationship always takes a long time to develop. You cannot really rush this, so just be happy in the meanwhile. :)
 

chucklesthegirl

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Thank you! I will try my best to relax and go with the flow and have a sweet sunny disposition when I visit him.

Namaste
:):)
 

kinglylife1

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The 2nd line stressed talks about a situation where perhaps you are experiencing some success. The general theme of the line talks about sharing. For example, when most people get a new job, they are happy and excited about the progress and desire to share in their success with others, unless of course they are in some way emotionally disturbed. Sometimes people lose sight of this. We work hard, become educated experience gain in our careers etc. for the sake of improving how we relate to others, what we offer others, how we deal with others, but then we forget that is the goal. The goal is to work with someone, to colaborate and to share, because it is finding that unity, establishing that unity on earth as it is in heaven that is what life is all about. Why is this perspective so deeply profound? Many people enter relationships for companionship, help, sex and money and whatever other perverse reasons they can enter a relationship. That's not what relationships are for. They are divine institutions, and I mean all kinds of relationships, where we should be seeking to grow and develop spiritually. We should be seeking to work together to become Love Personified and less conditioned gradually. No sweeping changes can be expected. So be happy for the opportunity to come together for the correct reasons. Not just depending on the situation to make you happy. If we lose sight of that purpose, when the relationship ends, where is the joy?

The 5th line is interesting in that it speaks of a misunderstanding. It's funny that in the 2nd line, we have to be mindful of the purpose of relationship, because in the 5th line, we find an isolation based on misunderstanding or misjudgment. This means that someone is being isolated at this stage of development based on a misunderstanding. It is the superior person who understands the purpose of relationship that is being misunderstood by a person who has not expanded their awareness and understanding of the topic. The one with the superior insight is the person being misunderstood. This is reminiscent of the Archie Bunker philosophy on life. I don't know who the superior person is within your situation, but perhaps there is a third party involved or at least there are present some incorrect beliefs which is almost certain. I say that because the misunderstanding comes from a deceitful influence on the situation. It's not deceit in the sense that those who are deceiving are necessarily trying to or not trying to deceive. The deceitful influence has come from meddling which is simply the result of ignorance. The result, however, is that the relationship will remain sterile and nothing is accomplished. But in the course of development, the misunderstandings are cleared away and reconcilliation is achieved after all. This happens because there is a superior insight available and there exists a seed of being able to find a way of removing the misunderstanding. The superior person will be able to find a way of clearing up the misunderstandings. I don't know if you are into meditating, but you'd be wise to make it a daily practice as well as prayer where you ask the universe's benevolent spirits to work on your behalf in this situation. Perservering in that way will turn the tide. It will require discipline and strong will to not give up on the situation in your heart. I liken this to using the counsel of the 57th hexagram, The Gentle, to act on your behalf. We can't always maintain our influence through direct means. We have to engage able helpers. ;-)

The 6th line, of course, is the great accomplishment that comes from having followed the counself of the 5th line. This is very different than the progression of the 46th hexagram where at the top line we see disaster from having pushed too far. In this hexagram, because we have adhered to the principle of gradual progress, we reach the heights and have cause to celebrate and be cheerful for having persevered in doing things correctly. In the 46th hexagram, the culmination of the pushing upward is experienced at the 4th line where a minister takes you to the temple and performs ceremonies and rituals on your behalf etc. In the 53rd hexagram, you are the ritual.

The 53rd hexagram deals more with your growth whereas the 46th hexagram deals with your advancement through something. The 53rd is you becoming your true self and who is that? A manifestation of God who can be what he/she needs to be to have success within the situation so remember that because the hexagram changes into the 46th where you have to remember that the pushing cannot go to far, but must be checked through being correct and firm in what is right... The 4th line!

Be blessed!
 

chucklesthegirl

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Wow, thank you for taking me through each line and how it related to the corresponding hexagram!

I do practice meditation and prayer, although sporadically. I will see what I can do to set aside a few minutes each day for meditation and prayer. Been meaning to do that for a while now to clear my mind a bit. Helps ease the stress and quiets my mind.

I wonder how I can tell who is the person holding the misunderstanding in this situation> Maybe if I feel isolated then I am the one being misunderstood?

Gives me something to think about.

Namaste!
:bows:
 

ginnie

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I wonder how I can tell who is the person holding the misunderstanding in this situation> Maybe if I feel isolated then I am the one being misunderstood?

It's not a matter of deception or anything like that . . .

Hexagram 53 describes a relationship between a mature woman -- the big sister type --, and a younger man, who may be somewhat immature.

She sees him as needing her help and protection, almost as if she were his mother. For example, she may disapprove of him speaking or acting like a silly boy sometimes.

He needs to grow up quite a bit before he can fully appreciate her good qualities.

So they both have to go through a long process of getting to know and appreciate each other, because they are truly opposites.

If they stay interested in each other, then they move from one step to another in the progression of this relationship. And a hexagram 53 relationship can be very enduring. :) In fact, I think it is the most enduring of all the types of relationships described in the I Ching.
 

chucklesthegirl

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Wow, you just hit the nail on the head. That pretty much describes the situation perfectly....the big sister younger man type of dynamic. He is a few years younger than me and still acts like he is in his early 20's, while I am a mom and more focused on goals and things.

Right now we are hardly talking to each other which is weird because we usually talk everyday practically all day through instant messenger and text. I am trying not to take it personally but I am not feeling so positive about this. Kind of wondering what's going on there.

I purchased the travel fare to go see him and he is just not there. And if he is around, he doesn't say anything to me. I try to keep the conversation going and all I get is a "yeah" or a "nah" or a "haha" in response.
I asked him what was going on, if he was busy catching up on a lot of work and all he said was, "Kinda".

*rolls eyes*

Still wondering if this is something I really want to spend anymore of my time on. That's why I did this reading in the first place, to see if maybe I could get a better perspective on what was going on.

Earlier today I told him I was beginning to feel ignored and that was not good....no response.

Maybe this is just a situation where I have to disregard the annoying trivial habits and focus on the positive stuff. Or if I can't do that just drop the matter entirely and move on.

I would do another reading but I am kind of wanting to wait a bit to see what happens in the next few weeks before I ask more questions.
 

ginnie

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I try to keep the conversation going and all I get is a "yeah" or a "nah" or a "haha" in response.
I asked him what was going on, if he was busy catching up on a lot of work and all he said was, "Kinda".

Does he become tongue-tied when speaking with you?

It might take a long time for him to learn how to communicate better, Chuckles. And volumes have been written on how men and women do not communicate the same way at all. It's a complex problem and one that might take years to resolve.

He might never communicate the way you wish he would.

Do you absolutely need a man who is a good communicator? For a lot of men, communication is not their strong point.
 

chucklesthegirl

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I think I just lost my cool yesterday and blew things out of proportion. This is really how all relationships are, whether they be romantic, platonic, familial or work related. They ebb and flow.
He's on the shy side and I think he hides a lot of his feelings and thoughts as a protective reflex.
Makes communication difficult at times but it also endears him to me.
I feel protective towards him because of that.

Ugh. Life happens and I short circuited a bit. No, I don't need a man of great words. Actions speak louder than words, IMO. I have been with several guys who were great with words but when it came down to it, there was nothing behind the words. Just empty talk.

I really care about this man. What I like about him most is that he is free of artifice, he is very sweet and honest. The other stuff I brought up yesterday is just minor in comparison.

Probably should find a way to keep my head on straight when things seem "dark" or when my perceptions are distorted. Otherwise, I will screw this up and I don't want that to happen. If this is going to be a long process and one that requires patience, then I need to learn to flow with the dao instead of trying to have the dao flow with me in the direction I see fit.

Thank you, Ginnie.
Namaste!
 

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