Hi everyone,
I'm sharing this one mostly because I found it curious, but of course I would also like to read your opinions.

I've been away in a sort of a retreat for a week now, where I am alone, don't really see anyone, so I end up "talking" to the Y more often than usual. In the last week I asked an average of 2 questions per day - and they were all unchanging answers.
Well, as a beginner, I happen to be pretty bad with answers with no lines. I rarely get anything out of it.

I was mildly depressed about things when I got here one week ago, but I see now I only grew worse with the days. This morning I woke up very anxious, disturbed, even aching, and I couldn't calm myself down. So i asked the Y,

What is going on with me?
22 unchanging.

I admit when I read it it felt like a bad joke. This phase seems like everything except Genuine Beauty.
Throughout the day I read carefully different translations and also older posts here on the forum about 22, and eventually I could find a way to squeeze some meaning out of it, but I admit it feels far fetched.
I have often this feeling with unchanging hexagrams, so I decided to give it a try and ask the Y directly:

How should I read unchanging hexagrams?

and got 23... unchanging!!!



This one really intrigues me.
I was thinking that this answers might be telling me whenever I get such an answer it's not time to take action
"It does not further one To go anywhere"
"Hence it is not cowardice but wisdom to submit and avoid action."
"The right behavior in such adverse times is to be deduced from the images and their attributes."

It's also possible the Y is telling me to let go for a while... I have been asking way too much...

Thanks!
Yo
:bows:

What is going on with me?
22 unchanging.

22 > 22

☶ ☶
☲ ☲

Hexagram pictures: Horse and Horse.

Overall judgment: You have been riding the same horse too long.

Text:

22J
Grace has success.
In small matters
It is favorable to undertake something.

You need to change directions and attend to the small things of the real world.

22I
Fire at the foot of the mountain:
The image of Grace.
Thus does the superior man proceed
When clearing up current affairs.
But he dare not decide controversial issues in this way.

Make whatever polite excuses are necessary.

Really, you should stop your retreat and stop being alone. If you are doing meditation, you should find another avenue of spiritual development, one that involves others and the ordinary affairs of life. Are you aware of the danger of meditation psychosis?

http://www.thehumanist.org/humanist/MaryGarden.html
Can Meditation Be Bad for You?

yoana said:

This morning I woke up very anxious, disturbed, even aching, and I couldn't calm myself down. So i asked the Y,

What is going on with me?
22 unchanging.

Click to expand...

I think it might mean something like: 'Life for you now is like watching a movie.'

yoana said:

How should I read unchanging hexagrams?

and got 23... unchanging!!!

Click to expand...

No advantage is to be gained from seeking any goal or destination.

Just be as a big mountain, resting upon the earth...

Wait it out; and I am referring to your state of mind.

Because the IC sees what's inside, while you have become over-concerned about matters of no importance to you in the long run.

yoana said:

I was mildly depressed about things when I got here one week ago, but I see now I only grew worse with the days. This morning I woke up very anxious, disturbed, even aching, and I couldn't calm myself down. So i asked the Y,

What is going on with me?
22 unchanging.

Click to expand...

You appeared to be just thinking way too much about all kinds of "silly" things, you were worrying about the details of life, you were having a 9 of swords night. But in the full light of day, you will realize that your "problems" are not insurmountable, most things in life can be dealt with if one applies plenty of careful and calm thought.

Yoana, someone once said to me: "Only complain to someone who can do something about your problem."

I think you ought to pick one thing that's bothering you and discuss it with someone who really knows about that subject -- someone who is really willing to help you. Then you'll feel you're not alone with all these troubles.

Thank you all for your insightful help and your willingness to collaborate. It does feel 22 might not be an easy one, as you all offer very different outlooks on it.

I guess nobody found the 23 unchanging as witty as me...

One thing that by one way or another I ended up deciding is to move back to the city and leave the retreat, because I'm not gaining more clarity and I am loosing vitality. My thoughts are increasingly pessimistic, and not the other way round, as usually happens when I enter silence and a bit of solitude.

I thank you for your concern, Pocossin, and your take on 22 was really helpful. I am a zazen practicioner for many years now, and I know what you mean about meditation not being all roses, but I did think that specific article you sent had a very narrow view on the subject. I don't easily conform to the scientific obsession of collapsing all human experiences into neural activity and hormone release... next they try to explain Love as a mix of pheromones and hormones and whatever... I don't agree you can narrow down meditation to brain activity, despite the fact it does cause all those effects on the brain, it has been proved to do so. This is a long discussion, one which I enjoy a lot!, but let me just say that for me it was very helpful to come across Wilber's 4 quadrants, as it is a great visualization system of how any event has at least 4 ways of manifesting in the world, being neural activity just one (upper right quadrant).
But I know what you mean, I have seen many people not happy at all to sit down to meditate and actually encounter their shadows, and perhaps it is a bit of what's happening to me. Every time I sit down I just find this immense feeling of lack of purpose and my inability to let go of things I "had" (even though I really didn't...) and that I have the feeling "were taken away from me" (even though in one case he left with his own two legs...).
Anyway, as we've said, sitting down with this feeling is not bringing me far, so I am going to change strategy and see what happens. Back to group yoga class

Ginnie, thank you so much for all your entries, your first one does describe very well how I feel right now. (where is the rewind button?????)
The "complaining" part (you meant "sharing", right? ) is harder as my social life was very much secluded to my dance company, and I have been dismissed, and it's painful to go back right now.

Willowfox, you are right again. But sometimes you talk directly to some superhuman part of me that I still haven't found. I mean, I still have your survival plan sticked to my fridge and spent these 2 months getting through 30.2 and 30.3 and never really got to 30.5... It is not that I disagree with you, on the contrary, and I do know my problems are not insurmountable, but stopping the rumination is hard. (Not impossible.) But very much thankful!


:bows:
Ok, let's see what I can do with all this...
Thanks again!
:bows:

y