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13.4<37, 53.5<52 relationship

literunner

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Hello,
Been undergoing a period of separation in a relationship and recently got some ambiguous communication from the other person which made me wonder where the relationship is at present--on hold, opening up, diminishing or something else even. I consulted the Yi to see what best steps are to move ahead..

Status of our rel. in general now?
53.5<52

The line indicates misunderstandings keeping things sterile, but which eventually work themselves out.
LiSe says: "What is part of your being or your aims will always reveal itself, and it will have more effect if it realizes itself day by day than by pouring out everything at one go."

What sort of rel can X and I make now?
13.4<37
Since 13 is about fellowship, I'm reading this as saying focus on being harmonious friends who see things from the same viewpoint. Drop any fighting attitudes or viewpoints and come together in ways that we can come together. And for Hx 37: "A noble one’s words have substance and her actions are consistent" will help.

And from the forum:
"...an issue about trust and selfishness, but all is not lost; if you are pleasant to one another, that's a step in the right direction.
Persevere using gentle powers of persuasion and be sincere in all that you say, truth will win in the end."

So I got from these that all is not lost and the next step is to stop fighting and create more of a peaceful and safe environment to further nourish the relationship. Any other ideas/thoughts/experiences with these lines? Would love to hear other points of view here.
Thank you,
LR
:bows:
 
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knotxx

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I do agree that 13.4 means dropping fighting attitudes, but it also suggests I think that sometimes one of the ways to do that is by developing good personal boundaries. Then you don't feel so vulnerable, so every small thing doesn't feel like a huge threat you have to bristle at. I don't know if that makes any sense in your situation, but it is something I think of with 13.4.

53.5 is a lovely line I think. It says be still and collect yourself (52), because everything will be all right. 52 has something to do with 13.4, perhaps -- that sense of knowing you are calm and complete in yourself that makes it possible to have a good relationship.
 

literunner

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I do agree that 13.4 means dropping fighting attitudes, but it also suggests I think that sometimes one of the ways to do that is by developing good personal boundaries. Then you don't feel so vulnerable, so every small thing doesn't feel like a huge threat you have to bristle at. I don't know if that makes any sense in your situation, but it is something I think of with 13.4.

53.5 is a lovely line I think. It says be still and collect yourself (52), because everything will be all right. 52 has something to do with 13.4, perhaps -- that sense of knowing you are calm and complete in yourself that makes it possible to have a good relationship.

Hi Knot,
Thank you for your additional thoughts on 13.4. I think the aspect of good personal boundaries is in use by both of us now and can help as we further define things. Your comment is really helpful. It also relates to 37, for to have a healthy and safe household, you need the appropriate boundaries for those within.

From the limited info I have, it seems the other person has pulled back to a neutral, detached stance (mirroring what you said about 13.4). They care about our relationship and want to remain bonded in ways that work, but obstacles are still in the way and the other person seems to be defining us in a more neutral, uncommitted stance as of late. Of course this bothers as I love this person and want to move toward a more solid relationship, and I have been feeling the need to clarify where we are at, but with the readings above (esp being calm and complete per 52) I'm thinking it's better to pause and be at peace with where things are at--just go to being pleasant and nice for now and the safe enfold of hx 37.

I also keep getting a particular reading for how to work things out and with regard to sticking with this:
61.1.2.6<8

I've looked at LiSe's take on these lines and get from them the need to be true to oneself in the place where you are, to use utmost sincerity to connect from the heart and through simple actions instead of trying to talk someone into something that their pacing isn't ready to hear.
Any other experiences with any of my lines is welcome.
Thank you.
 
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literunner

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question about 31.5<62

Hello good folks,
I am looking for experience with 31.5<62 as I've gotten it a few times lately about different questions for my relationship and wondering if I'm getting all the line is saying. ??
(At the moment, we are not in touch regularly due to circumstances, though we both have expressed we wish it were different.) When I got these readings, I had this gut feeling I had missed some important thing I needed to do but didn't know what it was.

"What is best to do now about our rel?" and "What does x need from me now?" both yielded:
31.5<62

My initial thoughts were that only small influence is possible or don't influence with the trivial. And also that small things matter now and there is a need to lay low. Based on what I thought the 31.5 was saying, I reached out with a short note agreeing it will be nice to connect again (as my partner expressed) when possible.
Then today, after my initial post, I found this on a thread:
***Line 31.5 stay true to your convictions and find the peace within yourself before you attempt to influence anyone.***
From this, it makes sense why I felt I wanted to write and confirm I wanted the same as my partner; I had not expressed it in so many words prior and it was indeed important to me, not trivial.

Then did new reading:
What do I need to know about this rel at present?

3.4.5.6<21

Difficult beginnings, union made humbly and with sincerity will be fortunate, don't force too much or rush, just do small things slowly and methodically and with quiet balance, that things are in the way at the moment, and don't allow negative emotions to tempt me to give up--to persevere.
The 21, obstacle to truth, I'm wondering about; it could be the circumstances now, that we need to get at the truth of the matter. Or it could be about needing still to accomplish that.

Any ideas?
I would truly appreciate any help with my readings and/or what I've written here; other perspectives from those on the forum help greatly.
Thank you :bows:
 
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bradford

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I also got 13.4>37 today for a LTR with a woman a third of the world away,
far "across the great stream".
I'm gonna come down off my wall and open the gate, and see how that works out.
 

literunner

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great image, Bradford

Thank you for the reply, Bradford, that's a helpful image. There wasn't any "fighting" going on per se, so the image I had been using prior to your comment was not really working for me. Your image, about coming down off the wall (where one can't be reached) and opening the gate is better--and fits with me being a bit more open and reaching out more to my partner instead of appearing stonewalling.
Thank you for coming to the thread and adding your own wisdom.
:bows:

Do you or anyone here have input on the 31.5 or 3.4.5.6 reads? Sometimes I get what the Yi is saying and other times I fear I may be off.
Thank you.
 
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literunner

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more on 31.5

Found these on 31.5 as well and thought I'd add them to this thread for reference. This line has so many different interpretations, but was interesting to put them all in one place.

**31.5 suggests that by being too defensive one closes off any possibility that the influence is sincere and then one risks being unreceptive to potential.***

**31.5 to me talks about the need of a more honest and altruistic attitude to make the thing run.**

**31.5 is about gaining control over being influenced or by trying to influence others. It appears to me that it suggests positive self control, close to the heart but not exactly the heart (heart line is 31.4 which can induce restlessness) and above 31.6 (just talking). In order to achieve not to be overly self-controlled the suggestion is to keep close to the ground, hence the resulting 62. This way great achievements can be made (62 is rather auspicious).**

**Line 5 says that you need to go with your gut on this one. You need to decide, but don't allow yourself to be inflexible as to the ultimate decision. Hexagram 62 is all about being realistic about your options and taking the middle ground: don't fly too high. Figure out what the best, least extreme course is to take in your circumstance.**

**In my experience, this line is all about commitment: usually a lack of commitment. It instructs you to commit, one way or the other and not to be too stiff and rigid. Allow the passion to consume you.**

**The message is that when one makes a decision, one should not be nearsighted.
The influence is good and sound at the root.**
 

bradford

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**31.5 suggests that by being too defensive one closes off any possibility that the influence is sincere and then one risks being unreceptive to potential.***
**In my experience, this line is all about commitment: usually a lack of commitment. It instructs you to commit, one way or the other and not to be too stiff and rigid. Allow the passion to consume you.**
*

I think these two are the closest to the core meaning of 31.5.
 

literunner

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Thank you, Bradford, for responding with more distilled thoughts on 31.5. I'll let those sink in and keep for future reference.

Am editing my post to more accurately reflect the background. I've had a pretty full calendar with family, friends, job, social events and not much time for myself for several weeks. I was focused on managing my schedule, but not on relationship. I had an intuitive sense that I was neglecting something there, in the midst of my other goings on, and that is what prompted my 31.5 read.
When I got it more than once in a span of time and still didn't understand it, I asked for help here. My own experience with getting the same line more than once in a span of time has been that there's some action or attitude still to do. I let it be in my mind and considered the answers I found/got here.
Sometimes my readings are clear and I get them right away, sometimes I understand them after time goes by, sometimes I don't at all and I ask for help from others, and sometimes I ask for further insight from the Yi. In this case, I did more clearing of my mind (and my busy schedule) and asked for further clarification
"What's the right thing to do to help our rel?"
42.2.6<60
From prior experience with 42, it can be about increasing what's superior and decreasing what's inferior in myself. Line 2 is about pursuing the good and superior to achieve your aims and receive blessings, and line 6 is about remaining generous, balanced and correct to others--consistent-- is what I've experience with it before. And for hx 60, voluntarily chosen limits empower your growth. (Thanks to Ginnie for clearer insights into these lines).

Taking in all the comments, replies and input on this thread, it makes for a broader perspective and gives positive ways to handle the current times.
I'll save and refer to, so thanks again, everyone. :)
 
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ginnie

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What do I need to know about this rel at present?

3.4.5.6<21

You are trying to bite through and get to the bottom of this relationship; the truth of it. But you're only at the beginning -- and at this time you are really trying too hard.

You need some kind of assistance. Line 6 can be very difficult to endure. You're too wound up and conflicted.

Yi gave you one answer with the hexagram 52, Meditation. (53.5>52) I don't know how people can get through their lives without a meditation practice. Now might be the best time for you to find out about it, if you don't already do some kind of daily, formal practice. You're overly preoccupied with this other person.

Please do whatever you need to do to become more deeply centered within yourself. It's just not healthy to go on like this.
 
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ginnie

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42.2.6<60

Can you limit how much time you spend thinking about this woman?

Make every effort to get your mind off her and remember to take care of all your other responsibilities. Make sure your bills are paid and you're counting your change. Eat good food. Get enough sleep. Do necessary repairs around the house. Keep in contact with the other people you know ... Go out and do the things you need to get done.

I think you desperately want to help her, but you've simply got to realize how far away she is in actual reality. It is very hard to help someone who is that far away. It is very hard to be 'family' to someone who is so far away -- especially since she is not getting back to you, literunner.

In this situation, you can take care of her by taking care of yourself. This may sound paradoxical, but it isn't.

Right now you are just wasting your energy, and think twice or three times before saying anything more. In fact, it would be better to find a way to put a stop to your preoccupation with her.

42 > 60 is, I think, about restraining yourself. Do not get so carried away like this! It's not healthy!
 
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literunner

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Thank you for the insights, Ginnie, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and give such caring advice. :bows:
Your take on 42 makes more sense to me than what I was interpreting.
It's quite helpful in aspects that I hadn't thought of as I've been too busy with a hectic schedule of friends, family and job to do my normal centering and balancing (and my meditating), then was fretting that I had neglected things that were important in my relationship. Your insights speak a better solution than what I was seeing, of focusing on balancing my mental and physical worlds in order to bring whatever's needed and best to all my relationships and to myself. It's a really nice perspective, so thank you. :)
 
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literunner

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update on 31.5<62

Found out what 31.5<62 meant for my situation back in Sept-- in my case it is what Bradford had suggested:
a need for a stronger commitment: in my mind, in my heart, in my actions in the care of day to day details of a relationship; in other words, showing to those involved that there is sincere commitment, and showing it in day to day details, ongoing.

Posting this to help others with 31.5 readings :)
LR
 

ginnie

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Consistently Look Beyond the Obvios

Most of us have mixed feelings toward others or what are called love/hate relationships. Do you think "making a commitment" is the same as releasing negative thoughts and feelings toward someone as soon as they arise --thus retaining only our positive feelings toward other people?

I think the commitment made is to do something like that; to consistently overlook those irritating little flaws we all have. To look beyond them in order to perceive all there is to honor and enjoy in people ...
 

literunner

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Ginnie, I like that alot! That is a good way to look at 31.5, it's a tricky line as I've found it means different things in different situations. Your take is helpful and broad based.
Yes, the commitment has to start in your own head and heart to be effective. In my case, the other party was feeling neglected, I was being too 62-ish in my mind and interactions, too mild in my heart and mind to be effective--even though in my heart and soul I deeply love the person, it was being covered over by, as you say, not enough commitment to the positive.
 

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