Hi,

I'm new to this forum, so hello to all and thank you in advance. This year has been a tough one with some unexpected changes - one, I have been searching for work for nearly a year, and two, I recently broke off with an intended life partner.

The relationship is now quite bitter, with the two of us barely keeping in touch. However, we were and are very in love to this day, strangely. Only we cannot seem to overcome difficulties in our communication and distance spent apart. Although we were living together, my partner spent 90% of the time in their home country with family. I believe a lot of it was out of sheer fear at being in a new country. I tried to be patient, but it was very stressful for me, and my partner did not seem to accept or understand my difficulty with this situation after a year. By the time they could accept some of it, a lot of damage had been done to our trust and we both had said a lot of hurtful things.

I was hoping to get some clarification on whether or not there was any hope of reunion before moving on to questions concerning my job situation. I asked the Yi: What steps can we take to start this relationship anew?

I received Hex 27.2.4 to 38

My assumption here is that in the first hex represents how we nourish others and ourselves, and being careful. I have also seen the image of spreading seeds in the spring in regards to this hex and I would be interested in what others feel about this. This makes me think of preparing the way for a time of blossoming and cultivation of the better parts of ourselves.

But lines 2 and 4 tell different stories, and seem in opposition...

In line 2, I sensed that I should not become distracted and miss my goal of "reaching the summit"? But also there is some indication that taking the help of others is like taking the easy way out and could be damaging...

And in line 4, I read that I have the drive and desire to reach this goal, but should keep my eyes peeled for people to help me.

These two lines seem to say opposite things, so I would love some insight. This was my interpretation so forgive any incorrect assumptions...

And hex 38 I felt clearly and correctly indicated estrangement. Although it can also indicate a sense that opposites can exist in unity (fellowship and individuality can coexist), i.e. Heaven and Earth, etc. I also interpreted it to mean that if I take care of the small things, and work incrementally, there is hope for reaching my goal after a time. Any thoughts?

Thank you,
Blu7

What steps can we take to start this relationship anew?
27.2.4 > 38

Friends dine together, and that suggest the origin of your problem since your friend was so often absent. There is a positive side to hex 38 imo. It's finding friends outside the family, suggesting your friendship with one outside your country.

The Image of 27 is

At the foot of the mountain, thunder:
The image of Providing Nourishment.
Thus the superior man is careful of his words
And temperate in eating and drinking.

Hurtful words were exchanged like an avalanche of boulders.

Six in the second place means:
Turning to the summit for nourishment,
Deviating from the path
To seek nourishment from the hill.
Continuing to do this brings misfortune.

Hills, unlike productive level land, are not places of material nourishment. Your differences arise from a difference in ideals instead of basic human interests.

Six in the fourth place means:
Turning to the summit
For provision of nourishment
Brings good fortune.
Spying about with sharp eyes
Like a tiger with insatiable craving.
No blame.

Yet if the situation progresses so that ideals could be reappraised and the situation seen in a new light, reconciliation might be possible. Could you consider adapting to your friend's culture by changing countries or in some manner adapting to your friend's culture by creating it in your own?

Hex 27 - There is an issue of communication of the kind that allows you and your friend to feel loved and supported on a daily basis. I suspect a language barrier? Language differences often lead to misunderstandings on both sides. Subtle meanings can be lost in translation, and these "sweet nothings" are important when it comes to bonding emotionally.
Line 2 - You are hoping to "rise above" the current problems and take a wiser, more tolerant, or enlightened view of your relationship. To be philosophical and open-hearted is good but that will not ultimately satisfy your needs for love and sustenance.
Line 4 - Here the Oracle advises you to passionately pursue this relationship through communication. You are advised to use all your communication resources to let your friend know how you feel. Be sure that friend is clear about your love for friend.
Hex 38 - Here the Oracle points to the obvious fact that you are facing a time of estrangement from your friend. This involves various aspects of the relationship: your are not in the same place, you are from different cultures, you are not in close communication, etc. Even though this is the transformed Hexagram it does not necessarily predict the future. It only speaks about corresponding factors that are already at play and could very easily become the outcome of the situation.
Communication is the key.

blu7 said:

And hex 38 I felt clearly and correctly indicated estrangement. Although it can also indicate a sense that opposites can exist in unity (fellowship and individuality can coexist), i.e. Heaven and Earth, etc.

Click to expand...

hi blu7,

I like what you write about 38 and Pocossin's & Dana's comments . . 38 could be also a sign that you'll have to overlook things that rub you the wrong way while looking in the eye issues that you might have been pushing under the carpet so far . .

Thank you!

Thank you to Pocossin, Dana and Rodaki! All three of your comments have been extremely enlightening.

Pocossin, my former partner did feel alienated in the US, and although I tried to be supportive, we had many misunderstandings due to language differences - although fluent in English, there are undoubtedly some areas my partner felt less proficient in. Although I was sympathetic for a while, it seemed that language differences were increasingly the only excuse given for all of the issues brought up, rather than fundamental ideals we were struggling to compromise on. I became less patient as I felt certain issues were left ignored, and I know this was a fault on my end too. But as Rodokin so rightly reminded me, I was trying to be too sympathetic at times, and I also let certain types of behavior go on too long, like prolonged absences, and communication problems - you hit it on the head, Dana.

I am curious about the lines in relation to the involvement of friends - normally, I keep things between us and I think it is the same on the other end for the most part, but it seems here I'm being told to not be distracted by others, and to also later seek help from others - this was my confusion... any thoughts?

My former partner prefers to communicate by email, and that has been a huge difficulty causing more communication problems, which is why I stopped. Now, after more than a month, yesterday I received an email - but it's meaning was unclear and it upset me and I responded too soon and with emotion. I receive a short reply to somewhat clarify, but it was still hazy, and rather than jump to more conclusions, I thought I would see if cutting off this type of communication would be wise. I asked the Yi "How would my former partner feel if I stopped writing them emails?"

I received hexagram 64.5 to 6

The hexes seem to be in competition with one another, but can they be suggesting to stop the conflict through a compromise on my part, and then asking someone impartial and wiser for help in deciding the matter at that point? It says not to undertake any great plans, but I don't know how that fits in either...

Any thoughts here? I don't want to spite my partner by being silent, but I don't want to rush and say something inadvertently hurtful either. Thank you again for all your great help everyone!