Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
All week long I've been trying out this new idea of Hex 44 that was introduced in Margaret Pearson's webinar and sprinkling that liberally on la gente where 44 arises in shared readings, etc. I love her ideas and they solved a big problem for me of hating to cast Hex 44 and feeling that it was a put down of any woman who knew her own mind and strength by somebody [sometimes a man or authority figure but who knows who else] who just couldn't handle it.
Meanwhile, this woman was regarded only as a potential bearer of an "heir" in the old version, which could mean a lot of things but, to me anyway, meant that she was less than a full human being and not allowed to be either intelligent OR seductive. Oh please.
So via Margaret Pearson we have this new idea of Hex 44 which speaks to me much more of the power women must have had in ancient China. They surely weren't all just sexual vessels or vassals and I can imagine had some very powerful influence that rulers may well have relied upon.
Having given all that background I just cast Hex 44 in enquiring about an atittude someone apparently hold toward me, someone who voices a huge appreciation of assistance with various projects and ideas but, almost on the sly, is kind of mean. I don't mean cruel, but everyone once in a while comes out with some put down that is more than a friendly dig. So I'm wondering -- is this the guy's sense of humour?
It could be in any variety of ways that happens, but it's undeniably there and sometimes veiled as a joke. But it doesn't feel funny. So I asked: what is the reason for his unkind attitude toward me? The Yi Ching says it is Hexagram 44 Unchanging. SO, no chance for a reprieve on this? And in view of the varied interpretation os Hex 44 that have been discussed on here lately -- any suggestions on the meaning and direction to take from the casting?
When ever the I Ching refers to woman I find it helpful to think of it as talking about the unconscious, the powerful drives one may not be aware of and which have no clear means of expression. 44 it seems to me is particularly referencing the unconscious drives that can undermine one's conscious intentions.
It sounds to me as if your friend has some resentment towards woman. He probably was raised by a very strong single mother who didn't have much money or time for little boys.
His inner brat is looking for recognition. Next time he acts out ask him if he would like to come to your office for a spanking.
rosada
His inner brat is looking for recognition. Next time he acts out ask him if he would like to come to your office for a spanking.
rosada
Resolve the situation by maintaining a professional bearing in his presence. Avoid discussing personal issues when he is around.
okay is it possible for Arabella to maintain a professional bearing in his prescence whilst she is spanking him ? Dressing up as a headmistress maybe ?
wonder which way Arabella will go
Some men (T. E. Lawrence, Swinburne) enjoy a good spanking
Sounds like this person sees you as a threat. Perhaps he's sensed you're not feeling 'Tip Top' these
days, hence the subtle yet derogatory comments. Often, when one person says something unpleasant to another, claiming it's only a joke, there is in fact an element of truth .. in that the person does
feel it's true/pertinent to a certain extent.
IMO the Sage responded by giving you an image of how he perceives you ... a strong lady !
Hex. 44 'Coupling
The situation described this hexagram is characterized by the magnetic attraction of primal
Yin and Yang, a meeting driven by powerful instinctual forces, beyond the control of social
or personal considerations.
Coupling
Woman's vigor (.. .. .. here's the emphasis)
No availing of grasping womanhood
Hex. 44 hardly appears within the context of male<>female attraction, for me it usually
confirms a woman's power and her stance vis à vis a particular situation. May I suggest
he could possibly be attracted to you Arabella ... it's not unusual for men to be unpleasant
and or difficult when they're attracted and realise it's inappropriate, given the circumstances ...
I would stay clear of this Margaret Pearson's interpretation. It is a seductive influence that will only distract you from learning the Yijing. The woman is powerfully wrong. Do not learn from this woman.
Having given all that background I just cast Hex 44 in enquiring about an atittude someone apparently holds toward me, someone who voices a huge appreciation of assistance with various projects and ideas but, almost on the sly, is kind of mean. I don't mean cruel, but everyone once in a while comes out with some put down that is more than a friendly dig. So I'm wondering -- is this the guy's sense of humour?
?
There is a big humour divide between US and UK and I think English people probably use the put down sometimes almost as a indication of endearment and intimacy. Many friends show how much they like each other by continual insults in the form of banter and so on but of course general demeanour, facial expression, smiling, body language all those clues indicates it means liking not disliking..Well thats probably true all round the world but i think perhaps british people may do it in such a deadpan way you may not know they are joking
As you lived here a long time I doubt that its just that you didn't get his humour...but nevertheless it may be a small contributing factor to bear in mind
I grew up with "jokes" which were a way of telling someone the 'truth' without being honest about it. Usually not daring to say it honestly. You had to accept it, it was the truth after all - but it was also nasty. Now, looking back, I can recognize it, but back then I had no idea this was not right. Only when others got angry when I did it myself, I learned to see what it actually was.
My father did it fairly often. He was a very nice man but not a brave one.
But I doubt you are going to get to the truth of the matter with this question....
People can make suggestions but you won't be much further forward, its all supposition..if X or Y says he did it because of this you still won't know so was this the most useful question for you ? Without an in depth conversation with him you'll never actually know why he makes these comments to you...and even then you may still not know.
Isn't all you need to know how best for you to respond or receive or not receive such behaviour ? Yis advice about how best behave will surely give you a clue to his motives anyway. If Yi advises withdrawal you'll know that his motives to you are harmful in some way and you are better out of it. If Yi encourages more communication you'll know there is more for you to know about this.
Yes I've read alot lately about how people who treat you this way are an opportunity to learn to 'stand in your own power' ...and of course 44 in relationships is oft some way of getting you to stand out of your own power, to abdicate your own power, to move over for this oh so important 44 factor
34.1 shows you out of your depth somewhat though...so initially it wouldn't be easy and too determined an approach would certainly backfire...:hide:however by line 4 you cracked it . I think 34 suggests you be very aware of your own strength and play by the rules...as in being totally straight about it, no tactics or questionable methods (such as spanking )
46 as relating....growth and expansion (46) into your own power (34)
you go for it girl ompom:
Obviously, I won't need the blue sofa then -- although I LOVE it. I'll definitely be wielding the big axled cart in this standoff. I admit, I am a bit pushed to deal with this guy and how dare he get himself tangled around my Hex 44. How dare he intrude in my current Yi reverie? How can HE or his like be hex 44, my wonderful mystifying hex of the hour?
I keep wondering WHY he sets me on my heels. I'm not afraid of him, yet somehow he embarrasses me being so......patriarchal, like he has some right. Why does that get me flustered?? I've given myself the old pep talk a number of times: he's just a guy for pete's sake. OK, older, VERY sure of himself. But mocking me? No way. By the way, I'll take the pom poms, just in case the cart doesn't impress, they're bound to give him a case of Hex 34. And, if not, I'll be back for the sofa. XO Arabella
if you knew the kinds of queries I've had 44 for you'd lose all faith in the Margaret Pearson approach.
Perhaps you admire him so are particulary susceptible to any put down by him ?...Perhaps he has a quality you feel you don't...and you want it...you have some need for his approval ?
Perhaps approval is too strong a word but naturally we expect friends to be nice to us. I've had female friends who in the course of a perfectly amicable conversation drop in digs so fast and subtle its not till hours later I even realised the hurt of it....by which time its too late to respond. It wasn't because I admired them that it bothered me but that they were 'friends' doing all the things friends do....a friend has special status in our lives so its only natural that if they try to wound us we'd experience some dissonance and question that status...
Mind you i think of that kind of 'dig' as a particularly female/female dynamic...he being male and you female adds another element...whether thats down to repressed attraction i can't say
re the blue sofa I'd still keep it handy if i were you...at first
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).