what is this girls story with me? Hex 20.1 to Hex 42

jp78 · Mar 15, 2011

This girl on campus is confusing me; she always looks busy when I see her and sort of annoyed by something. I like her and saw her again today, but it didnt occur to me to ask her out. I dont know why I can't think of these simple things. Anyway,

What is that girls story with me? Hexagram 20.1 changing into hexagram 42.

20.1 is something about humiliation and 42 says Increase. I guess if I were to do anything now I would humiliate myself and 42 i guess is life without her?

hope i interpreted this incorrectly, but man i gotta stop misinterpreting girls and their moods; never know when or when not I should do something. :duh:

chucklesthegirl · Mar 15, 2011

I think the i ching is saying that trying to figure her out from a distance will bring humiliation, not necessarily approaching her to chat.

Why don't you just try saying hello? If she is rude or blows you off then you're better off without her.

jp78 · Mar 16, 2011

i dont understand how trying to figure her out from a distance would bring humiliation, and Im not quite sure if that is what the I-ching really is implying. But, ur right - i will just say hello and see how it goes from there. thks!

goddessliss · Mar 16, 2011

Don't even try to work girls out jp78, I have 3 sons and I just laugh when they say 'mum, I just don't get where she's coming from'.
Just ask her then you'll know if she's interested or not! Good luck x

chingching · Mar 16, 2011

goddessliss said:
Don't even try to work girls out jp78, I have 3 sons and I just laugh when they say 'mum, I just don't get where she's coming from'.
Just ask her then you'll know if she's interested or not! Good luck x

i dont understand how trying to figure her out from a distance would bring humiliation

because in this situation the flexibility and nature curiosity of a child without trying to figure her out has no blame. But to try and analyse her is no good.

Like liss said, figuring her out wont gain anything.

20.1 kinda reminds me of that seinfeld skit when he talks about how hard it is to make friends as an adult, but when you are a kid as long as you were standing out on the street at the same time you were friends and if you both like the colour red then you were best friends (badly paraphrased, but i saw it a long time ago now).

42 echopes this child like flexibility, with 42 you need to flow like water, always adjusting ...as in the image:

Wind and thunder. Increase.
The noble one sees improvement, and so she changes.
When there is excess, she corrects it.

chucklesthegirl · Mar 16, 2011

Basically what Ching Ching and Goddessliss said applies to what I meant by "humiliation". Nothing can be gained by the viewing her from a distance. I think the way the line is read, at least by the Willhelm translation, to just limit your perspective to what you can glean from a distance ends in humiliation because you never actually get close enough to see what the whole picture is.

Hexagram 20 is about gaining insight from the situation. Line one says you are unable to fully understand the situation because you're taking it from a "boy's approach" which I think is quite fantastic given the circumstances.

Six at the beginning means:
Boy like contemplation.
For an inferior man, no blame.
For a superior man, humiliation.

This means contemplation from a distance, without comprehension. A man of influence is at hand, abut his influence is not understood by the common people. This matters little in the case of the masses, for they benefit by the actions of the ruling sage whether they understand them or not. But for a superior man it is a disgrace. He must not content himself with a shallow, thoughtless view of prevailing forces; he must contemplate them as a connected whole and try to understand them.

Try talking to her and see what happens. If she is unpleasant, you won't lose much in the long run.

jp78 · Mar 17, 2011

well, this was very insightful. I never would have interpreted the lines this way. I guess I just think about these things too much because of my bad experience from past relationships. Im always worried about the outcome so I miss my shot. But just saying hello is a simply and straight forward approach - I think I will always follow that piece of advice.

I don't think I will try to figure girls out anymore - it requires too much effort and thinking on my part. In fact, it's illogical and in most cases has been a waste of time for me. I could have done something better with my time. I've tried to put myself in a girls shoes and think how I would feel if I were in a particular situation and it hasn't work in the past. From now on, just keeping it simple..

chucklesthegirl · Mar 17, 2011

I think that's very wise. Pretty much the same goes for men as well. I tend to over think things and am often afraid to approach others. It's human to want to avoid being hurt. Unfortunately this often leads to missing out on some possibly great opportunities.

...life can be translucent

what is this girls story with me? Hex 20.1 to Hex 42

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