What kind of Relationship does X want from me?

Hex 38.2.5 to 25
Kindred spirit cuts through? I am sure Yii is telling me much more and I am in need of fresh perspective or two..Thanks!

You are not kindred spirits, i.e., you are very different from each other, different enough to lead to a parting. However, he does want to join you in the feast of life. If he wants to make this succeed in love, then what is required is a mutual attitude of honesty and sincerity. If it were 38 alone, there would be very little, if any chance, of success, but 25 is a good chance.

38 "Opposition in a small matter will turn out all right. ... The timely use of opposition is great indeed." The classic "opposites attract" image is presented here. There are issues to work through, but the promise of a rewarding relationship if everyone works in good faith.

Line 5 "Regret vanishes. With the ally in close cooperation, what is wrong with proceeding?" What's not to like?

25 No Error. "Freedom from error is very successful, beneficial for the upright. Denial of what is correct is mistaken, so it will not be beneficial to go anywhere." The same old boring advice to think good thoughts and act in good faith, even when it's easier to do the contrary.

What kind of Relationship does X want from me? Hex 38.2.5 to 25

He wants the kind that has chemistry (38), that has a natural connection so that there are no misunderstandings (line 2), and wants a relationship with a sincere person who is going to work on the relationship (line 5) without a lot of baggage from the past brought in (25).

Modest Learner

Hello White Owl

Apologies if you've tried this (just ignore me if so), it's just that I had a thought that maybe you could start from hexagram 25, describing how you're related to the situation you're inquiring about. Perhaps if you get hex 25 to slot into place then the primary hexagram and its changing lines might come alive for you.

Regards

Nebu

BTW-my spell check dosent work.
Yes we are opposites in alot of ways..but yet we have alot in common too. For the last 2 yrs we have been playing alot of cat & mouse games. We have a very strong sexual chemistry between us. I had a serious relationship 10 yrs ago with him that lasted 3 yrs. I think he likes all this game playing. I think hex 38 correlates somewhat with this fact I am seeing this now. Not that I havent enjoyed the silly, innocent,passionate games either. Possibly were the Hex 25 comes into play ..?(I couldnt have done this without you guys) coming to this deeper knowledge. Its starting to become not so innocent & carefree because I told him that I am tired of everything being so intense between us..I am the one craving the sincere honesty right now..not mind games. He feels (I think) that I am right because I drew Hex 18.4 twice regarding how he his attitude is about us/relationship.Time will tell of course. Something has to evolve somwhere or dissolve, because I am starting to lose my drive & energy & nerve.

White Owl,

Yi is saying then that you BOTH want the same thing if you are tired of the games. 18.4 seems to confirm. 25 said the same thing to me in this instance (no baggage). (It is interesting to note that what he wants everyone wants if you read my initial interpretation.)

Given what you have said my original interpretation could be modified:

What kind of Relationship does X want from me? Hex 38.2.5 to 25

He likes the chemistry (38), tired of the misunderstandings (line 2), and wants sincerity to return so that the relationship can work (line 5) without digging into or bringing up the past--a fresh start. (25).

Asking why this isn't happening would be the next exploration I would think.

Modest Learner

Hi Modestlearner,

Yes I agree we both want the same thing & excellent point taken with "why isnt this happening yet" to ask..for more exploration which I will than post to this thread soon..

Thanks

What kind of Relationship does X want from me? Hex 38.2.5 to 25

hmm ... this answer is perplexing to me "because of the kind of relationship X wants". The two hexagrams are interesting in the context of the question.

Bradford calls 38 "Estrangement", with fire rising and water descending, the energy moving in opposite directions. LISE calls 38 "Kui" and I wonder if the essence is an opportunity to go in one or another direction. LISE also writes "the unknown others one stares at, those one feels different from, or simply are not oneself: standing face to face with you, talking or silent, nice or unfriendly."

LISE's 38.2 writes "For you only your own rules - or universal rules - are valid. It is a huge compliment to be called weird, it proves your individuality". Bradford writes "No, these two are not following rules. If they did they would add to the pressures to make things the same and unchanging, which is nothing less than the cause behind all of this tension. Breaking free to be just yourself is the way past this problem".

LISE's 38.5 write "Often it is scary to take the first step towards people. Most people don’t even conceive the idea, they see differences as obstacles instead of appreciating them. Once the contact has been made, the reward is usually great. But the greatest profit is having the guts to do it." Bradford writes "He has not been a kindred spirit for many millions of years, although he did help your ancestors when they needed to learn to run faster. ... You might even try to relate from somewhere way over there, closer to the familiar, and to beings who speak in more similar tongues".

Interesting, I have used the definition of not embroiling or not entangling in the past for 25. But LISE and Bradford (from my reading) have an essence of natural or non-pretentiousness, like a non-agenda'ed approach or attitude.

I think he wants easy-going relations where he can have both closeness and distance. He wants to be able to play by his own rules and maintain his individuality, without compromise. He enjoys the closeness or playfulness but also remembers the differences or difficulties. Perhaps, he wants to relate in a way that won't entangle him, but enjoys the closeness (but not too close), enjoys the playfulness (but not too intimate), enjoys the differences (but does not want to be too bogged down by them), enjoys the connectedness (but not to lose his individuality), enjoys the naturalness between you (but within boundaries).

This was a challenging one to sort out ... thank-you for sharing. Hopefully there is a little something here that resonates. And,I fully embrace the opportunity for me to be boldly wrong.

I asked how come X and are not in a serious/commited relationship yet? (it is just open now)

I got Hex 22.1.5 to 53

"grace in the hills & gardens, the roll of silk is meager & small. Humiliation, but in the end good fortune" is base

Negative thought: He thinks he or I do not have alot to offer right now ??

Positive thought: level of sincerity is being tested between us both..mainly him I am thinking because of age diff, economic status..this is the way of releasing the old baggage from our previous commited relationship 10 yrs ago that we did have together.

Thanks- yes it is a challenging one-

LISE's 38.2 writes "For you only your own rules - or universal rules - are valid. It is a huge compliment to be called weird, it proves your individuality". Bradford writes "No, these two are not following rules. If they did they would add to the pressures to make things the same and unchanging, which is nothing less than the cause behind all of this tension. Breaking free to be just yourself is the way past this problem". This makes alot of sense to me and also

I think he wants easy-going relations where he can have both closeness and distance. He wants to be able to play by his own rules and maintain his individuality, without compromise. I think he enjoys the closeness or playfulness but also remembers the differences or difficulties. Perhaps, he wants to relate in a way that won't entangle him, but enjoys the closeness (but not too close), enjoys the playfulness (but not too intimate), enjoys the differences (but does not want to be too bogged down by them), enjoys the connectedness (but not to lose his individuality), enjoys the naturalness between you (but within boundaries).

This makes alot of sense too

I just did another cast asking "why hasnt anything serious or commited happen yet for X & I?" a quest Modestlearner proposed I asked for more exploration into the situation.I think was a good idea. I received Hex 22.1.5 to 25 which just posted. Any take on that one?

Ace- the references helped

LISE's 38.5 write "Often it is scary to take the first step towards people. Most people don’t even conceive the idea, they see differences as obstacles instead of appreciating them. Once the contact has been made, the reward is usually great. But the greatest profit is having the guts to do it." Bradford writes "He has not been a kindred spirit for many millions of years, although he did help your ancestors when they needed to learn to run faster. ... You might even try to relate from somewhere way over there, closer to the familiar, and to beings who speak in more similar tongues".
This one is really interesting to me & makes me laugh because..I have always (I have never told him this)& I never will ,that he has "left/hung me out to dry" in previous lifetimes. Crazy as it sounds..yes through dream exploration, astrology,intuition, iching, deja vu etc.I know this is crazy, but this thought feels true & its coming more apparent & I think there have been surrounding forces helping to heal this ugly karma. I would have never ever thought about allowing him, to come back into my life. Forgiving him has been huge step for both of us. I think its all,whats that trendy word.. "surreal" for us. Kind of far out there I know..at least it can be entertaining lol

I asked how come X and are not in a serious/commited relationship yet? (it is just open now)

I got Hex 22.1.5 to 53

Keeping the relationship on the surface/superficial (uncommitted) (22) because one can follow ones own wishes and can be independent/not dependent (does one of you not believe in marriage?) and because one feels that he isn't worthy or doesn't have much to offer the other (line 5), both of which prevent love to flow freely (25).

Both of these lines taken to the extreme are ego issues which are grave obstacles to love.

As a footnote: when I read the reading the very first time, for some reason, I read it like this

Things don't move ahead from a more superficial level to deeper commitment because (22) each of those involved are afraid to make the first move and fear dependency on the other, i.e., fear getting his heart broken (line 1) and each has feelings of self doubt and doubts about the other's depth of feeling, i.e, both underestimate their individual worth (line 5).

Modest Learner

Ego issues..thats right.
Things don't move ahead from a more superficial level to deeper commitment because (22) each of those involved are afraid to make the first move and fear dependency on the other, i.e., fear getting his heart broken (line 1) and each has feelings of self doubt and doubts about the other's depth of feeling, i.e, both underestimate their individual worth (line 5).

I couldnt agree with you more.

White Owl,

So maybe now you could ask Yi how to improve the relationship (to bring a deeper level of commitment) ....??? What steps...??? What approach....???

Modest Learner

modestlearner said:

White Owl,

So maybe now you could ask Yi how to improve the relationship (to bring a deeper level of commitment) ....??? What steps...??? What approach....???

Modest Learner

Click to expand...

I dont want a deeper relationship with him..Just more respect. In which its not going to happen because he thinks showing me respect is a sign he wants to be serious. Big time ego problem especially with women..He can go have himself. Thanks for your intuitive advice, your on pitch.

When I asked how come it hasnt become more serious or more commited? There are many levels to this in ones heart. It was to get an overall feel of "what its all about" (probably should be my next quest) come to think of it. I think I am gonna quit this one for awhile, the more I type this the more stupid I feel. I never want to feel like I have to "steal" someones affections.

I trust your instincts.