Hello everyone!

It's one of those moments when a new understanding hits you and you absolutely have to share it! It all started with 29 which has started to show up in my readings lately pretty persistently, usually as a deriving or as an unchanged hexagram, and today was one of those days..

I find myself lately in a state of constant anguish. It's like my heart is beating fast and hard all the time and i need to consciously try and slow it down, my breath is fast and short and there's a feeling of sadness underneath it all. In my personal relationships this state of mind is making me feel insecure and unhappy all the time.

29
So, at the beggining this was a "relationship question": "Why do i feel this way towards x?"

29 unchanged. The insecure part of me instantly saw in this something like: "Because he's dangerous for you".

But then it came to me how connected i felt to this 29 state. It was like a mirror to my crazy heart beating! I could see this person trying not to drawn on this wild river and i could identify to that exact feeling. Fear, anguish, desperation..yeap! That's my heart you're talking about.. "Your heart is scared to death!" is what came to my mind..And then i remembered how in the past 2 weeks i had two minor panic attack episodes for the first time in my life..Hadn't given them much thought because i've been able to control them, but what best hex would there be to describe a panic attack than 29??

I realized then that the issue is much bigger than my relationship. Everything around me seems to be falling apart. This is an everyday reality where i live and i am completely terrified. So, if i could choose another name for 29, that would be "Fear". It is a perfect description of one of the most primitive of emotions.. and the warning against letting oneself be paralyzed by it..

7
Then i thougth i'd ask a second question: "Why am i so afraid ?".

This is where 7 unchanged comes into the picture.. I've always had a difficulty understanding that one.. I've read about it. thought about it, but never really "felt" it. I started looking it up in my books and here and there was one word that kept coming: "Defense" and then "Defensive mechanisms". So, i thought about how when in a state of panic, what is happening in a psychological level is that all defense mechanisms are alert because they're being attacked! Defense mechanism are a good thing because they protect the psyche from overloading and when outside conditions are threatening, the whole defensive system risks collapsing and sometimes it does for a brief moment until it regains it's order..And defense mechanisms are a "bad" thing when they serve the purpose of helping you avoid reality..

So, my personal name for 7, would be "Defense". It could mean you need to build up your defenses, or you have to defend your vital space or, in my case, i believe it could even mean that this whole "my relationship is no good" thing is a big big defense mechanism that distracts me from facing the real problems in my life, which i find impossible to control..

I don't know if this is making any sense at all to you, but i feel i'm understanding the Yi a little bit better and felt the need to share this joy . I do tend to speak an "emotional language" and this is my personal way of learning..associating facts with feelings...

Sorry for another long post!
Would love to read your thoughts
Love,
A.

angeleyes said:

7
Then i thougth i'd ask a second question: "Why am i so afraid ?".

This is where 7 unchanged comes into the picture.. I've always had a difficulty understanding that one.. I've read about it. thought about it, but never really "felt" it. I started looking it up in my books and here and there was one word that kept coming: "Defense" and then "Defensive mechanisms". So, i thought about how when in a state of panic, what is happening in a psychological level is that all defense mechanisms are alert because they're being attacked! Defense mechanism are a good thing because they protect the psyche from overloading and when outside conditions are threatening, the whole defensive system risks collapsing and sometimes it does for a brief moment until it regains it's order..And defense mechanisms are a "bad" thing when they serve the purpose of helping you avoid reality..

So, my personal name for 7, would be "Defense". It could mean you need to build up your defenses, or you have to defend your vital space or, in my case, i believe it could even mean that this whole "my relationship is no good" thing is a big big defense mechanism that distracts me from facing the real problems in my life, which i find impossible to control..

A.

Click to expand...

makes senses and explains an old reading that remains unanswered in my mind

thanks for sharing

Bradford call it Militia
they are not professorial solders but common people that constitute an fighting force. Defense maybe is the call, the alarm sound, to leave their everyday activities and join the army. Like the inner alarm that warns us that a thread is coming and we must get organised to confront it.

That's a relief!

Thanks anemos!

Good to see my monologue made sense to somebody other than me! I was worried it might be too personal for anyone else to identify with.. I think the Militia dimention you put makes the picture of 7 a bit more clear in my mind (and the organization part which i could never fully understand). It feels so good getting one step closer to what was for me a "strange" hexagram before..Like working out a riddle little by little..Nice..:claps: