Can't figure this out

cirka09 · Jul 26, 2011

Recently I've been mulling over an attraction I have to a girl I know that just recently got out of a relationship. We're good friends, but I would like to be more at some point. Last night I was having doubts about the path I'm on so I asked
"what should I do about the desire I have to be with her?"
The answer was 32 unchanging. > The superior man stands firm and does not change his direction.

That left me a bit confused. What direction was it speaking about? My desire to be with her? Or the thought of giving up? So this morning I asked a follow up question.
"What course of action am I supposed to stand firm on?"
The answer to that one was 31.5 > 62
This is a tough line for me and I'm not sure what it''s saying...

Can anyone offer any insight?

Thanks.

One other thing to share. I asked why I feel like giving up and the answer was 19.3 > 11.
I like Lise on this "When you are "nice" to others,they will inevitably disappoint you, because you expect something back..." This is true. So I need to just be myself, I know this. Still... I'm curious about the other two readings...

pocossin · Jul 27, 2011

What should I do about the desire I have to be with her?
32 unchanging

Continue to develop the friendship -- especially by talk (Xun) and electronic means (Zhun) -- and at some point it will be more.

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

Thank you. This is what I was thinking, but I always appreciate affirmation and encouragement.

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

unfortunately I don't think this is gonna happen. She's talking to someone else now. I don't know that I can be second best...

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

I asked what I should do now and the answer was 43.6 > 1
I'm too distraught to figure this out... what is it saying?

Trojina · Jul 27, 2011

cirka09 said:
I asked what I should do now and the answer was 43.6 > 1
I'm too distraught to figure this out... what is it saying?

That if you don't speak out to her about your feelings and intentions, ie you wanna be her guy, you will regret it.

Speak, communicate with her or you lose out !

Don't talk to us go and find her and talk to her and say what you want to happen...ask her out, whatever...

pocossin · Jul 27, 2011

Speak up for yourself. Let her know how your feel.

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

Well she told me she was up late texting and i told her I have to admit, I wish it were me. Does that count or do I need to be more discreet?

Trojina · Jul 27, 2011

cirka09 said:
Well she told me she was up late texting and i told her I have to admit, I wish it were me. Does that count or do I need to be more discreet?

Well its quite a direct thing to say but perhasp you need to make some kindof direct proposal.

It is hard for women to know how to react to insinuations like this...I mean what is she supposed to say to your comment that would move things forward ? She would probably be saying to her friends 'i don't get it he makes these commentslike helikes me but he doesn't seem to ask me out'.

Try being more direct....like ask her out ?

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

Done. I asked her out for drinks on Saturday.

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

She's going out to dinner with the other guy Saturday night.... looks like I lost out...

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

Last reading for this situation, then I'm done. "Please tell me what to do about K?"
16.2.4 > 7

Is this telling me to hold on? To not be discouraged about this situation?

Trojina · Jul 27, 2011

cirka09 said:
Last reading for this situation, then I'm done. "Please tell me what to do about K?"
16.2.4 > 7

Is this telling me to hold on? To not be discouraged about this situation?

Well yes I see it that way.

She isn't refusing you outright is she shes just trying options.

I wouldn't give up if I were you, not withthis reading,...unless she makes it clear she really isn't interested. I think persistence is quite an effective male wooing behaviour. Most of the men I ever went out with I only did because they just kept going on and on about it till I grew fond of them. :rofl:

I think a little bit of pushiness can make her feel desired. Trouble is of course you have to know where to stop or it could border on harrassment but you aren't stupid are you ...sounds like she hasn't told you to go away, sounds like she may be trying to make you jealous the way she keep telling you abouthow this other guy is texting her etc

Perhaps you could think of some imaginative way to get her attention and time...don't know why I say that but 16 is pretty lively and imaginative. Theres alot of zest in the reading...so don't give up yet

Trojina · Jul 27, 2011

BTW romance readings don't tend to promise things . One can't count on this all coming together. But with 16.2.4>7 I'd say this is not time to give up, not at all.

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

I also read that 16.2 can indicate not to be mislead by illusions. I have had the thought in my head that this is a guy she is going to start dating and thats game over for me. THAT is an illusion becasue I have no evidence to base that conclusion on... It's just an irrational fear. For all i know they could just be going to dinner becase she just got out of a relationship and wants to see an old friend. She's going to go through a lot of changes... including rebounds... and I absolutely do not want to be a rebound. I haven't been pushy. When she told me she was going to dinner I just said "ok, If there's some other day you're available I'd like to go out." and I intend to leave it at that for now.

She also surprised me by offering to let me spend the day with her dog that I adore and she knows I miss. I think I might just need to do what the line says. don't be misled, stand firm, QUIT WORRING, and and some point good fortune withh come my way.

Trojina · Jul 27, 2011

cirka09 said:
I also read that 16.2 can indicate not to be mislead by illusions. I have had the thought in my head that this is a guy she is going to start dating and thats game over for me. THAT is an illusion becasue I have no evidence to base that conclusion on... It's just an irrational fear. For all i know they could just be going to dinner becase she just got out of a relationship and wants to see an old friend. She's going to go through a lot of changes... including rebounds... and I absolutely do not want to be a rebound. I haven't been pushy. When she told me she was going to dinner I just said "ok, If there's some other day you're available I'd like to go out." and I intend to leave it at that for now.
She also surprised me by offering to let me spend the day with her dog that I adore and she knows I miss. I think I might just need to do what the line says. don't be misled, stand firm, QUIT WORRING, and and some point good fortune withh come my way.

Yes sounds like you have left it pretty clear and open.., seems to me you should just keep steady in relating to her since your original reading 32 to me says you should keep on going like you have been. Theres time for this to develop...and um if she let you spend the day with her dog (lol that sounds funny) she must like you.

I don't know why it makes me think of the dog in 'Family Guy' cartoon

Trojina · Jul 27, 2011

16 is about building images, making ready, planning, enthusiasm, so it can include anything from true inspiration to total delusion. You don't sound especially deluded to me, you sound more enthusiastic generating thoughts about making a date happen and so on, where you might go, what you might do. And hex 7 shows you are or could be treating it as almost a bit of a 'project'.

Which is fine really. At this stage there is planning involved. Theres often the question of what to wear for example for maximum impact. I think getting ready for a night out is very 16ish, thinking about ones image, looking ahead about how the date will be, trying 43 dresses on if you are female etc etc....

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

I love that dog and she knows it. I'm hoping this is just a rebound. One night day she still wants to try and work things out with her boyfriend and literally the next morning shes gung ho about this new guy. I don't want to see her hurt again...

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

Yeah but first i have to get that date lol

cirka09 · Jul 27, 2011

Just felt the need to share this. Maybe it has some bearing on my readings. for some reason, she felt the need to clarify things about this guy. I did not instigate this... she said "I'm really not dating g already I'm not that shitty of a person... I've been talkign to him alot but he knows the situation and its really not like that. i'm not saying that it won't turn into that but its not that now."

Ladies... I'm curious. Why tell a guy that?

Trojina · Jul 28, 2011

cirka09 said:
Just felt the need to share this. Maybe it has some bearing on my readings. for some reason, she felt the need to clarify things about this guy. I did not instigate this... she said "I'm really not dating g already I'm not that shitty of a person... I've been talkign to him alot but he knows the situation and its really not like that. i'm not saying that it won't turn into that but its not that now."

Ladies... I'm curious. Why tell a guy that?

I'd say she wants to give the message shes still open to approaches from other guys apart from him. She doesn't want to put you off trying with her. She also wants to show you she is not shallow, that she doesn't just go out with a new guy as soon as shes broken with the old one or something. I think shes also saying she'd like some time, shes not ready to have a full on relationship now but shes not against something developing in the future

This ties in with your 32 reading IMO and your other readings

If I were you I might feel a tad impatient at having to go slow here just to see if shes interested.....but I'm not you

It all depends how patient you are and how slow you want to go I guess.

This may just be my fancy or a projection or something I don't know but I reckon some kind of flamboyant gesture on your part might move things on...by which I mean soemthing overtly romantic or an invite to something a bit unusual or daring ? Probably the 16 is making me feel that

He invited her to dinner....you invited her for drinks...maybe you could up the pace a bit and do something a bit more dramatic ?...thats not the i ching its me so follow that advice at your own discretion lol

cirka09 · Jul 28, 2011

I will give this some thought and see what I can come up with. I am feeling impatient, but only with my self. I'm not showing it outwardly. And I agree, she'snot ready for a new relationship. I just have to find the determination to see this through. Something kind of flamboyant gesture, and romantic,.... I'm really going to have to ponder this. I"m a bit new to such things. Would you have any suggestions? A metaphorical example perhaps?

cirka09 · Jul 28, 2011

maybe this will give some insight. "What advice can you give me to help move things along?"
62.5 > 31
HA! Lise on this "If you have an intuition but nothing concrete, nothing conscious, then act with caution, but don't refrain from all action. Try something. Make a guess. Everything is better than freezing..."

Lol kind of describes what I'm doing, yeah? Trying to figure something out? Do something! It tell me.

Trojina · Jul 28, 2011

Oh I don't know if i agree with Lise on that, but I don't know exactly what i do think of 62.5....shooting a tethered arrow at something in a confined space so you can't miss it anyway ?

BTW I can't help you with ideas for flamboyant gestures.....that would be Toms area of expertise, how to woo ladies that is...

Mind you 62 doesn't advise flamboyance so i cudda been off the mark there heh

62.5 well I kinda see it as 'a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush' . Somethings there to take that may not be big game but it is there...hmm perhaps I can see more where Lise is coming from here..Hilary talks of hunting in a smaller area to get your game

She is your game....it could be you already have a good part of her, you just have to capture the rest

I hope someone else comes along to discuss 62.5 in relation to your question becasue I get the sense this is good pragmatic advice but i can't unravel it too well

cirka09 · Jul 28, 2011

Capturing the rest might go back to 32. Maybe I need to be patient and determined. Keep interracting and hope for the best?

Trojina · Jul 28, 2011

well 32 suggests an enduring relationship, theres no rush about it, its quite stable so theres a good basis there for more ...

...however 32 also tends to show that things go on as they have been, as they are usually. I think all you can do is continue in the manner you have been for now. You asked her out, what more can you do except ask her again some time

shame the dog can't talk he could put in a good word for you

cirka09 · Jul 28, 2011

This is true. I'll just keep persevering.

cirka09 · Jul 28, 2011

I would also welcome further insight into 62.5. Soif anyone is keeping up, chime in!

white owl · Jul 29, 2011

Ding Dong! (thats my chime)Tell her how much you would love to kiss her! (just another insight)

cirka09 · Jul 29, 2011

Haha! I would love to tell her that. But wouldn't that be something big? 62 seems to indicate small things. Although I guess that would put the arrow right smack in the middle of where I want it.

Can't figure this out

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