future between me and him? Hex 23.3.5.

star123 · Sep 25, 2011

Hi everybody,

I just asked iching to give some insight about what will the future look like between me and bf. I got hex 23.3.5 to hex 53. It is hard to understand what iching wants to say because hex 23 is extremely bad for relationship, especially 23.3, which talks about departure. But Hex 53 is extremely good for relationship. Does anyone has any thoughts? Thanks!!

Trojina · Sep 25, 2011

53 is about gradual progress so maybe you are in the process of gradually drifting away from this person

nicky_p · Sep 25, 2011

I've had hex 23 before when asking about relationships and thought that the end was nigh! But we're still together

It can just be stripping away as opposed to splitting apart, so getting down to the nitty gritty and past all those pretences that we build around us and seeing if there is anything behind it. Also one line says no blame and the other that everything acts to further, add that to your relating hex of 53 I don't necessarily see it as a really bad omen for a relationship.

star123 · Sep 25, 2011

Thank you for sharing your experience. We kinda need to fix some problems between us right now. As a matter of fact, we are having a lot of issues right now. So I guess it is the same situation as yours before? I was confused because hex 23 and hex 53 look like two completely opposite in terms of relationships. So I am not sure I should be happy or should be worried.

As for trojan, thanks for trying to help. But I would prefer more detailed explanation how you got that. No offense, but it doesn't really make sense to me because hex 23 should happen before hex 53. and your interpretation is they are happening simultaneously.

nicky_p said:
I've had hex 23 before when asking about relationships and thought that the end was nigh! But we're still together It can just be stripping away as opposed to splitting apart, so getting down to the nitty gritty and past all those pretences that we build around us and seeing if there is anything behind it. Also one line says no blame and the other that everything acts to further, add that to your relating hex of 53 I don't necessarily see it as a really bad omen for a relationship.

goddessliss · Sep 26, 2011

star123 said:
As for trojan, thanks for trying to help. But I would prefer more detailed explanation how you got that. No offense, but it doesn't really make sense to me because hex 23 should happen before hex 53. and your interpretation is they are happening simultaneously.

Really? in my readings I don't believe you can have one without the other so as I understand things. both Hexes are happening simultaneously.
Resulting from or resulting to it still figures to me it is happening at the same time. Liss

diamanda · Sep 26, 2011

Your answer sounds to me like your bf is pretty much a ladies man, ie he
really likes a crowd of admirers, and even if he temporarily seems to be
cutting away from that lifestyle, he will stil revert back to it. Then if you
decide you truly want to stick with him, you'll have to turn a blind eye so
to speak, and just opt for not saying a word. I know it sounds weird, but
in reality very many women do just that, if they really want to keep the
particular man. So i get the impression that if you do that, then after
quite a bit of ups and downs, the guy will stick with you in the end for
a very nice future together.

Trojina · Sep 26, 2011

star123 said:
Thank you for sharing your experience. We kinda need to fix some problems between us right now. As a matter of fact, we are having a lot of issues right now. So I guess it is the same situation as yours before? I was confused because hex 23 and hex 53 look like two completely opposite in terms of relationships. So I am not sure I should be happy or should be worried.

As for trojan, thanks for trying to help. But I would prefer more detailed explanation how you got that. No offense, but it doesn't really make sense to me because hex 23 should happen before hex 53. and your interpretation is they are happening simultaneously.

Hexagram 23 does not happen before 53 unless you are so new to the I Ching you still think the second hexagram is 'the future'. It isn't ...its the background, where you are coming from which of course does contain elements of where you are going

This seperating is happening gradually perhaps, its something you need to shed...or even as Nicky said something in the relationship you need to shed. Its very gradual though. You would not cast 23 without shedding happening somewhere in the situation.

23,3 and 23.5 are the least painful lines of 23 so thats why i said 'drifting' apart. In 23.3 one voluntarily lets go of things that aren't working...its not like someone finishing with you..you let them go..gradually letting them them go perhaps because of other connections coming (23.5)

"No offense" but I won't be trying to help you again as I have the impression you are only open to 'nice ending' answers right now

star123 · Sep 27, 2011

Hi Diamanda, you're right. he is pretty much a ladies man (he used to be a player when he was young). I am really curious how you got this because I couldn't even understand what the to changing lines are trying to say. And thank you for your answer, I really appreciate it.

diamanda said:
Your answer sounds to me like your bf is pretty much a ladies man, ie he
really likes a crowd of admirers, and even if he temporarily seems to be
cutting away from that lifestyle, he will stil revert back to it. Then if you
decide you truly want to stick with him, you'll have to turn a blind eye so
to speak, and just opt for not saying a word. I know it sounds weird, but
in reality very many women do just that, if they really want to keep the
particular man. So i get the impression that if you do that, then after
quite a bit of ups and downs, the guy will stick with you in the end for
a very nice future together.

star123 · Sep 27, 2011

Trojan, I am kinda new to iching (and I didn't have any kind of trainings). I saw some people said the second hex is 'the future', that's why I think it's the 'future'. So come on, don't stop helping me as I know you're a nice person. and I appreciate that you tried to help me before.

trojan said:
Hexagram 23 does not happen before 53 unless you are so new to the I Ching you still think the second hexagram is 'the future'. It isn't ...its the background, where you are coming from which of course does contain elements of where you are going

This seperating is happening gradually perhaps, its something you need to shed...or even as Nicky said something in the relationship you need to shed. Its very gradual though. You would not cast 23 without shedding happening somewhere in the situation.

23,3 and 23.5 are the least painful lines of 23 so thats why i said 'drifting' apart. In 23.3 one voluntarily lets go of things that aren't working...its not like someone finishing with you..you let them go..gradually letting them them go perhaps because of other connections coming (23.5)

"No offense" but I won't be trying to help you again as I have the impression you are only open to 'nice ending' answers right now

chingching · Sep 27, 2011

I think the prsence of 53 is a lovely combo for 23, I read in memorizing threads of 23 sparhawk saying something like 23 can feel like taking a band aid off quickly (I may be mixing who said this up and what was actually said, am not going to look it up though) well 53 would be the knowing way to take off a bandaid, nice and slow so it doesnt rip all your hair (and sometimes skin) with it, leaving you bleeding. Instead the gradualness means the the two separated things stay intact and the process is painless. Thats just a metaphor , not a prediction...just something to think on.

Trojina · Sep 27, 2011

star123 said:
Trojan, I am kinda new to iching (and I didn't have any kind of trainings). I saw some people said the second hex is 'the future', that's why I think it's the 'future'. So come on, don't stop helping me as I know you're a nice person. and I appreciate that you tried to help me before.

No, thats just a vicious rumour put about...don't listen to it, I'm vile

Heh I kinda liked the way chingching put it about the sticking plaster...and i don't think its a definate prediction that you'll split up...just somewhere along the line theres a gradual peeling away and as you asked about the future of the relationship in general terms thats how it appears to me...as painless as any peeling away can be.

diamanda · Sep 27, 2011

star123 said:
Hi Diamanda, you're right. he is pretty much a ladies man (he used to be a player when he was young). I am really curious how you got this because I couldn't even understand what the to changing lines are trying to say. And thank you for your answer, I really appreciate it.

Line 23:3 speaks about stripping without blame.
Line 23:5 speaks of a string of fish and court ladies, sounds like a string of affairs.
Hidden line 52:5 speaks about keeping one's jaw still, not talking, minding words.
And 53 is about a traditional wedding/marriage.
So the whole thing gave me the feeling of a guy who would like the type of 'traditional'
marriage in which he has his cake and eats some more on the side :-/

chingching · Sep 27, 2011

53 has the story of traditional marriage to it but it doesnt necessarily signify that. At its base its something that gradually develops through progress and stages, which is shown with the geese and the lines.

My friend is going to marry at the weekend and its a traditional asyrian wedding, and she's italian so some italian traditions are thrown in there too and general western ones. Literally this whole year my whole social life has been attending celebrations for this wedding and occassion to ocassion I have watched her change from the first occasion where she yelled at her mum the whole time and felt controlled by her fiances mother and sister, to the bridal shower where she was the life of the party and then the hen's night where she just seemed really at home with herself and very connected with her family.

Other processes can grow us, doesnt have to be a wedding, but the formalised structure and obligatory events of marriage give a sort of alembic to the process of transformation, (transformation can be gleaned from line 6) and a nice metaphor.

What are your plans for this relationship? Do you plan on marrying him, or do you hope to? If you both plan on marrying each other this could be read as having a vow ending but through a process of stripping, which could be very fertile indeed. If one of you doesn't want to get married, then we could read this as in terms of any future marriage there will be splitting shedding, what have you...do you see where I'm going...(what if neither fo you want a traditional marriage??)

Can't you ask your partner what his thoughts are on your future? It just seems like some of your ponderings could be answered with a frank discussion. Yi can only tell you so much really. Whatever the outward manifestation of the future , you'll be going through gradual process of decomposing (bradford) that which cannot last. Also gleaning from bradford's ebook, whatever the situation is right now is decomposing so no point following a direction with that.

It's good for things as they will be. Try going in that direction

Trojina · Sep 27, 2011

I'd just like to add that when i say 53 is gradual....I mean boy is it gradual in my experience anyway. Nothing can be rushed, everything has to happen in the right way at the right time which is partly why i think its linked to marriage in meaning, not because of romance but because courtship and traditional marriage (in ancient china presumably) had to go through certain stages. This had at least as much to do with form, ceremony, the 'proper' unfolding of the sequence of events, as it did with what we think of as romance

star123 · Sep 28, 2011

Thank you for sharing so much with me, chingching. Actually let me give some more detail about my situation. I have been wanted to marry him for a while. I have been with him for almost three years now. The whole relationship keeps going up and down, up and down...I don't blame all on him. I was very immature in terms of handling relationship problems. For example, a year ago, I would look him up on his facebook, twitter, etc. see who he's talking to (he doesn't let me to add him on any of these social networks). Every time I saw him talking to girls (sometimes flirtatious), I flipped out on him right away. Sometimes I got devastated. So now even I don't do any of these, he still think I check on him and he keeps saying I have mental problem because I got so emotional about some of the things. I don't think I am the only girl has problems like that, but he doesn't like girls who are too emotional. So when I told him I love him and I want to marry him one day, he said he can't see himself spending his life with me. That's why I am really confused. I don't know if I am wasting my time. I don't know if one day he will change his mind and want to marry me. So that's the reason I asked iching, kinda hoping iching could tell me the future for me. But I think you're right about "whatever the situation is right now is decomposing so no point following a direction with that."

chingching said:
53 has the story of traditional marriage to it but it doesnt necessarily signify that. At its base its something that gradually develops through progress and stages, which is shown with the geese and the lines.

My friend is going to marry at the weekend and its a traditional asyrian wedding, and she's italian so some italian traditions are thrown in there too and general western ones. Literally this whole year my whole social life has been attending celebrations for this wedding and occassion to ocassion I have watched her change from the first occasion where she yelled at her mum the whole time and felt controlled by her fiances mother and sister, to the bridal shower where she was the life of the party and then the hen's night where she just seemed really at home with herself and very connected with her family.

Other processes can grow us, doesnt have to be a wedding, but the formalised structure and obligatory events of marriage give a sort of alembic to the process of transformation, (transformation can be gleaned from line 6) and a nice metaphor.

What are your plans for this relationship? Do you plan on marrying him, or do you hope to? If you both plan on marrying each other this could be read as having a vow ending but through a process of stripping, which could be very fertile indeed. If one of you doesn't want to get married, then we could read this as in terms of any future marriage there will be splitting shedding, what have you...do you see where I'm going...(what if neither fo you want a traditional marriage??)

Can't you ask your partner what his thoughts are on your future? It just seems like some of your ponderings could be answered with a frank discussion. Yi can only tell you so much really. Whatever the outward manifestation of the future , you'll be going through gradual process of decomposing (bradford) that which cannot last. Also gleaning from bradford's ebook, whatever the situation is right now is decomposing so no point following a direction with that.

star123 · Sep 28, 2011

Alright, guess we have made peace with each other now. Hey, I am posting another thread for a question about job. Please help me with it.

Her explanation does make a lot of sense to me, especially after looking at the whole relationship.

trojan said:
No, thats just a vicious rumour put about...don't listen to it, I'm vile

Heh I kinda liked the way chingching put it about the sticking plaster...and i don't think its a definate prediction that you'll split up...just somewhere along the line theres a gradual peeling away and as you asked about the future of the relationship in general terms thats how it appears to me...as painless as any peeling away can be.

chingching · Sep 28, 2011

yeah... It doesnt sound like the relationship is in the right place for a big commitment.

but he doesn't like girls who are too emotional

...
I know I have tried to change myself for someone more than once, and then I've meet people who like me the way I am... who I've preferred to be with is a no brainer.

star123 · Oct 16, 2011

Sorry haven't checked the comments for a while, appreciate your helps though

chingching said:
yeah... It doesnt sound like the relationship is in the right place for a big commitment.
...
I know I have tried to change myself for someone more than once, and then I've meet people who like me the way I am... who I've preferred to be with is a no brainer.

MethodNix · Dec 23, 2019

Hello everyone!

Could we possibly get an update on this one?

I asked Iching similar question (what's the result of my last conversation with my ex (the one that got away) concerning our relationship) and got 23.3.5 to 53. This thread is really helpfull in interpreting the answer - especially the part of a ladies man wanting to settle down, but not really.

Our relationship was quite intense, but all of the signs (not Iching related) were (and are) that we are not mean to be. And we are apart for years, and I have tried to date and always ended other relationships because something was missing. But still, after all these years, I can't help but wonder and wish (especially now that he called) because I really, really feel something that I never could with anyone else.

Update would be great, but some other thoughts too. Thank you.

...life can be translucent

future between me and him? Hex 23.3.5.

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