Hi,

Please help me with this confusing answer. It is almost 6 months after my ex left me and soon after entered another relationship. It was my fault, I messed up badly, but I loved her honestly and I still do. First few months she insisted on keeping contact, but for every step I made towards, she made two back. Last few months we had very rare contact (for two months no contact at all), and every time she initiated it, but it was cold and followed by even more distance. I tried to be honestly apologizing, indifferent, forgiving, supportive, just a friend (which was her idea in the first place), and every time she agreed verbally and then immediately did something to destroy chances for any progress. So, although I am still missing her like crazy, I am sick and tired of her pictures with new bf on facebook and things like that. So yesterday I decided to give up on my hopes.

So I asked I Ching: "If I give up on her now, move completely out of sight*, what will be her reaction? Will it be over for good?"

*I did that once for two months already as I said, and she contacted me but even colder than before

The answer was 42.3,4,5 > 30.

My first conclusion was that it will make her increase the contact and/or maybe pull her towards me... but than I thought it may also mean that I should increase contact (which seems very hard and unproductive every time I try - more unproductive than getting out of sight).

I am a person of hard will. I know that I could restore my inner peace and get much better if decide to give up. However, I need to be convinced that there is nothing else left. I think that this person is someone I could spend the rest of my life with, if I only didn't made that one terrible mistake which led to sudden breakup. So, I also don't want to give up if there is some hope. Another option is to keep in sight until eventually things go bad with her new bf, and hopefully get my 5 minutes one day.

Please tell me your opinions. Thank you!

I find that it helps to ask one question at a time for a clearer response. For example, "
"If I give up on her now, move completely out of sight*, what will be her reaction?
and then, if you still have uncertainty follow up with "If I give up on her now, move completely out of sight*,Will it be over for good?"

It is difficult to determine which part of the answer is responding to which question when there are two questions...

ok, here are the answers?

"If I give up on her now, move completely out of sight*, what will be her reaction?
63 no changing lines

"Is our relationship over for good?"
27.1,2,3,4,5 > 44

Thanks for answer!

If I try to interpret this, I would say that 63 means that if I get out of sight, she will consider the relationship complete (63) and give up on it too. However, if I stick around, and provide some support (27) for her, we will have some contact, but she will feel too dominant, and no good for me (44). So either way, no hope for healthy relationship.

The only thing that confuse me still is initial 42>30, because it seems like a positive answer. Furthermore, about week ago I asked "if we ever get together again, when will it be?" and tried to use Ricardo Andree method to determine time, and get 42.1,3>53. So this increase is definitely confuse me...

Please, any thoughts?

dohara said:

ok, here are the answers?

"If I give up on her now, move completely out of sight*, what will be her reaction?
63 no changing lines

"Is our relationship over for good?"
27.1,2,3,4,5 > 44

Thanks for answer!

Click to expand...

63 is ending and 27 with all those changing lines..
http://www.pathfinder.3rdmilieux.com/i-ching-tao-of-power-art-of-war-hexagram-27-growth.html

it's far too many changing lines for such a yes/no question. (I could Swear I heard somewhere that you should never ask Yi a yes/no question but most of us do)

42-30 could be saying that somehow, even though there is attraction, things don't fit on a large (community scale?) I don't know what the bad thing you did was, but it's clearly pretty bad if she broke up with you and immediately started seeing someone else. God knows why she is still in touch with you (still has feelings for you maybe but can't forgive you? - wild conjecture obviously).

The thing that throws me is that you say you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with her. That's pretty major. Does she know you feel that way about her?

Thank you very much for valuable answers.

Well, I lied for a very long time about very important thing... I have a strong feeling that she is still attracted to me (or was until recently), and I know that she broke up out of desperation. We had amazing compatibility and no other relationship problems at all. At first, other guy (her friend who was waiting his turn) was just a sedative and a way to hurt me back, but it seems to me that he turned out fine. I apologized honestly several times, offered to redeem my self in any way, said that I see her as my life long partner etc. Her answer was that if it is true love we will find each other one day again. I love that girl regardless of anything and I know that I can make things right, but I never got a second chance. So she left to the destiny to decide. And so far, destiny is an other guy's best friend

I am trying to ask I Ching if I should do the same... how can I formulate the question?

Have you actually asked Yi "Is this girl right for me?" because we often feel like we want stuff that isn't good for us (like chocolate and wine and um..you know)

Yes, actually I did several times. Every time I got hexagrams like Creative, Earth, Vessel, Seeking Union, Increase etc. Everything I considered very positive.

Look, I am reading explanations for 27 on the link you sent me. Everything seems to apply amazingly. Thank you for that link. It seems that I lost something valuable because I was careless and I will not get another chance to get it back... only maybe a good lesson. Thank you very much again. I will probably regret that for the rest of my life...