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Getting back in touch with a lost friend - 38.1.2.6 > 16

ddream

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Long story short, I met a man a few months ago. We clicked instantly upon meeting each other. We had so much in common. We went separate ways because he told he wasn't ready for a relationship and I wasn't ready to only be his friend. My feelings for him were too strong at the time. He took it really badly that I didn't want to see him again. I explained to him how I felt, but he didn't really understand. It really shocked me that he reacted that way, but I moved on. It's been a few months now and I would really like to get back in touch with him. I don't have any feelings for him anymore, but I think he is a great guy and we have so much in common and I would really appreciate keeping in touch with him. I already tried a few times awhile ago, but he never replied to me.

This morning, I sent him a friend request on Facebook. I thought I would have been able to attach a message, but it seems you can't anymore. So, as soon as I clicked on "Add friend" it sent the request. It's too late because he probably received an e-mail notification. So, I decided to leave things that way and I asked a question a question to the I-Ching.

I asked: How will he act toward the friend request I sent him?
I got: 38.1.2.6 > 16

Overall, can I except him to maybe accept my friend request? I guess I'm just concerned because I couldn't attach a message to the request I sent. I feel it would have been better to attach a message to it.

Line 1 seems to be talking about me.
Line 2 seems to be talking about the situation as it is and perhaps in the future.
Line 6 I'm not sure who it's referring to.

Line 1

When a man begins to encounter opposition, he should not attempt to bring about reconciliation by force. He will only provoke greater opposition. Just as the horse that is pursued will continue to run ever further away, so will the opposition continue. With evil men one should be particularly cautious. It is impossible to dismiss them forcibly, or ignore them. One should endure their company until they leave of their own accord.

Line 2

This is an accidental encounter, possibly between people who have not been on speaking terms for some time. But the street is narrow and there is no way they can avoid one another. Friendly relations are re-established.

Line 6

Here one has kept oneself aloof so long that one cannot recognize one’s true friends. They appear as treacherous and unclean as a pig in his sty or as a wagon full of devils. One’s first reaction is to defend oneself. Only in due course does one realize that the apparent enemy is in reality a friend. As the soft rain of summer cleanses the dirt and dust from everything, so ones doubts are swept away and one advances toward a successful outcome. This text is often quoted as an example of the obscurity of the I Ching.
 

dragona

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Hi, men are different then women in these things..I dare say its too much fretting form your side (hex 16), though it is just a friend request and if the person did not block you, you should be able to send a message in his inbox. Perhaps you should do so-keep it short and clear and see what happens. Good luck:)
 

ddream

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Hi, men are different then women in these things..I dare say its too much fretting form your side (hex 16), though it is just a friend request and if the person did not block you, you should be able to send a message in his inbox. Perhaps you should do so-keep it short and clear and see what happens. Good luck:)

Yes, I probably worry too much. I decided to go with a friend request because when I attempted to contact him in the past, he never replied. It's hard to say if he received my messages though. When you send a message to someone who's not in your friends list on Facebook the message goes in the "Other" folder. It doesn't send an e-mail to you and it doesn't show any notifications at the top of the screen either. It happened to me one time. Someone from work sent me a message and I was like: "Really? I didn't receive any e-mails and I didn't see any notifications at the top of the screen." And the message had been sitting there for weeks. I just happened to notice there was a "1" beside "Other" one day and finally saw her message. So, I guess I still hope he never saw my message and a friend request will work better.
 

dragona

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hehe, takes one to know one (worrier :hug:)..i get notofications anyway, so not sure. But line 6 speaks of being clear on your intentions, so perhaps stick to what you have wrote.
 

ddream

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hehe, takes one to know one (worrier :hug:)..i get notofications anyway, so not sure. But line 6 speaks of being clear on your intentions, so perhaps stick to what you have wrote.

Yes, that line worries me a little bit. That's why I'm not sure if I should send him a message or not with the friend request. I already told him awhile ago that I find it too bad to lose him as a friend. Well, if you think it would be better to send him a message, I think I will.
 

ddream

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Is it too much if I send him that:
3.3.4.6 > 13

Hi x,

I sincerely would like to get back in touch with you. I attempted many times to do it, but with no results. I probably should stop trying, but I rarely meet people with whom I have so much in common. I really want to keep you in my life as a friend. Honestly, I thought I was the only person in the world to know and to love <name of the song> from <name of the artist>. Now, that's rare!

So, I'm attempting to get in contact with you for a last time in hopes that we can start talking again. I needed time, but I think I did a mistake. It's much more important to have friends. You can always count on them. So, why lose a good friendship?

ddream
 

dragona

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Ahm, I red this as yes, I want to renew a contact, I need help in doing so, but line 6 says it is not to be too persistant.
If I was a guy, I bet I would be saying leave it alone, send nothing in addition :rolleyes:
And most certainly, don`t loose any more energy on it - that I can even say from my personal experiance :brickwall:
I meant, somethng like one sentence alone...but if you feel strongly about saying something, why not, for the peace of your mind.
 

ddream

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I personally would prefer leaving things as they are, a friend request without a message. I doubt he will accept it, but it's my last attempt.
 

dragona

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yes, perhaps so, cos we are seen as weak if we persist in kindness...I had somebody cut me off after moths of communication, so I can understand your feelings..somebody said here something very simple yet profound, summs up to "If you love somebody, set them free, untangle them so they can return on their own accord, because it is the way of love". Easier said then done, but certainly worth trying for our own personal sake.
 

ddream

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Well... I just saw that he accepted my friend request. I'm really surprised. I guess I'll wait a few days before sending him a message. I don't want to do too much.
 

precision grace

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I have always found that as soon as you stop giving a damn they all come rushing back :D joke aside, there is something about placing too much attention on something which actually ends up pushing it away rather that drawing it closer..it's kind of physics of the metaphysics..
 

ddream

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It's true, Precision Grace. Often, that's what happens. Well, I did end up sending him a little text. I just said: "Hi! I just wanted to say that I'm happy you accepted my request. I hope we'll eventually start talking again. I would really like to get back in touch with you and to get some news from you. See you later. DDream."

It's been over a week now. I guess it's clear he won't answer. But I wonder why he accepted my request if he still doesn't want to talk to me. What's the point? So, I asked two questions. It's funny because I got the same resulting hexagram for both question: 59. Now, it seems every time I ask questions, it relates to instead of relating to him like I really want to. So, are these answers I received relating to me again or are they explaining why he just really doesn't want to talk to me? Is it telling me I should somehow stop trying so hard? I've tried so many times to show him I still care. I feel I somehow hurt him, but it's him to hurt me. I wanted to get away from him because he hurt me. I wanted to have a relationship with him and he didn't. I couldn't be his friend at the time even though I really wanted to. I still don't understand why he got mad when I told him I didn't want to see him again. I literally opened my heart. I told him how much it hurt me to stop seeing him because I felt so good with him. I told him it's not what I wanted, but I simply couldn't stay friend with him at the time because I saw him as more than a friend. I told him all that and he got mad. I never would have thought he would have reacted this way. I'll probably never understand. Maybe he just doesn't care as much as me or as much as I wish he would and I should simply accept it and move on. But I just don't see the point of accepting my request if he doesn't want to get in contact again.

Why didn't he answer me? 9.1.3 > 59

Why did he accept my request if he doesn't want to talk to me? 32.3.4.5.6 > 59
 
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dragona

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Why didn't he answer me? 9.1.3 > 59
Perhaps he is still trying to work it out in his mind and you are (seems to him) pushing it?
You probabily want to smooth things out so the atmosphere would be clearer, sort of speak but line 3 says:The third NINE, undivided, suggests the idea of a carriage, the strap beneath which has been removed, or of a husband and wife looking on each other with averted eyes. Legge
Here an attempt is made to press forward forcibly, in the consciousness that the obstructing power is slight. But since, under the circumstances, power actually lies with the weak, this sudden offensive is doomed to failure. External conditions hinder the advance, just as loss of the wheel spokes stops the progress of a wagon. We do not yet heed this hint form fate, hence there are annoying arguments like those of a married couple. Naturally this is not a favorable state of thing, for though the situation may enable the weaker side to hold its ground, the difficulties are too numerous to permit of a happy result. In consequence even the strong man cannot so use his power as to exert the right influence on those around him. He experiences a rebuff where he expected an easy victory, and he thus compromises his dignity. Wilhelm
Remember you said you want to start anew, a friendship - but if you insist a lot and do not take the easy going approach here, it may look as if you are after more. There may be a lot of work ahead, so easy does it.
Hope this helps.
 

ddream

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Yes, it does help. Thank you. I think I realized it was time to let go and that's what I did. I still haven't heard from him. If he eventually wants to talk to me, he know where to find me.
 

hopex

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Hi how did this pan out? I see its recent

I was looking up 38.1.2.6>16 myself and came across this.
ddream if you are still checking in I am thinking you are seeing
opposition where there may be none. 38 says there can be harmony
over small things - but bigger issues can feel life threatening

the acceptance of a friendship request shows all good - 16 says keep
it light hearted.

The resultant hexagrams after texting show small steps needed and
59 coming up twice shows big heavy walls coming down. This dude
has been hurt in a major way or is a very sensitive type -

masculine energy men like to take the lead - in which case wait
feminine energy men like to be coddled in which case go protect
and cherish him

think of his style and respect the barriers that need to blow away in 59
namaste:bows:
 

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