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Which Joy is real?? 58.4.5>19

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In today's exciting episode!
Im having trouble with this situation with my (ex)husband and my current boyfriend. I love my ex so much (we'll call him "R") but he's in prison for a very long time and I stayed true to him but it just really got to be too much to handle, so we talk on the phone, but I decided I had to live my life. I met a wonderful young man and we've been dating for a while now (we'll refer to him as "P.") Its gotten serious quite quickly, but hes a bit younger than me and I admit its always in the back of my mind that it cant last, or Im fooling myself that he's capable of a real relationship on my level at his age etc etc. But hes such a precious darling and then I feel bad, maybe Im projecting my past relationships on to him. So I go back and forth with trying to be positive and fear of abandonment etc. But R is always my security blanket. He's always there if anything goes wrong, I can always go back to him, he cant leave me, he cant cheat on me, he's not going anywhere.
So my boyfriend P got into a legal issue and his mother took him far out of own to stay with some family to stay out of trouble until his court situation was over. Fine, good idea. Of course I wish him to be safe and God knows I dont want HIM incarcerated too! But later she told me she'd decided it was in his best interest not to bring him back at all. I was heartbroken for weeks. I spoke to him briefly through email but he was seemingly avoiding my questions concerning the future or our relationship etc. so I started feeling like he had moved on. So I went back to old security blanket R, and told him I guess P was gone. He was glad and there was a general feeling of reconciliation.
WELL, then P calls saying he'll be home on Sunday and he wasnt answering my questins because he wanted to surprise me. ugh! Now Im feeling like a total ass and dont know what to do. He could tell something was wrong, I told him Id talked to R (which I probably shouldve kept to myself) and he got jealous. I dont want to hurt or disrespect either one of them. R is gone for another 10 years but I love him and Ive honestly always planned to be with him when he gets out. Then P is coming home and I have serious feelings for him too but how seriously can I be about him, he's 21 and Im 34, but he's really wonderful to me and I dont want to discount him and not give him a chance. Whos to say its not possible?! Whos to say R and I would ever work out 10 or 15 years from now?!
SO today I asked the YI,
Q: "What is my best approach in my situation with R and P?"
A: 58 Joy, lines 4 and 5, to 19 Approach
So 58.4 I am definitely weighing where to get my joy from, and I admit I do feel I need to choose, as this kinda makes it sound. But I suppose I dont have to. R and I will always be close and I could just see what happens with P. But the fact that this line clearly points out that one of my choices is superior and one is inferior in nature makes me want to figure this out so I can remove the inferior influence from my life.
In looking at my choices, there are pros and cons to both. I see the possibility that the physical aspect of my relationship with my boyfriend P could be a "low" desire, but R has his "lows" as well. I just dont know which one it is.
58.5 "Im placing my trust in someone that will harm me." Oh crap! This definitely makes me feel I need to find out now!
And then 19 Approach.. this is like becoming great. So am I going to get my heart broken and its going to make me stronger? Am I going to figure out which one is the inferior man and cut him out of my life thus becoming grater? Is it saying, dont worry about finding out because the answer is approaching and youll find out in time? (screeeeeeam!!)
I want to ask another question to see which one is the 58.5 is referring to, but Im not sure how to word it.
Sorry this is so long. I appreciate any input what-so-ever!
 

pocossin

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What is my best approach in my situation with R and P?
58.4.5 > 19


I think your best approach is to continue with P and hope for the best with R. Joy is now, not delayed.

4. Joyousness that is weighed is not at peace.
After ridding himself of mistakes a man has joy.

Don't attempt to calculate the uncertain future but go with the best the moment offers.

5. Sincerity toward disintegrating influences is dangerous.

The 'disintegrating influences' are your enforced separation from R and the age difference with P, yet neither should prevent your present happiness. The Judgment of 19 suggests major changes in the future.
 
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Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your response. Its so hard for me to see things objectively sometimes. I just want to do the right thing.
 
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becalm

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OMG the suspense is 'killing' me to know what happened - guess we never will :(
 
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Freedda

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So let me see if I get this:

One lover is in prison; the other has legal troubles and has been taken somewhere by his mother. There is evasion and jealousy, and god knows what else. Is that about it?

So, which part of not relying on what can't be trusted or is unsustainable, or of taking responsibility for your life don't you understand? :duh:
 

Trojina

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So let me see if I get this:


You don't need to get it this thread is 7 years old !

becalm
OMG the suspense is 'killing' me to know what happened - guess we never will


I'm afraid it drives me insane when people just tack comments on to ancient threads because the result is always what has happened here. David just wasted time responding as if the thread were new.


So that is what people see, they see the first post from 2011 and answer that.


There's rules against necro posting in other forums I kind of wish there was here but it's not practical because the original poster might return. But people should realize every time they tack a comment onto an ancient thread people are going to respond like Freedda did as if it is current. What a waste of time


The original poster has not been here since March 2012 ! Do not respond to the query unless you really really want to waste your time answering someone who hasn't been here for 6 years and posted the thread 7 years ago !


Sorry just drives me mad as lots of people seem to do this and every time someone has to come along and tell them it's an old thread. Rant over.
 
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Freedda

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You don't need to get it ... this thread is 7 years old ! .... David just wasted time responding as if the thread were new.
Admittedly, I sometimes forget to look at the dates of the original posting, since I assume that since it's near the top of the SR list, it's something new. So, something to keep an eye on.

And from under which rock becalm dug it out from, or why ....?

As to wasting my time ... I don't feel that way. If nothing else, it was a good exercise in doing a reading with such odd characters and circumstances: a woman torn between two lovers: one, her 'true love' who is in prison for at least 10 more years (but at least we know he is not C. Manson); the other her young lover who has been swept away by his mother to keep him out of legal trouble ... but magically and mysteriously returns - and one wonders, with or without his mother's permission?

I mean, come on, who can resist it? And which Shakespeare play or porno film did this come from? Besides, in 3 or 4 more years, maybe we'll get to know what happens! :eek:uch:

D.
 

Trojina

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Admittedly, I sometimes forget to look at the dates of the original posting, since I assume that since it's near the top of the SR list, it's something new. So, something to keep an eye on.


No one would look at dates, why would they, I only spot it because, I don't know I just recognise it. You can't look at the date all the time. That's the point I'm making. When for some reason someone tacks a comment onto a very old thread everyone else in the forum thinks it's a new thread and starts answering. The solution is not to look at the dates the solution is for people to stop tacking comments on to old threads. Unfortunately there is no way to stop people doing that

I guess it's also down to the fact that you don't read the most recent comments just the first one and respond to that.



As to wasting my time ... I don't feel that way. If nothing else, it was a good exercise in doing a reading with such odd characters and circumstances: a woman torn between two lovers: one, her 'true love' who is in prison for at least 10 more years (but at least we know he is not C. Manson); the other her young lover who has been swept away by his mother to keep him out of legal trouble ... but magically and mysteriously returns - and one wonders, with or without his mother's permission?


I think it's a total waste of time answering someone who hasn't even been here for 6 years when there are other threads where people are actually here. But if you enjoy it, well up to you. If nothing was said a whole bunch of other people would start answering. I think it's daft. I mean you are asking her/him questions

One lover is in prison; the other has legal troubles and has been taken somewhere by his mother. There is evasion and jealousy, and god knows what else. Is that about it?

You are asking questions of a person who hasn't been here for 6 years - well who knows she might show up you never know



I mean, come on, who can resist it? And which Shakespeare play or porno film did this come from? Besides, in 3 or 4 more years, maybe we'll get to know what happens! :eek:uch:


I haven't even read it. I could easily resist it.
 
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becalm

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And from under which rock becalm dug it out from, or why ....? Well because I found it such a riveting story!!
 

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