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Do I need to be alone, should I break with my partner?

quinnius

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Question : "[I feel like ] I need to be single to do the work I need to do, [like]I have to make [ask] 'A' [to] leave me...

Tough Call.... I feel like I have a lot of work to do on myself... And I feel it is difficult to do that from within a relationship, especially a live in one... Which I said form the start I did not want.

The hexagrams I got are confusing...

Hexagram 42 lines 1, 3, 5, and 6 All positive except the last...as far as I can tell , then changing to Hex. 15 Integrity / Modesty.

I feel like its saying I should, and that I need to whole heartedly commit to setting out on a new path.. one that I have known I need to walk for a long time, I feel I'm running out of time, I'm 34 and fast heading toward a life of empty drudgery and mediocrity in all senses, spiritual as well as in ife generally.

I need to set to work now, that's how I feel, I'm fast running out of time and I'm being guilt tripped and manipulated into staying in a relationship I don't want to be in.

She loves me I think, but if she really loved me she'd let me go.

I understand it's hard when your attached to someone... But I really feel like I desperately need the time and space to work on myself and my chosen endeavours.

I'm not sure if the ching is supportive of this feeling or stance, or not....
Any thoughts?

Any Advice much appreciated...
 

yamabushi

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Question : "[I feel like ] I need to be single to do the work I need to do, [like]I have to make [ask] 'A' [to] leave me...

Tough Call.... I feel like I have a lot of work to do on myself... And I feel it is difficult to do that from within a relationship, especially a live in one... Which I said form the start I did not want.

The hexagrams I got are confusing...

Hexagram 42 lines 1, 3, 5, and 6 All positive except the last...as far as I can tell , then changing to Hex. 15 Integrity / Modesty.

I feel like its saying I should, and that I need to whole heartedly commit to setting out on a new path.. one that I have known I need to walk for a long time, I feel I'm running out of time, I'm 34 and fast heading toward a life of empty drudgery and mediocrity in all senses, spiritual as well as in ife generally.

I need to set to work now, that's how I feel, I'm fast running out of time and I'm being guilt tripped and manipulated into staying in a relationship I don't want to be in.

She loves me I think, but if she really loved me she'd let me go.

I understand it's hard when your attached to someone... But I really feel like I desperately need the time and space to work on myself and my chosen endeavours.

I'm not sure if the ching is supportive of this feeling or stance, or not....
Any thoughts?

Any Advice much appreciated...


just my quick opinion, you should not break up with your partner. You should work on yourself and correct errors (42) but you should continue with him with humility and carry it further...
 

Lavalamp

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You did not ask a question, you made a statement of your own feelings about wanting to be alone. So let's assume the question was
"Please comment on my feelings that I need to be alone to develop myself."

42.1 Great deeds and Good fortune are produced by unselfishness.
42.2 You are being gifted and benefitted in the highest of ways.
42.3 In a time of great blessing and enrichment, even what might normally might be unfortunate can turn into good fortune due to the special time.
42.5 If you are a kind person, you don't need to ask.

Hex. 15 Integrity / Modesty.
Being successful at anything requires integrity. This means balancing what is important in your life and following through. Reduce what is too much, increase what is too little. "The superior man carries things through."

I think you don't need to be single to work on yourself, if your partner is understanding of your need for personal time and space to do your work. I don't see the Yi taking the responsibility for your relationship away from you and telling you to leave your partner. But if you really want someone to tell you you should leave him to work on yourself, you can probably find a therapist more than willing to offer you such advice.

- LL
 

quinnius

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Thanks for the reply LL, I'm not sure I understand the I-ching as well as I should.

Have been going through a lot lately but it's not anything anyone can help with, my partner is giving me more space at the moment which is good.

Haven't had much luck with therapists of any sort.. ; )

Thanks for your input...

Q
 

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