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ex's intentions 42.5.6>24

walk_the_line

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Hello!

Me and my boyfriend broke up just a few days ago. Even though it was me who suggested this should end, the truth is it was him who had obejctions and the relationship didn't give him as much satisfaction ad it gave me. I can clearly see how I didn't behave the way I should have and for the first time in my life I have realised that I'm not such a perfect girlfriend as I've always considered myself to be.Still, I wonder whether the change in my behaviour and maybe more honest talks about our relationship would have changed anything. Maybe I could never be the girl of his dreams - another hard thing to swallow for me ...

Still, I've never had a boyfriend who didn't try to get back me with again ... And because I miss him so much I wondered if he had any intention of giving our relationship another try or maybe just talking to me again some time ...

That's why I asked i-ching today:

What are T's intentions towards me? I received hexagram 42.5.6 >24

It's difficult not to see what I want to see. Because of that I can only read this anwer as if he is not sure what to do. Or that maybe he'll try to get back with me or at least meet and talk again but his intentions will not be entirely pure - he may not love me but still wants to be in a relationship because it's nice to be with someone ... I have a problem interpreting 24, too ... I wonder if it means we'll try again or maybe it means he wants to start a new life without me or maybe a new relationship with someone else ...

I was so happy with him and I was so shocked when suddenly it turned out he wasn't as happy with me ... I'm very calm but at the same time I don't believe I can think clearly and I just want the truth (but so desperately want to believe that there is still a chance for us and that he loves me ...........)

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to give you a clear picture of the situation. I'd be very grateful for any help with interpretation.

Lots of love,
walk_the_line
 

dragona

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Just a thought...is it possible that he feels being ill used and decided to return to himself-to be alone?
 

walk_the_line

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Hello Dragona :)

Thank you for your reply.
I don't think I treated him badly recently in any way. And especially not when we broke up. But it's understandable that after a breakup he might want to be alone to digest all that has happened. How do you see that in the answer I received?

All the best,
walk_the_line
 

dragona

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I find it hard at times to decide if the answer Yi gives is about us or another.
You should make that distinction the best, not necessary how you phrased the question even sometime...
But if we are to think of intentions, the idea I am getting is:
he is looking to increase his well being and he has few choices; line 5 suggests to me that he is concentrating oh himself at this time and further in the next line:
Legge: Line 6 is also strong; but it should be weak. Occupying the topmost place of the figure, its subject will concentrate his powers in the increase of himself, and not think of benefiting those below him; and the consequence will be as described. resulting hex may also be pointing into the direction of returning towards within, "repairing himself".
Perhaps you should ask what is the best course for you now to take(relating the breakup) to make a better distinction.
Hope this helps, d.
 

walk_the_line

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Hi Dragona!

Well, what you say makes sense. Even if I don't know how he feels or what he's been doing since our breakup, it just seems logical that he needs to concentrate on himself.

I asked what I should do to have him back (I know, lame!). I know I should have asked what I should do now but I miss him so much. I'm angry with him and I don't even know if I'd be able to believe he really cared about me but ... But right now I can't shake the though of him. I feel as if we were still together. I'm trying to forget him but then in the evening I start missing him again ... I can't believe I'm doing what I've always thought was irrational. But I gave in and asked that question ...

I asked: What should I do to make him come back to me?

The answer is: 49.1>31

Is this too good to be true or am I missing the point again?
Does it mean I should invest in the new me, start anew as if after the breakup and then he will open up to contact with me again?
I really love him.

Thanks in advance for any insight.

Best,
walk_the_line
 

meganj

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Hi walk_the_line,

just moments ago I was listening to Johnny Cash, and when I logged in your name was the first thing I seen, so here is my contribution to your reading hopefully it provides some insight :)
I see your first reading with the 42 as saying that he felt like he was being taken for granted, so he has returned to himself to gather himself.
He has returned to reflect upon the good and bad elements of your relationship together.

In the top line I think Dragona was referencing to the fact that somebody feels hurt about being treated badly and has returned to work on themself.
He is preparing, so I think you will hear from him soon.

Now, Dragona has given you great advice on what type of question concerning your relationship with this man, instead you have chosen to form the question:

"What should I do to make him come back to me?"
with a reply of 49.1>31

I know it's hard to let go of someone for fear of things changing between you and that's what this hex is saying is needed for you two to get together again.
So don't rush things, there are some changes needed to be made but it's for the best.
The advice of the line is to "Refrain from doing anything for the time being".
 

walk_the_line

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Hello, megan

Thank you for your kind reply. I'm sorry to be answering you only now but I was away for a while.

Hi walk_the_line,
just moments ago I was listening to Johnny Cash, and when I logged in your name was the first thing I seen, so here is my contribution to your reading hopefully it provides some insight :)
I see your first reading with the 42 as saying that he felt like he was being taken for granted, so he has returned to himself to gather himself.
He has returned to reflect upon the good and bad elements of your relationship together.

In the top line I think Dragona was referencing to the fact that somebody feels hurt about being treated badly and has returned to work on themself.
He is preparing, so I think you will hear from him soon.

What a wonderful instance of synchronicity :D :D I started listening to Johnny Cash thanks to my boyfriend :)

You see, I just don't see how he can feel hurt or treated badly - it was me whose heart was broken and I was treated badly. Maybe there's something I can't see or maybe the hexagram just reflected my situation instead of his ... Is it possible? It's been 3 weeks and 4 days since we talked last and broke up and he hasn't contacted me so far. He even deleted his Facebook profile. I'm not exactly sure why. I deleted his phone number (I know it by heart anyway ...) and his e-mail address from my contacts on Friday. I still would love to hear from him, though ... I just did all of this not to be tempted to make the first move ... I' still hope that you're right and he will contact me soon ....

Now, Dragona has given you great advice on what type of question concerning your relationship with this man, instead you have chosen to form the question:

"What should I do to make him come back to me?"
with a reply of 49.1>31

I know it's hard to let go of someone for fear of things changing between you and that's what this hex is saying is needed for you two to get together again.
So don't rush things, there are some changes needed to be made but it's for the best.
The advice of the line is to "Refrain from doing anything for the time being".

Okay, so I'm not doing anything. Besides, what could I do ... I know that if he cares about me, he will call me or contact me in any other way. I think the hexagram tells me to concentrate on my own life, to start anew. You say it's for the best - do you mean by that that there's a chance for a relationship with him? After all, it changes into 31.

Thanks a lot,
walk_the_line
 

meganj

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Im not guaranteeing anything but Yes I think there is a chance :)
 

walk_the_line

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Hello everyone :)

I'm here to post an update. I can't help but laugh a little inside myself when I read these desperate posts. I swear I never loved that man. I might have been in love but it was mostly my imagination. I'm so happy he doesn't love me because now that I have gained clarity I can see that he was not what I'm looking for - in any way. It's been 7 months since we broke up and I cannot realte to the feelings described in the posts above. I think my feelings for him went away completely some time in July, I think.
Many wonderful things happened to me since then. The best is that I joined a gospel choir - just a few days after the last post here. This cahnged my life and, surely, helped me concentrate on my biggest love, i.e. music and forget about T at last.

Okay, so, he never contacted me again. I have seen him only once and we just exchanged greetings. Some of my friends met him at different places and times and he pretended he didn't know them! How rude is that???? Only once he couldn't pretend because he and my friend were at a party together but still he acted very weird.

Hmmmm....

My first question was about T's intentions and I got 42.5.6>24
I suppose it;s very difficult to interpret readings about other people's intentions. How am I supposed to know what was going through his miind at the time?
Line 5 talks about a sincere heart and acting out of the true need. He wanted to be sincere, I believe and so he was. He knew he could still come back me and have an easy life until he met someone else but he didn't do it. Then Line 6 says talks about catastrophe and loneliness. I'm not sure about the catastrophe but he did lie to me - i.e. he didn't act the way Line 5 advises. I mean, before out breakup he told me he loved me. Then not long after he broke up with me and said he lied and that he knew he was lying to me when he told me he loved me. That's why, I would see Line 6 as an indication of what his dishonesty could lead to. Instead, he chose to change his ways. He told me the truth and accepted the fact we couldn;t continue like that anymore. I guess, maybe at the time he was torn between acting on Line 6 or 5?
And then, there's Hex 24 talking about going to how the things used to be. Clearly, it talks about going back to the goos state of affairs not the bad one. So it couldn't have indicated returning to me becuase that was not a good state of affairs. :)

Then I asked I-ching what I could do to make him come back to me. Time heals all wounds, I swear! hahaha I couldn't care less about him now hahaha :) I'm so glad! :)
The answer I received from I-ching was 49.1>31
I think it was a fantastic answer, one of the best I've ever received. The revolution the I-ching meant was my attitude towards men, dating, fliritng, etc., etc. At some point in my life I forgot that pursuing is the man's job and that the man first has to prove he's willing to do a lot for you before you can be sure he truly cares about you (I'm not talking about anything drastic, just a little serious effort and consideration. Girls, you know well what I mean, right? :))
The film "He's just not that into you" and the book "Why men love bitches" helped me a great deal to understand the misakes I made. The modern world can be confusing for a girl these days :) My another mistake was jumping into the relationships waaay too fast.
My new approach saved me a lot of hearbreak last spirng, summer and autumn! I'm so glad! :)
I don't have a boyfriend but met a lot of new wonderful, beautiful, optimistic, good people and had so many wonderful experiences. Yes, I was interested in some guys. Interestingly, all of these guys are still present in my life. I'm not rushing anything - you never know what may happen :) I guess 31 could indicate I'd be ready for new and better relationships or it just underlined the theme of the revolution - meaning I had to revolutionize the way I "influence" men :)

Another thing I learnt from this experience is that it is, indeed, far more helpful (and ethical) to ask only about yourself and ask what is the best course of action for me so that it benefits everyone best, and not " OMG, please, I-Ching I need to have this man/woman/thing/money, give instructions to do it - now!!!" ;) :)

Thank you, meganj and dragona for your help :)
If T ever contacts after all, I'll let you know. However, I sincerely doubt that he will. And he's right. We were highly incompatible - opposites attract but can they work together? Well, we couldn't :)

All the best
walk_the_line
 

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