...life can be translucent

Menu

hexagram 41.1>4

G

goddessliss

Guest
Further to this thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14824
I am starting to get extremely stressed about the situation because as giving as want to be to 'working on what has been decayed' it is two steps forward and then back to square one.

After the advice of others on this other thread I gave Ph a little bit of leeway and we seemed to have gained a little more compatability as housemates.

Forthe most part we are independent and do our own thing but when he has nothing else to do and comes home he appears to be expecting me to feel the empty space for him.

I am very busy studying and when I am not studying I am taking time out for myself. Sometimes we may spend time together over a cuppa or watch TV together but never more than an hour at the most as I really don't enjoy his company. It may sound a bit mean but I like my own space and it upsets me a lot to have this encroached on. I sometimes go to my bedroom to get this space but as soon as I come out he is there following me around.
Also I have had to start hiding my food and shampoos etc. as he is still helping himself - I know he is short of cash but I don't see that as my responsbility and as I live week to week only just supporting myself I am not in a position to help him even if I wanted to. I note I buy shopbrand items and he buys namebrand!
So now he is again starting to have little goes at me about things - yesterday it was make sure you turn the powerpoints off Melissa to save electricity - I always turn them off!
This morning when I was obviously in hurry to get going he had parked me in and when I asked him to please move his car he started going on about how the sharing of the driveway was too inconvenient for him.

What is the basis of Ph continual little digs at me Hex 41.1>4

He is asking me to be codependent....*****!

What is the best way for me to deal with Ph behaviour towards me Hex 52.3.4.6>16

Hmmm.....stilling and enthusiasm???

What can I learn from this situation with Ph

Hexagram 50.1.2.6>55

this sorta makes sense and I am already doing line 6 - being an example of correctness, through quiet perserverance as I am just doin' my own thing.

thks for your help with this stressful situation

Liss
 
Last edited:

chingching

visitor
Joined
Nov 24, 2010
Messages
1,374
Reaction score
135
This is carol Anthony's passage on 41.1 ( when she uses the word sage she means our higher selves, as opposed to one's ego self)

Going quickly when one's tasks are finished...

The way the Sage relates to us shows us the way we should relate to others. Being defenseless, we must take care not to jeopardize our personalities. Since our means of influencing others is limited to our good example, we must take care to be correct. The Sage does not throw himself away by chasing after our approval. He does not cater to the demands of our logic, or intellect. He withdraws in the presence of arrogance; nevertheless, he tolerates our mistakes. Thus, if a person is not receptive, or if they are dubious about us, we should reserve ourself until delicacy of feeling is sufficient for open communication. When another person's ego leads, we throw ourself away if we confide in them or try to convince them of anything.

Finally, we should ask ourself if we have a delicacy of feeling toward the Sage. Do we take what we want from his advice and reject what is unpleasant, or do we treat him as a helpful friend?

16 is big elephants too, big image of reality, some stillness and meditation may give you some perspective and peace. It's in moments like these where you can really see ifs hat kind of person you want to be and then be it, like the king with the mandate in 55, no one deepens their character by never being challenged.

It will get better :)
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
Further to this thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14824
I am starting to get extremely stressed about the situation because as giving as want to be to 'working on what has been decayed' it is two steps forward and then back to
I am very busy studying and when I am not studying I am taking time out for myself. Sometimes we may spend time together over a cuppa or watch TV together but never more than an hour at the most as I really don't enjoy his company. It may sound a bit mean but I like my own space and it upsets me a lot to have this encroached on. I .

What is the basis of Ph continual little digs at me Hex 41.1>4

He is asking me to be codependent....*****!

What is the best way for me to deal with Ph behaviour towards me Hex 52.3.4.6>16

Hmmm.....stilling and enthusiasm???

What can I learn from this situation with Ph

Hexagram 50.1.2.6>55

this sorta makes sense and I am already doing line 6 - being an example of correctness, through quiet perserverance as I am just doin' my own thing.

thks for your help with this stressful situation

Liss

41.1 is often about needing your own space to do your own thing as you described...41.1 is not about him here its advice to you. I think it validates your desire to have your own space. make your boundaries, reduce what you give to him. You asked about him,,,,but theres no need to ask about him and Yi skips that....the situation you are in is that you must take your own time and space...this implies yes he's encroaching on you and yes you do need your own space. There is no need to adapt to his demands at all..you aren't being selfish. I think Yis answer is quite clear on that.

52 >16 preparing yourself imaginatively (16) to be pretty detached from him.(52) Its hard (52.3) but can be done (52.6)

50>55 well you learned you don't want this haven't you so next time cook up a better situaton., you didn't really think this through perhaps because there was so much to think about (55) You may need to either tip out this situation out or get more detached.


You shouldn't have to pay it too much mind hes only a housemate isn't he...temporary...you can dump each other at some point. The 41.1 should strengthen you in that it validates that time you want alone....yes you have every right and need to have that, I mean you need not feel that should forgoe it or give it up. 41.1 most certainly asks you to consider what is yours and what is theirs... 41.1 always seems to mean one must take ones time back. Others may not like it...but thats tough


Consider that possibly a proportion of your stress comes from feeling unentitled to your space, a feeling you must givehim what he wants. Be quite clear you are under no obligation to do that


Sharing with anyone is always a series of compromises and one expects that...waiting for the bathroom, the kitchen being used when you want it...you can negotiate terms on those things to a degree. But your own personal time is not his to make demands on
 
Last edited:
G

goddessliss

Guest
Thankyou both very much - as usual I am flying solo which sometimes I find difficult to stand in my own power...... I very much needed to hear what you have said so I am grateful for your interpretations and support. be joyous Liss
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top