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wasteful in love? 55>25

meganj

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tonight my ex acted rather cruel towards me.. it has been a very painful thing this breakup and having a hard time letting go. I feel used and just very sad at the way things ended between us.. i feel like i gave him a very big part of me, and that to even be in another relationship would be almost impossible because ive been hurt and let down too many times. i honestly thought this was it.. but it turns out it wasnt.

sigh* am i a lost cause when it comes to love? i admit i have a bit of emotional scarring and troubles in my past.. i just feel burnt out now.
i still want to finish school and stuff, i like being closer to my family but in the back of my mind i cant help but feeling like maybe thats it.. i dont know if i wanna try again, im a bit scared.

hopefully this isnt too big of a question to ask to be able to interpret, but a part of me needs to know if its a very big flaw within myself or if i just dont have that in me to give anymore..

will i eventually meet somebody else or have i wasted too many good opportunities?
55.3.5.6>25

obviously i feel guilty at this failing, he was a good guy so i dont see how i could find better. i know i need to be alone for awhile but i just cant shake this feeling after tonight..

megan:bows:
 

foxx777

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tonight my ex acted rather cruel towards me.. it has been a very painful thing this breakup and having a hard time letting go. I feel used and just very sad at the way things ended between us.. i feel like i gave him a very big part of me, and that to even be in another relationship would be almost impossible because ive been hurt and let down too many times. i honestly thought this was it.. but it turns out it wasnt.

sigh* am i a lost cause when it comes to love? i admit i have a bit of emotional scarring and troubles in my past.. i just feel burnt out now.
i still want to finish school and stuff, i like being closer to my family but in the back of my mind i cant help but feeling like maybe thats it.. i dont know if i wanna try again, im a bit scared.

hopefully this isnt too big of a question to ask to be able to interpret, but a part of me needs to know if its a very big flaw within myself or if i just dont have that in me to give anymore..

will i eventually meet somebody else or have i wasted too many good opportunities?
55.3.5.6>25

obviously i feel guilty at this failing, he was a good guy so i dont see how i could find better. i know i need to be alone for awhile but i just cant shake this feeling after tonight..

megan:bows:
I think you might indeed be a bit burnt out, and emotionally scarred, but that is the case with so many these past 3 decades, really, because early and lifelong marriages have been replaced by more chancy relationships culturally. My own experience was similar, as were those of many I knew. That said, I think you can heal inwardly while at the same time understanding that there are indeed objective factors. I looked at your oracle with the translation I often use:

55. Denseness

Line 3:

Abundant is the falling water,
at the middle of the day it appears to be dusk.
He breaks his right forearm.
Without fault.

The situation is so difficult to oversee, that one gets harmed easily. One is not to blame for that, the situation is just too hard.
(It's raining so heavily that it is dark, and one can't see a thing. Stumbling and breaking one's forearm is likely to happen then.)


Line 5:

A medal arrives,
there is celebration and praise.
Good fortune.

Being praised for an accomplishment. Things go well.

Line 6:

Abundant is his house,
screening off his household.
He peeps out of his door.
It is very quiet, and without people.
For three years, he is unseen.
Misfortune.

Screening oneself off from others for quite some time, keeping contact to a minimum. Things do not go well.



Hexagram is changing to:

25. Without Pretense

Without pretense.
A foundation for progress.
It is beneficial to persist.
In fact, not being pure is a severe mistake.
It is a disadvantage to have a goal to move to.

Being oneself, natural, without making an effort to appear different than one really is. This makes real progress possible. It's beneficial to continue being this way. Not being thus is in fact a severe mistake. Pursuing a goal may make it necessary to go against one's feelings, so this is a disadvantage to being oneself.
I would say the hexagrams and lines are sympathetic to you, and perhaps 55.6 is referring to your ex?? Just an idea......you know best.....
 

ginnie

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Try not to isolate yourself in desolation. Romantic love is not everything. :)
 

meganj

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Yes Ginnie you are absolutely right c:

Who's translations are you using fox? I am not familiar with those.
The lower 2 lines indicate to me that even though I got hurt and theyre not all that bad but then the 6th line gives me a sense of self-punishment.. what is wanted is not recieved because of a lack of willigness to recieve others anymore? it's a scary line for me! :s

Would it be appropriate to say that what happens in 25 is an unexpected or unknown outcome based on how one reacts?

If my interpretations of the lines seem way off its because I am not referencing my book or the sites I usually go to while i'm on my computer because I am not on my comp, I am on my cell and going by the general ideas of the lines/ hex.
 

Trojina

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tonight my ex acted rather cruel towards me.. it has been a very painful thing this breakup and having a hard time letting go. I feel used and just very sad at the way things ended between us.. i feel like i gave him a very big part of me, and that to even be in another relationship would be almost impossible because ive been hurt and let down too many times. i honestly thought this was it.. but it turns out it wasnt.

sigh* am i a lost cause when it comes to love? i admit i have a bit of emotional scarring and troubles in my past.. i just feel burnt out now.
i still want to finish school and stuff, i like being closer to my family but in the back of my mind i cant help but feeling like maybe thats it.. i dont know if i wanna try again, im a bit scared.

hopefully this isnt too big of a question to ask to be able to interpret, but a part of me needs to know if its a very big flaw within myself or if i just dont have that in me to give anymore..

will i eventually meet somebody else or have i wasted too many good opportunities?
55.3.5.6>25

obviously i feel guilty at this failing, he was a good guy so i dont see how i could find better. i know i need to be alone for awhile but i just cant shake this feeling after tonight..

megan:bows:

:confused: you just posted about 4 threads...or 5 on how this guy treated you bad and kept blowing hot and cold like here http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14799 but now you are making out its all your fault and he was a good guy :confused:

isn't this getting to be a bit of a dance ...? with the forum ?

I mean about a week ago you were saying how he had imposed a 'week of silence' on you...and now you talk about wasted opportunities :confused:




anyway you don't need the I Ching to know if you'll find love again...you are 25... of course you will ! Theres no need to go over thinking it ...you only just finished with him...its pretty simple, just don't isolate yourself too much. You are looking for judgements that aren't there. And yes 25 is ....'who knows...spontaneity....there is no big fatally destined flaw that will forever blight your love life...the future hasn't been made yet. You are in the making of it now ...don't use the i ching like a stick to beat yourself up with.

Okay you keep telling yourself different stories about the situation...thats only natural as you come to terms with things but when you involve others in the process here ...well I for one can't keep up...
 
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Trojina

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Yes Ginnie you are absolutely right c:

Who's translations are you using fox? I am not familiar with those.
The lower 2 lines indicate to me that even though I got hurt and theyre not all that bad but then the 6th line gives me a sense of self-punishment.. what is wanted is not recieved because of a lack of willigness to recieve others anymore? it's a scary line for me! :s

Would it be appropriate to say that what happens in 25 is an unexpected or unknown outcome based on how one reacts?

If my interpretations of the lines seem way off its because I am not referencing my book or the sites I usually go to while i'm on my computer because I am not on my comp, I am on my cell and going by the general ideas of the lines/ hex.


there is nothing scary about 55.6...it generally describes a time where one withdraws a bit becasue one feels wounded. I've never found that has terrible consequences....remember the I Ching uses very dramatic imagery so you need to scale it to the actual size and content of the question. So 55.6 yes you withdraw a little, just don't withdraw too long in self blame or mourning....thats all. 55.6 can just be a duvet day...everyone needs a duvet day now and then....


And please remind yourself this guy was not making you happy so finishing with him was not a 'lost opportunity'. In 55.3 one is temporarily out of action, like having a broken arm....thats okay....doesn't mean one is forever flawed in the arm department .
 

Trojina

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oh and if i sound exasperated I'm sorry...I think its because you are reminding me of me at your age .... I just don't want you to waste time feeling bad about yourself :)



I guess we can never pass onto others what we learned in our mis spent youth....I should know that by now :deadhorse:



:hug: anyway the good news is you don't have a fatal flaw and you will find love again


Because I said so :D
 

ginnie

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And please remind yourself this guy was not making you happy so finishing with him was not a 'lost opportunity'.

That's what I think, too.

Maybe if you tried to keep in mind the worst thing he ever did or the worst thing he ever said to you -- to remind yourself of how it was not working out ...
 

foxx777

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Yes Ginnie you are absolutely right c:

Who's translations are you using fox? I am not familiar with those.
The lower 2 lines indicate to me that even though I got hurt and theyre not all that bad but then the 6th line gives me a sense of self-punishment.. what is wanted is not recieved because of a lack of willigness to recieve others anymore? it's a scary line for me! :s

Would it be appropriate to say that what happens in 25 is an unexpected or unknown outcome based on how one reacts?

If my interpretations of the lines seem way off its because I am not referencing my book or the sites I usually go to while i'm on my computer because I am not on my comp, I am on my cell and going by the general ideas of the lines/ hex.
I think your view of 25 as potential depending on how you proceed, is correct. I am using the eclectic energies YI JING, translated from the original Chinese by Ewald Berkers.
 

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