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A threat 60.4.6>10

steve

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My ex business partner has contacted me again

This time he is saying I owe him money and he is sending a debit collector to my house he has basicaly made a threat in an email

When I say debit collector I don't think its the legal type

I asked the yi what should I do about this

60.4.6>10
 
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Trojina

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My ex business partner has contacted me again

This time he is saying I owe him money and he is sending a debit collector to my house he has basicaly made a threat in an email

When I say debit collector I don't think its the legal type

I asked the yi what should I do about this

60.4.6>10

Be very rational, clear, have facts at your disposal. Either you owe him money or you don't...so get evidence together. 60.4 is reassuring here...its a fairly sensible approach. Your friend is off the rails...he seems irrational. This cast suggest you can really use rationality to your advantage here.

Hex 10 suggest you play it quite careful now and perhaps stake some legal steps as this is a concrete threat. And making such threats is an offence. Don't get emotionally involved as 60 is very much about specifics of who owes what to who.

60.6 suggest perhaps that if you are called to make some compromise in something that you do. yes you are within your rights....its just counselling not to go too far. Rethink ! Actually it may be more like don't hold back too much from defending yourself now. You may have been trying to contain things and not react....there comes a time you need to react. I never did think ignoring him was the way to go in the other 29 thread

All this is a bit hysterical isn't it. So you need to stay calm and deal with facts. Get evidence together, record evidence of his harrassment and maybe now inform him you are going to the police as threats against you are not acceptable

Hex 60 is about articulating organising your thoughts, preparing your case if necessary. Making distinctions between issues. Sounds like he has got many issues with you...financial but also personal. So you need to be clear about whats what here.

If you have to talk to him make him be clear and specific of his allegations.


I do feel you should tell him now you will go to the police. Sounds like he wants to send bully boys around !


You are in Australia aren't you so probably Australians on the forum here know the system more...theres different ways to play things in different countries.


Above all have confidence. Hex 10 says yes theres danger...but he treads the tigers tail without being bitten if he plays his cards right...and hex 60...cool calm , measured action is the way to go
 
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steve

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Thanks heaps Trojan yes very good advice , yes I could tell he was getting very annoyed by me ignoring him as I mentioned this is not just about money it is partly, but I believe its more because he has been cut out of my loop.

I am in two minds about the police now but need to do something to take the wind out of his sails so you are right so he comes back down to earth. I was thinking of replying and saying look this is the way I see it and I have forwarded your mail to my friends and family so if you do anything irrational then you will be held accountable you have now threatened me and also have all your other correspondence so I have no choice but to forward your email to the police you keep forcing my hand.

I could also put an AVO on him restraining order in other words
you see if he thought he would have a case in court he would have done that by now its fluff so intimidation is his next tactic

A couple of friends of mine said dont respond just let the police handle it also the surprise of the police contacting him with the AVO maybe take him down a peg
if I can de-fuse the situation I will so I am just not sure about sending him a mail or going to the police line 4 suggests as you see it that maybe so cold facts may make him think differently

Wish I just had the money to move however I would still get the mails just wish I never met him
 
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hopex

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line 4 is saying that a lot of energy is being wasted on this
line 6 - your time as leader is coming to an end - what has
gone on here I do not know

60 is limitation - damage limitation. Do you in fact owe him
anything? Of course 10 implies you are dealing with a wily one here.

I do not think I would show fear here.
I would contact the police with everything that has happened to
date - be forewarned that only emails written threats will count.
Do not tell him just let them know the latest and take a report
number. Of course if big men are going to arrive at your house then
its good to have the police (and camera) on standby.

second action ring him up (dont mention police or you will inflame
matters) ask him what he is blathering on about - offer £400 to get
him out of your hair and say thats it. Shake on it and part.

Anything after that throw the whole dam shooting match at him
(thats my feminine suggestion)

in other words limit this - and be tactical.
 

steve

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Hey Hopex
what do you mean my time as a leader is coming to an end? I did see similar to you on line 4 as dont make waste too much energy on this however i could relate to what Trojan is saying on line 4


I just cannot believe he would threaten by email I mean how stupid as people keep records.
 

Trojina

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line 4 is saying that a lot of energy is being wasted on this
line 6 - your time as leader is coming to an end - what has
gone on here I do not know


.

:confused: it doesn't say that at all Hopex....where did you get that from...?

Nothing about being a leader...or time wasting. I think you got hold of a rubbish commentary ?

I agreed with other parts of your post though

okay i guess 'you are wasting too much time' could be another way of saying 'tackle this calmly',,,,still not sure about 'days of leadership'. I mean all 60.6 says if you are setting out to discipline or contain or restrict something don't take it to the degree that its feels very uncomfortable and restrictive. Like if the question was about going on an diet it might counsel you to not push yourself to the edge with it...to have a cake now and then...and so on
 
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Trojina

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From Hilarys book

60.4 Peaceful measures. Creating Success. (that is I Ching)

You know whats needed and what to ask for...you can interact calmly (paraphrased Hilarys commentary)

60.6 Bitter measures:constancy, pitfall. Regrets vanish (that is I Ching)

Hilarys commentary "sooner or later bitter measures prove untenable...truth will reassert itself....regrets vanish" (paraphrased)


The words in italics are translation from I Ching...the rest is what people say it means. their take. You got hold of someones book perhaps with a strange view on what it means ?
 

Trojina

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line 4 is saying that a lot of energy is being wasted on this
line 6 - your time as leader is coming to an end - what has
gone on here I do not know

60 is limitation - damage limitation. Do you in fact owe him
anything? Of course 10 implies you are dealing with a wily one here.

I do not think I would show fear here.
I would contact the police with everything that has happened to
date - be forewarned that only emails written threats will count.
Do not tell him just let them know the latest and take a report
number. Of course if big men are going to arrive at your house then
its good to have the police (and camera) on standby.

second action ring him up (dont mention police or you will inflame
matters) ask him what he is blathering on about - offer £400 to get
him out of your hair and say thats it. Shake on it and part.

Anything after that throw the whole dam shooting match at him
(thats my feminine suggestion)

in other words limit this - and be tactical.

:confused: oh no I don't agree with it...why on earth would Steve give him £400 :confused: How do you know he wouldn't just come back for more which he probably would if Steve gave him money for no reason.
 

hopex

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Thats why i suggest discussing it -

find out what he thinks he is due


i too dont pay on demand and have been through
the court cases to prove it

if people perceive you as having the money and being
weak - they WILL take you on.

Steve can of course tell him to take his grievance to
court - or enlist muscle himself. It is very hard to know
the real picture here.

I was often told to pay up for a quiet life and I NEVER did
I just think if he has a glimmer of right to some money then
negotiate and save yourself the hassle

this will drag out and get nasty - Steve's first reading said so
I believe
 

foxx777

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Steve: It is very odd, because I told you originally on your first post on this subject, that he reminded me of a former colleague of mine, and now it would appear he is escalating just as mine did.

I was able to counter mine by informing, as you have suggested, other people: colleagues, friends, etc. I did also contact an attorney.

You cannot owe him money if there is no formal or legal contract binding you. If there is, pay up and get rid of him.

Below, 60's lines 4,6 as per emotional I Ching. I believe 10 and its reference to treading on the tail of the tiger, but not being bit, should reassure you.

Line 4 -
"Persevering with quiet reasoning." [Stimulating]

Line 6 -
"Bitter reasoning. Dangerous and testing times, but remorse disappears." [To be full of oneself, resistant to inevitable change]
 
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60 can mean correspondance with cadence, or paying in increments. I'm thinking rigid limits are not advised. 10 would also suggest something similar. 10 can be about having a respect for the situation's power. Like a boss' ability to either fire you or give you a raise. Best thing to do is not focus on either, just the work at hand. Not pushing it too far, one way or the other.

Line 6 would also follow right in this middle path, 'to presist with bitter limitations' would be unfortunate aka take it easy on this one. Line 4 seems to me to be saying something like, the way with less friction would be best here, kind of like a dance that comes natural to your limbs, keeping in rhythm with what he is throwing at you, of course being on top of it, yet remembering that at any moment the guy could turn tiger. He is already showing signs eh? At least you know what you are dealing with.
 

Trojina

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I don't see why Steve should adapt himself to dancing with this guy.....like hes scared of him or something....:confused: but then I never did agree with how you dealt with your stalker...or did I ...can't remember but I do know several of us were urging you to go to the police and you wouldn't and you were trying to figure his psychology....

personally I'd never recommend trying to suss the mind of a psychopath all by yourself



what happened with your stalker ? see the very end of thread here http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14394


well obviously he didn't kill you so thats good....:D

but it would be good to know what you did in the end ??
 
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goddessliss

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Agreed with trojan - and it does sound like it is an issue with boundaries (lack of) that you struggle with Steve having read a lot of your posts in the past - perhaps this is just a hardcore lesson and how you deal with this one will have an impact on how you deal with other boundary issues in the future. - Liss
 
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From a suggested link on their website, I emailed the police an elaborate documentation of everything that occurred and they never got back with me. ha. The 'stalker' still contacts me, last time was on my vacation, but he does so much less. I surrendered mentally and emotionally because I think I was being overly paranoid and panicked. It was getting to me and snowballing. I think things happened and were very intense, and the intenseness is over. From meeting him in the store, and everything that occurred after, I have a much better understanding of what hexagram 11 is all about and I wouldn't call it peace. I think that 'peace' can be chucked far outside of the inner circle of what 11 is about.

I have also noticed that gentlemen that are Lebanese can persist in the ways of pursuing the opposite sex in a manner that I am not able to compute and deal with.

But yeah, I am alive... and the whole situation gave birth to a boundary line I should have been aware of long ago.
 

Trojina

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.....well I can't see why you should surrender to being harrassed by someone who has no respect for you, your life or boundaries...but if thats how you have come to terms with it I'm in no position to argue.


BTW you emailed the police via a link ? You didn't speak to them or go and see them ? It may not have seemed urgent to them ?

Okay I won't nag....
 

steve

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Yes I believe I am going to need to be very firm like letting him know other people are aware of his actions that may bring him down to earth, but like all stalkers they have big issues with boundaries,(liss) he always has had like the way he would wear my clothes , there were really early signs i didnt heed. I know what hopex is saying that if I could pay to get him out of my life but I am just not sure if he would take this as a sign of weakness or even accept what I offered coz i know what you are saying let him think he has won.

I will reply to him Monday I just need to get this right,
 

hopex

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thats right Steve - if in doubt do nowt as they
say in Yorkshire - gather your information -
then act when you are decided and ready

may sound daft but a walk and a prayer do
me good before I act - you need to stop this

and indeed if he is a stalker and you give the
police records - he will be bound over in court
at the very least.

you could let him know if he is not prepared to
settle then he has a conviction coming his way
that wont be good for his future

people normally stop at this juncture - he has
pushed enough there's a place called STOP

i too had most of this trouble because I was too
easy going with people and it came back to bite

All the best - you will come through this:hug:
 
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I wish you luck on sorting this out. It seems like a delicate situation. And of course at the end of the day, you should do what you think deep down is fit to do Steve. My best wishes to you.
 

hopex

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hello Steve just wondering what's the update on this?
 

steve

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I am going to send him an email tomorrow as much as I dont even want to do that.
The dance as answerquestions is saying may not be a bad idea. I am just going to be factual and non emotional & explain the way I see the situation. Try not to inflame the situation

Then I will inform him that this will be the end of our direct contact as I think I am going to make an offer and state that I dont feel I should be doing that but I will for the sake of peace however this is going to be done via my solicitor and he will he need to sign something stating that he is never to contact me again I will put that in the guidelines.

I will will also let him know my friends and family are aware of the situation and anything he does he will be held accountable for his actions.

so if he is saying that this is about money then possibly he has the opportunity to get what he wants and I will have the opportunity to get what I want, him out of my life.

I will also put the AVO on him this is done via the courts the police then just inform the person however I am informing him myself as well so there will be no way he can say he didnt know so I am going to get the last word on this, he has real control issues and this may make him realise he no longer and never will control the situation again. In the past I have led him to believe he was in control that has been effective when I knew he wasnt
however I can't see how I will be able to do that this time as I am making the guidelines (maybe he will think he has intimidated)

As I mentioned this Issue maybe that he believes I owe him money to a degree but its also about being cut out of my life. He has had AVO's on him before from various people mainly ex gf's where as I have never had one or had to place one.
I also will remind him everything I say I can back up. I will tell him I will make an offer to him via my solicitor and will be in touch shortly.

I mean I could stand my ground and just tell him to drop dead but he would become very bitter and who know he may plot and who needs that, what I want out of this is closure. I wish I could pay him closer to what he wants then I would really tell him what I thought of him, like I dont care about the money etc and let him have it. I am hoping that his friends and family advise him to take the offer and drop it so I will try to write with reason and facts and take into account that someone else maybe reading this which I have a feeling is the case he is so obsessed that he would be sharing this with others if not driving them mad.

So I will keep you posted and sincerely thank everyone for your help

Steve
 
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hopex

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steve the solicitor is a master stroke - thats 60 and 10
solicitors know limits and how to deal with tigers !

well done best money you'll ever spend
 

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