This is about a relationship that was both work together and attraction spiritual / physical attraction, it was not trying to get ahead by using someone, it was just the case that both work interest and personal attaraction were very strong and it was close to impossible to choose just one. It was his choice to try to have both and keep it civilized by leaving just work if the the romantic part would not work out - or the other way around. At some point I could see that he stopped communicating, it was happening gradually, less and less and then followed by no communication at all. This lack of communication came together with some serious health problems and business problems for him, so for the work side there was less of an emergency of doing something together. In the past, some years ago I remember asking iChing questions that turned to be true months later... I asked this time, how would this situation develop and got Hexagram 45 - that i interpreted as getting back together. This was in the forth decade of March. There is still no communication... I am now wondering if I had misinterpreted the hexagram or shall I just wait for smething to happen, or is this the time to ask another question... It is also not impossible that his health is such that he is not able to communicate - but I am not sure I can feel that - and I did feel before the way he would feel on aparticular day.

What happened between us was very serious and rather unusual for both of us, being not very open people and not letting newcomes to our lives easily... I was and still am very reluctant to accept that fact that there is no way I can help him to get out of the trouble that he is in, as he is not communicating. I have send him an sms for his birthday, there was no answer. I tried to call him, there was no call back... I tried to go ahead with my life, I could not and can not, as I feel his pain and also miss him... Before I got the Hexagram 45 for myself (just 10 days before) I asked for one for him (what is happeneing with him) and got N24 - return (the turning point - and from what i knew about his situation, it looked very accurate) in seven days, weeks or months - seven months are not due yet. Please excuse me for obviously making mistakes in interpreting hexagrams - as most newcommers do and please be so kind as to help me to see the situation more clearly.

How will this situation develop?
45 unchanging

People do not just come together in 45. It's congregation for a religious purpose. "The king approaches his temple," as the judgment says. This suggests to me that ethical considerations weight upon the mind of your friend, and that is why he does not communicate.

There's a group that is more important than either of you separately.

Or, it could be an instruction to you to hold yourself together, as if you were a collection of disparate parts that needed to be more 'assembled.'

thank you!

Thank you so much for trying to help. Holding oneself together is rather hard to do at this point - also today is one of the worst days - especially if one can not look forward to "getting together" - in a basic sence. Another question was how does this connect to 45 - return - turning point for him ?

the coming together I was thinking of was the coming together for a joint purpose - and bringing into life something that we both care about - we do have a similar value system so a project that we would do would be an example of what we care about to be brought into reality. Am I correct to understand that this may not happen - and possibly depends on some ethical considerations that he has to analyze? There was a conversation about ehtical considerations at some point, but it was more about his other activities, it did not have anything to do with what we were planning, at least that was my impression.

apopova said:

I asked for one for him (what is happeneing with him) and got N24.

Click to expand...

24 probably means recovery. He is recovering.

pocossin said:

How will this situation develop?
45 unchanging

People do not just come together in 45. It's congregation for a religious purpose. "The king approaches his temple," as the judgment says. This suggests to me that ethical considerations weight upon the mind of your friend, and that is why he does not communicate.

Click to expand...

Thank you so much for trying to help. When you think of ethical considerations, are these more his personal or are they about our relationship - for example - is it more like - I think my daughter has the right for my time and energy and care more then a new woman in my life - or is it more in the curre t situation I do not want to ask for help and have someone feel sorry for me, I have to be strong and successfull as usual before / if ever again I offer someone to share my life (either the work or the rantic part). Knowing him a little both can be true either seprately or together. Aslo, as for the timing, for the situation to resolve, shall I think of 7 weeks or months, or shall I ask a separate question? Thank you for trying to help.

In my experience, 45 can also mean collecting oneself (sometimes I find 8 can mean that too but more as in keep it together from falling apart, whereas 45 is assembling parts of self that have drifted off). While 45 is generally about groups, it does show us a man offering sacrifice to the higher purpose (entering ancestral home), doing things for greater good. It sounds like both of you have sublimated your desires because of the common good right from the start and 45 shows more of the same. Perhaps especially for him, if he has been having all those problems, then relationship with you may have been the sacrifice? 24 in his context could be a return to a status before all this with you happened.

I tend to ask questions like "What should I know about...my desire to be with this man" for example, and then there is scope to learn something other than what we may be inadvertently but insistently focusing on.

apopova said:

Thank you so much for trying to help. When you think of ethical considerations, are these more his personal or are they about our relationship - for example - is it more like - I think my daughter has the right for my time and energy and care more then a new woman in my life - or is it more in the curre t situation I do not want to ask for help and have someone feel sorry for me, I have to be strong and successfull as usual before / if ever again I offer someone to share my life (either the work or the rantic part). Knowing him a little both can be true either seprately or together. Aslo, as for the timing, for the situation to resolve, shall I think of 7 weeks or months, or shall I ask a separate question? Thank you for trying to help.

Click to expand...

I don't see any possibility of a relationship for him until health and business problems are solved.

thank you

I think you have helped to formulate the next question.. when I would be prepared to ask it - why does not he want me to help him with his health and business issues - we had originally planned to work on these together, and like it is often with iChing I believe, only now I came to understand that that had been the main question from the start - the problem is this is one of these "sneaking into someone's soul" questions that one probably should not be asking

You have become so focused on his needs. Try to bring your focus back to your own health and your own needs. That could very well be the meaning of hex 45 for you, the re-assembling of your sense of yourself.

I realize that one can only share what one has... so having not taken care of oneself one can not help others... will try to focus on my part as recommended