Hello and thanks for reading my thread.

Iam in my 50s and after a 27 year marriage and a painful follow-on relationship I joined a dating site a couple of months ago. I met up with a few nice guys (but no chemistry).
ten days ago I went out with someone new and a spark was there and good company. he was very keen and texted me afterwards to say he looked forward to seeing me again. I haven't heard from since. What did I do wrong?

I received hexagram 3 unchanging. Not my fault?

I then asked what is happening now between me and this man.
I received hexagram 12.4 changing to 20

I take it that things might be changing and not to worry?

Many thanks

Hi Yellowcat,

It seems like you didn't do anyhting wrong with hex 3 to me, but its not an easy time in 3. Its 'everything', the whole spectrum of its predessesors, hex 1 and hex 2. I think someone described hex 3 here as being like the baby that both hex 1 and hex 2 create. I like this image of it.

Have you dated alot since your last relationship? I say this because I think hex 3 might be about your 'beginnings' in dating again. It says to 'install helpers' and not to undertake anything directly. Maybe the 'helpers' referred to are this dating site, maybe some actual friends of yours? At any rate, your 'growth' in dating, or with this specific man, is impeded in some way. The Nuclear hex is 23, stripping away, from wikiwing:

Hexagram 23, Stripping Away. What you may need to do with your notions of ‘direction to go’, ie with plans and purposes, in order to liberate the vitality of hexagram 3 and make a genuinely new start. This is rarely easy; maybe this is what’s ‘difficult’ about beginning?

Click to expand...

Are you carrying around some unwarrented fears about dating? Or some baggage to do with the last relationship? I wonder because 23 and 3 are images of a sprout trying to find its way from below the earth to the sun, a new shoot, brand new fragile and precious new beginning, just entering into the world, and 23 is about a fully grown mature tree (or bush, not sure) that has branched in so many different directions that its lost its way, and needs to be cut right back down to the roots.

It could be much simpler though, it could just be that you and him are in a state of finding it difficult to initiate, who should make the next move?

12.4>20 is interesting, as its the 4th line and is coming out of the bad state of 12, which is about being amongst people who aren't very accepting of others or just of you, I often think of it as a very 'cliquey' hex. Once you reach the heart line (4) your free from that inner state of disconnectedness, and your on the path back to tai (11), your on the right track. 20 is about seeing everything, getting a real overview of all the elements ( in this case, maybe seeing the date properly, without the rose tinted glasses of a first meeting). I think whats happening now, is that you or him is in a state of trying to figure out if you or him is one of the 'non-people' of hex 12, and whether or not to persue it further. You need to really take an overview of this date without any preconceptions, or illusions that can make you think of it as being more that what it actually was I think.

its interesting again that wikiwing has the description if this hex as

Obstruction, Blocked. A bird that does not land (brings no messages), or a shoot that is cut off at ground level.

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yet another image of a plant in growth but somehow has been blocked.

Could there be some technical issue? as in, maybe a message is trying to be received, but is somehow blocked? This line is about 'receiving the mandate', there is a message here, and you need to see it (20). I'm just throwing this out there, as often yi has actually tried to impart a very real, down to earth 'technical' message to me. Did you swap numbers or emails? I might look at the dating websites inbox, and spam messages or something along those lines. It might not be this at all, but just something to consider.

I hope some of this might help you along Yellocat. Best of luck with joining the dating pool again

Yx

Dear Yxeli, Thankyou so much for this reply. It makes a lot of sense and the advice
is very useful. best wishes

yellowcat said:

Hello and thanks for reading my thread.

Iam in my 50s and after a 27 year marriage and a painful follow-on relationship I joined a dating site a couple of months ago. I met up with a few nice guys (but no chemistry).
ten days ago I went out with someone new and a spark was there and good company. he was very keen and texted me afterwards to say he looked forward to seeing me again. I haven't heard from since. What did I do wrong?

I received hexagram 3 unchanging. Not my fault?

I then asked what is happening now between me and this man.
I received hexagram 12.4 changing to 20

I take it that things might be changing and not to worry?

Many thanks

Click to expand...

3 separates the men from the boys, or at least the really free men, not the "Oh, we've already decided to get a divorce" man.

I think Yi reminds you in 12.4, if you think about it, you are in control of who you see or date, you have that mandate, even now during this period of separation. You have no reason to beat up on yourself. You are taking a look at life from higher up than usual, and you are being seen by many too. Lise says 12 means saying "no". Maybe you or he felt obligated to talk again, but he said no... for whatever reason. Be sure of this: there's things about him you don't know. You just found out an important one: he is not a man of his word. No, unacceptable. Don't blame yourself, assume the mandate.. ha.. just noticed man-date.