Hi,

I am confused by the following hexagrams.

Can someone shed some light on them for me please?

Q: How is my ex feeling about her situation?
A: 36.1.3.4 >16

And, How do I attract my ex back into my life as my lover?
A: 23.2.4 64

Both scenarios seem quite dark and drastic however leading to somewhat more positive looking scenes.

Can you help me to understand them please?

Thankyou in advance,

Moses

Hi Moses,

36>16 looks to me like someone wounded, very hurt by whatever has happened between you guys in the past. It could also mean she feels misunderstood by you, and that while you were together, she was forced to hide her true self away, she had to play a role. 16 is about big images, big imagination and possibly delusions. Lofting had this combination by way of 55, another 'confusion' filled hex, many thoughts and ideas, not being able to string them together into anything 'real' or cohesive. She extremely hurt and confused.shes hiding herself away because she thinks you won't understand her properly, there was too many facades during your relationship that shes now in the process of recovering from. Did you presume alot about her when you were together? This combination gives me the feeling that you might have jumped to some massive conclusions about her and they had no basis in reality.

23>64 says you need to start looking beyond the surface of things. you need to check the way you draw perspectives about her, theres alot of facades involved in this combination, jumping to the wrong conlcusions because you didnt get under her skin, search out the truth, you may have been following too much of what she 'seemed' to be, without talking to her directly about it, or searching under her outer shell.

In both of these combinations, theres major illusions being thought of as correct, when they're not. I would also not force a reconciliation with her, if shes in 36, you need to give her her own amount of time to heal. 23>64 is about your own delusions about her, that you need to strip away. if you work on yourself and figure out where you went wrong, then with time you can approach her with clear vision and can really start to 'see' her. You haven't been seeing her true self. maybe going on other peoples understanding about her too much? or not asking for clarification? presuming you got her right?


Hope this helps,

Yx
Yx

Dear Moses,

I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling with this relationship. Here are few ideas that might help you.

Q: How is my ex feeling about her situation?
A: 36.1.3.4 >16
Well, you must have already figured out that there is something really bad happening to her. The problem is both external and internal (I think that she is suffering from depression and finding it really difficult to cope with the problem).
She seems to have realised what the source of the problem is, but this is something that has been going on for a while, so it cannot be sorted out altogether overnight. But my impression is that she is about to make a decision to get her out of this situation. She feels that there is no point in fighting the problem any more, things are unlikely to improve, so she needs to get out., whatever the situation might be.

And, How do I attract my ex back into my life as my lover?
A: 23.2.4 64
I don't think that the Yi is telling you how to do that, I am afraid. But what the Yi is telling you is that the situation between you and your ex is in such a bad state that whatever you try to do it simply doesn't work. It is also saying that this is affecting you deeply, both on practical and emotional level. You have no peace of mind any more. It is like the whole structure is being split apart, it is collapsing altogether. Maybe it does need disintegrating completely and then you can consider if you can leave the old structure behind and re-start on a completely different basis.

Take care:bows:

Hi Yxeli,

Thankyou, it does really help alot. It makes me very sad too as essentially the description you have given me is exactly how I felt in the relationship. But regardless of feeling misunderstood, I still wanted to try to get over the issues and communicate.....

I'm not sure if all is lost now, as I think she may have found someone new. Yi seems to think so. I thought it was this that the above answer was about. Hiding herself away becauseof not wanting to hurt me. Keeping secrets about a new love for fear of creating more problems for us.

Seems there is alot of confusion around us and not much communicating. I don't even know what questions to ask anymore.

Any ideas?

Moses

Hi again,

I should also add that the question was posed to Yi about her current situation and not about our relationship. There just seems to be a fair bit of cloak and dagger you see.

Believe me I was far from perfect in our relationship. So everything you said I will take on board. But something seems to be missing.

Does anything I have said lend any more insight to the original reading for you?

Thankyou for the time it has taken for you to look at my reading... We both thank you.

Moses

36 can be yi saying to you 'hide your understanding'. dont look out. You have to almost stop searching in 36. the more you uncover, the more hurt there is. maybe she has found someone new. 13 in your other thread indicates she see you as a friend, nothing more.

sorry moses to be the bearer of bad news, but everything has its own time. if you can really assimilate that last sentence ive just typed, you can relax into this time. its painfull and dark and thats what time it is. You need this time to process. everything your feeling is part of an ongoing process. if you can accept this time, then you can start to heal. you cant force the right time. the right time comes when its the right time. not before and not after.


Yx

mirian said:

Dear Moses,

I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling with this relationship. Here are few ideas that might help you.

Q: How is my ex feeling about her situation?
A: 36.1.3.4 >16
Well, you must have already figured out that there is something really bad happening to her. The problem is both external and internal (I think that she is suffering from depression and finding it really difficult to cope with the problem).
She seems to have realised what the source of the problem is, but this is something that has been going on for a while, so it cannot be sorted out altogether overnight. But my impression is that she is about to make a decision to get her out of this situation. She feels that there is no point in fighting the problem any more, things are unlikely to improve, so she needs to get out., whatever the situation might be.

And, How do I attract my ex back into my life as my lover?
A: 23.2.4 64
I don't think that the Yi is telling you how to do that, I am afraid. But what the Yi is telling you is that the situation between you and your ex is in such a bad state that whatever you try to do it simply doesn't work. It is also saying that this is affecting you deeply, both on practical and emotional level. You have no peace of mind any more. It is like the whole structure is being split apart, it is collapsing altogether. Maybe it does need disintegrating completely and then you can consider if you can leave the old structure behind and re-start on a completely different basis.

Take care:bows:

Click to expand...

Thankyou so much Miriam!!

Thankyou for shedding your light on my situation. It makes a hell of alot of sense!

Love Moses

Thanks for your feedback Moses,

Just to add a little something. When you asked How do I attract my ex back into my life as my lover? A: 23.2.4 64 my view is that you cannot even think in terms of romantic reconciliation at the moment. Sorry to say that, but trust me I have had this reading (Hex 23.2.4) many times before and there is nothing that you can do right now to stop this splitting apart happening. If there is any chance of reconciliation -and I am not saying that there is (because I cannot see this in your reading) - first this relationship is being stripped, de-constructed, dismantled, so nothing will be the same as it used to be. In my view, your attitude and approach to her needs re-thinking entirely. It is a whole new structure that needs to be created, your relationship with her, as you know it, does not exist any more. I am sorry to say that but there are readings that you cannot just turn you back to and carry on asking other questions, before dealing with the main issue.

Hope that helps a bit (I know, sometimes we wish we hadn't asked the Yi)

You know Mirian,

I have been through these lines with her before and we managed to get back together.... Now we are doing it again....

I always just want to get to the truth and to understand the situation. And I just appreciate you answering them. That's enough for me! The rest I can then start to truly try to do or in this case not do anything about it.

With knowledge I can then start to make informed choices. I don't ask for psychotherapy, just for the answer to the question asked. Yi i not the easiest to understand at the best of times FOR ME. So having your help to understand is like gold and I thankyou for it. I also appreciate you not trying to psycho-analyse me.

I just believe in love, simple and plain and it seems Yi and "my ex" agree that to give up hope is not quite the call either (What kind of future does "my ex" see for us romantically?: 5.2.3.5>24)

Look, maybe I'm dreaming. But I am aware that its time to let go of what was. Maybe this is the way to approach any relationship, to let go. So that's what I will have to do. Regardless of whatever lies in the future.

Thank you again Mirian,

Moses

Dear Moses,

I have just thought about bits of my experience that might help you. The thing about the Yi is that its not only about the understanding that you get from your readings (in terms of information, clarification, etc..) but also about the use that you make of your readings.

For instance, when you get Q: How is my ex feeling about her situation? A: 36.1.3.4 >16 the Yi is telling you that your ex is not in a good place right now. So, what do you make of this? Does she need help? Can you help her? Is it possible for you and her to talk openly about her situation?

The same applies to the question What kind of future does "my ex" see for us romantically?: 5.2.3.5>24) The Yi is describing her view on your relationship with this "waiting time" hexagram. Sometimes, there are things in life that we cannot have now, as we want. But there are different ways of waiting, which your lines are talking about. You can wait in anxiety, anger, frustration or you can wait in calm, acceptance, relaxation, in confidence that the future will be for the better.

Again, why does she seem to think that for you two is time to wait? What are you waiting for? What is your attitude?

I just think that you need to start really using your readings (you have got some very good interpretations from yxeli on the other thread too) not only to look into the situations but to bring the readings into your reality.

Hope it helps. Take care:bows:

Hi Mirian,

mirian said:

Dear Moses,

I have just thought about bits of my experience that might help you. The thing about the Yi is that its not only about the understanding that you get from your readings (in terms of information, clarification, etc..) but also about the use that you make of your readings.

For instance, when you get Q: How is my ex feeling about her situation? A: 36.1.3.4 >16 the Yi is telling you that your ex is not in a good place right now. So, what do you make of this? Does she need help? Can you help her? Is it possible for you and her to talk openly about her situation?

The same applies to the question What kind of future does "my ex" see for us romantically?: 5.2.3.5>24) The Yi is describing her view on your relationship with this "waiting time" hexagram. Sometimes, there are things in life that we cannot have now, as we want. But there are different ways of waiting, which your lines are talking about. You can wait in anxiety, anger, frustration or you can wait in calm, acceptance, relaxation, in confidence that the future will be for the better.

Click to expand...

Yes indeed very good questions. I ask myself those questions no end And I think I do have an Idea. Believe me, its not that I don't think about these things. The problem here may well be that I think too much about them. I know what I am waiting for... And essentially its her. Though I'm not waiting in her front room tapping my feet or anything. I don't pressurise her, I'm not in her face. I'm just busy trying to get my career back on track. Its very important to me and to her too I would more than imagine.

However, those questions are still mighty valid. BTW....When I read that 36.1.3.4 >16.... I did immeadiately think, "call her... find out whats wrong"... But I also thought... wait... respect her space... if shes in 36 "mode" then privacy could be the one thing she needs. Just let her know you are there for her. And also....(I am also accused of being pushy when I am excited, so I'm also trying to make an effort there). And neither am I a mind reader either. My ex is a click away from CIA style secrecy/privacy.... even when we were living together! And I appreciate that too, because so am I, and neither do I want to know every little thing about what is happening. Damn near impossible anyway. ALL I WANT TO DO IS HELP. But there's also, there's only so much one can do. WAITING(5) is literally the only other part of it I can do in the time between so to speak.

Yi also advised not to try and make any rescue attempt unless I wanted to find myself in deeper $%^%T. AND I CAN WELL DO WITHOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

But something very strange happened yesterday. I was reading yours and Yxelis interpretations of which I agree with most of (some is just plain wrong imo) and I decided to ask Yi what is the MAIN ISSUE that keeps us apart? And I got a very clear answer that needs little help to understand and it was: 38.6 54 which also took me back to earlier readings about talebearers and traitors creating problems. Anyway, I have no wish to bore you further

I guess all I was wanting to say was that things do seem to be taking a turn all ready.... I think it may be a fair while before we are out of the woods... At least imo.... well, in yours too
Nevertheless I have asked a couple of questions about how to overcome the main issues, and I regularly ask for an overall image of my relationship. And the result have been most encouraging and positive.

Mirian.... your advice about choosing which way to wait is most poignant. I have a tendency toward worry, not the most admirable trait I know, but I am trying to do something about it believe me. But you are so right. It is most helpful to be reminded of the little things.

And I must also add, that with relationship questions it can be most confusing. When receiving an answer I ask myself first of all, what is Yi trying to tell me? Then, is that answer about me or my ex? Then, is that answer directed at me or is it an answer to the question? If I don't ask for help from you or someone with more experience....... I am F****d. (Sorry, there's no other way to put it) .....And thats before getting to the related hex and whether its a future situation and/or a context, because I am damn sure that changes too.

Whatever.....

Anyway, I guess all I am saying, or wanting you to take away with you is my gratitude. And If I show up on this forum again (and I'm sure I will) I hope for the same compassion you have shown me. Isnt that what the I ching is essentially about, the way of the superior wo/man?

So, once again, Thankyou.

Love Moses