35.2.3.5 > 44

There's nothing in the archives with this particular combination. Go forth, it says, all will be well, it says, progress...but then 44 which I personally call a "Do not go there" hexagram.

The question was about what I should know about the future developments between myself and X. Things have been going well. I guess things will continue to progress but as long as they don't progress towards romantic engagement all will be well? That's kind of what I am worrying about. There is this undercurrent of frisson but I am convinced it would be a bad idea to indulge it. I am more than happy with friendship. Is Yi backing me up on this?

In the context of 44, which I would venture to guess is your fear and reluctance about this becoming a dangerous liaison, the yi seems to be saying "go ahead anyway"..don't be concerned about good/bad, right/wrong just move forward with this.

So yes and no; but I honestly don't think the Yi is backing you up on it being a bad idea to indulge the idea of "frisson" , it is telling you the way is open to develop this friendship, even as the temptation and possibilities of romantic engagement seem frightening to you.

I experience 44 as a situation where there needs to be specific goals or boundaries - otherwise the wind just blows all over the sky and where we end up is out of our control.

rosada

Thanks both. My experience with 44 is - don't go there, it looks attractive, but it bites.

I'm moving forward, but it's interesting to note rosada's theory about clear boundaries/goals - those are lacking. At the moment boundaries and goals that are in operation are individual and not obvious, I mean I don't even know for myself what they are. One minute I think my opinion on the situation is defined, and I want "this", but face to face with the devil and I find myself unsure of "this" and moving towards *that* instead. Then away from it all, I am like ' someone please tell me what the heck is going on here'

*le sigh

@precision grace: My experiances with 44 has been: Go away!!! Sorry, can`t tell you something different. There is one case when 44 turns out good and not bad and that is when prince and his official come together but that is not a sexual relationship!!! At 44 there is only one relationship connection between line 1 and 4, but 4 ignore 1, 2 and 5 are both yang, 3 should not and 6 is a bit...too hard. So no relationship harmony at all.

So when 44 appears in a relationship question....it means: Ask your head!!! Feelings are barely to control (very strong, much passion, much attraction) that`s why this hexagramm is also called: Seduction.

I choose this thread because I`m in this situation also right at this moment. Since a couple of months, but I master it exactly the way rosada recommended. Thank you rosada, makes me feel good to get acknowledgement. I have to see this man because we have to work together on an online project which is very important for me. So I can`t GET AWAY.

In final desperation I asked my head if he really suits to me and the answer was a quite clear: NO. So I had to face that all this attraction is only sexual and for me there is no question... I don`t do just half things. So what is the consequence???

Only friendship as far as possible and it works. He stopped calling me and I don`t need to see him more often than necessary and everything is just fine. My goal is: Good working together and not more. So the boundary is only friendship and the goal is good working together as colleagues.

I didn`t lose anything, because the I Ching was right and my head was right. If he really would be interested into me as a person, he would talk to me, try to get to know me really but he doesn`t. So you can SEE what is COMING, when you see what he does. It is one of those cases where one NOT should listen to his emotions because they lie.

Intresting would be the question: Are we talking about someone new in your life or is it your actual, long year lasting relationship (you don`t need to answer me if this is too private, but keep in mind) because that changes things a little bit. If you trust the person, forget what I said. Then 44 can mean a temporary (probably good thing) for you both. But if we call about a new contact, you don`t know nothing about him and so on then be careful at least, very careful.

What you should fear is not the man but your own feelings ;-)

After all: Hexagrams come and leave. Today 44, tomorrow 33 What I mean: Do you get a certain hexagram once or 10 times? That makes a big difference. Once means: Okay we will see *keep on smiling* 10 times (or so) means: Look at it and understand, it is very important. You will get this certain hexagram as long as you don`t mastered the situation and that can be long.

Cheers Yvonne

Thank you Yvonne, it's always helpful to hear other people's experiences!

You ask some interesting questions:

Intresting would be the question: Are we talking about someone new in your life or is it your actual, long year lasting relationship (you don`t need to answer me if this is too private, but keep in mind) because that changes things a little bit. If you trust the person, forget what I said.

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This person is fairly new - since only a few months but sometimes you just 'click' with people I guess. I don't know what is an acceptable period of time to know someone before one can trust them, but although I find it hard to trust anyone I have confided in this person more than once. We talked about more than just work, but it is always light hearted and friendly. Only this Monday I got a spontaneous hug when I said I'd been ill - mind you, that did surprise me a lot. We lend eachother stuff. But we never meet outside the office and every time I think we've moved past the romantic/sexual thing, something brings it back (to me). I actually have no idea how he feels about me at all.

I can totally see myself being really close friends with this guy but I am not at all sure about a relationship - purely based on what my head has to say about it So, it would be nice to have it settled one way or another, but I also have no desire to force things just to have a solution if that solution isn't going to be the right solution. I am therefore resigned to feeling unsettled about this for a while longer.

I've never had 44 about this before. I had a lot of 38 and 19

Hi precision grace, I think this sounds good. Exactly that was it, what I meant with "be carefully at least". Coming to meet, means coming to meet. So it is destinated to meet the principle of darkness, so it is "right" to meet it. It`s more the question HOW you meet it *lol*. Sorry for being so honesty *lol*.

Yeah, look at it (him) and find out what it is, take your time and things will be become clear.

About trust: Pffffffffff heavy word. If someone is treating you good, probably you can trust him/her. There is a great quote by Theodor W. Adorno (I`ll try to translate): "You`re only loved where you can be weak without provoke strongness/hardness."

Means: Someone who really loves you or just like you really as a friend would never be hard to you, when you open up yourself really to him. That quote is really good because actually it can proves relationships.

good luck

Oh and don`t forget to tell us, how the story ended *being absolutely not curious*

Ooops, sorry I have forgotten something: The change right before the hexagram changed into 44 has been 50.5 I wrote it down. This is a really good omen and could mean that you will see the LIGHT before you get into a .... uncomfortably.. situation.

I had the same combination, short before I decided not to "marry" with, what is coming here. So, I trust in you

Cheers Yvonne

do you mean 35.5? rather than 50.5?

Hi Precision Grace,
I mean 50.5

If you write down the change of one line after another you get more hexagrams than just one, respectively two.

I`ll show you Write this down please, then you see what I mean:

Your first hexagram has been 35.2.3.5 now you write down the hexagram which would be if the second line changes, it is:64.3.5 which is also not bad because you read the lines from the bottom to the top, means: 3 happens before 5. So it ends up 5, and everything is fine, because everything will turn out VERY well If you change now the 3rd line you will see 50.5 also a pretty good omen, means you are in tune with Tao (maybe you call it Yi (?) here sorry I don`t know the word yi at all) and whatever decision you will make, it will be right and this one finaly changes into 44, but 44 is STILL unchanged, so don`t worry.

Could mean everything for the moment, but my own experiances with 44 makes me a little bit nervous, when I hear from it *lol*. Maybe I`ll tell you someday my hardest 44 Story, then you would understand.

Maybe we should talk again if you get 44 more often up from now, and especially when it starts to change. If this not happen, don`t worry, because the rest of your... I guess you call it "reading" here sounds really NOT bad, could be really worse *lol*. Just be careful (in contact with the new guy) and honesty to yourself, then everything will be allright. At least it does look like, if I look at your oracle. Three times fith place is really NOT bad

Cheers Yvonne

What should I know about the fact that I keep going back to thinking about this guy in terms of having a relationship?

I got 28.1.3.4.5 > 19

On the whole -completely untenable, and then, within that, at certain points, like it could maybe work. So, what is a person to learn from something like that?

Hi precision grace,
I`ll give you the key and you meditate about it

28.1.3.4.5 > 43.3.4.5 > 58.4.5.> 60.5 >19

I can help you if you don`t understand the one or another line because I changed them all (more often than I wished), but first look at it by yourself please and tell us what you think does it mean.

Best wishes Yvonne

thank you 42, how did you derive the successive hexagrams?

I will mediate in depth on those, but at first glance, it still looks like an echo of my thoughts about this subject only drilled down into finer details.

Hi precision Grace,
I derive the hexagrams by changing one line after another. I discovered this kind of write down the hexagrams by reading a book of Georg Zimmermann (German I Ching and Taoism Expert).

You write down the first Hexagram and then you change the first line (from the bottom to the top) and this would be line 1 of 28. If you write down now to what it would change then you get 43.3.4.5 and so on, you know?

Write it down!!! You SEE what I did if you write down all hexagrams in a line beside each other. I change one line after another and let the upper lines as they are, means: Only change the lowest line to a new hexagram. The result is a line of hexagrams which gives you way more information than only 2 Hexagrams like: 28.1.3.4.5 >19

Sometimes I even can see past, present and future at this line of hexagrams, but not always, it depends on what Yi (I know now what you all mean with Yi, lol) wishes to tell me.

This line of hexagrams (normally) shows the developement if all lines at the first hexagram REALLY will change. So it gives you the possibility to see what will happen if you change actually all the lines at the first hexagram and so you can decide WHAT to do. Wanna have this developement = Change the lines. Don`t wanna have this developement = Avoid changing the lines which lead to problems, you know?

So my suggestion: Take all your oracles concerning the guy again and write them down as I did here because you will get further information then which would be helpful I guess.

For the moment it looks to me like something you should avoid. Especially 58.4.5 recommends this direction because to be satisfied should come from YOURSELF!!!!

Look at 58.1 and 2. this is the right condition for to encounter others. First you need to find the joy into yourself and then you can SHARE this joy with someone else. If you don`t find FIRST the joy into yourself you will make the mistake to look for it at others and that will lead you into an unhealthy addiction. That is what 58. is about.

We always try hard to find what we need OUTSIDE and so we don`t SEE that we already own ALL we need for being happy Stop searching outside, there is no use. It is in you waiting for you to take it finaly.

Best wishes Yvonne

Thanks 42, that method is way too elaborate and belaboured for my liking. I'm a very simple soul and while I will welcome a reductionist approach, this seems to me to be creating more than is there. Like you are reading things into it that are not part of the original reading.

I think I prefer to work with just two hexagrams: one with changing lines, one 'resulting'.

In this latest instance, I was asking about my own state of mind, for example, and not about the potential of any liaison. Why am I thinking in this way? And Yi said - this is why. And Yi was right, as I let time pass and meditate more, things from my own mind that have been hidden from me keep coming up for inspection. I have no idea if this guy is the right guy - most likely not; but currently, he seems to be the right guy for getting me to clarify my own thinking about relationships and what I want, and this is, as you rightly pointed out, the really important bit. I am not looking for anyone to complete me but I am looking for someone to complement me. I don't agree with your idea that we can't find what we need OUTSIDE - that's silly. If we didn't need outside, we would be totally self sufficient and god-like; there would be no need for food, for toilets, for bathrooms, for interactions of any kind with anyone else. Clearly, we need great many things from the OUTSIDE..

Hi precision grace: Don`t get me wrong. I didn`t mean that one should not look for his (real) partner (outside). I just mean that one should not look for the wrong one in a wrong way The reasons for relationship must be true, that`s the point. Outside and inside is the same. That is the other point. The outside is an echo of your inside. So if you have got problems outside go inside for to find the causes.

What you said about complete and complement is the same. The complement completes you. So I see there is a need to make my words more clear: I just mean look in the right way for the right guy.

About writing down hexagrams like I do: No problem, it was just a suggestion. Something you could try for making experiments with it. There are a lot of different ways to read a hexagram but everybody has to find his own way, so if you feel better by getting just 2 hexagrams it is probably the right way for you.

Best wishes Yvonne

Thank you Yvonne, can you just clarify - did you see somewhere in the hexagram I cast the instruction of what is the right way to look for this right guy?

I totally agree with you in principle, and I even sort of see what you mean about complement/complete, although I think we are all complete and the complement is more like choosing a wine to go with your meal or a vegetable to go with your meat - rather than a yin for one's yang, type of thing, but that's just me. {I apologise unreservedly for the meat and veg metaphor}

precision grace said:

Thank you Yvonne, can you just clarify - did you see somewhere in the hexagram I cast the instruction of what is the right way to look for this right guy?

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I see it in one of the "derivated" hexagrams at 58.4.5. This means to hopefully get not attracted by the "wrong" things. But if you like it rather if I look for it at 28.1.3.4.5. I could also do.

Hexagram 28:
line 1: Being very, very carefully (I already told you a couple of days ago ;-)), (Yin on Yang position/place = fortune)

line 3: The sh.. happens = The preponderance of the great happen. So I would highly recommend to avoid changing this line. All lines which quality is different to position have fortune. All lines which have same quality as position have misfortune because this will cause the preponderance of the great. Line 3 is Yang line on Yang position so the misfortune happen. So the solution is being soft on strong position = being Yin on Yang place or being strong on soft position = being Yang on Yin place.

line 4: Looks much better. Fortune because Yang is on a Yin position. So it can mean that you find the right way at this stage, but it seems not to stop at this stage because you also had:

line 5: Not good. Yang on Yang position = misfortune. Is this guy younger than you? If "Yes" then I would take it literally.

If you have got more than one line at a hexagram you need to read it from the bottom to the top and that means that the lower lines happen first. So you see also here a developement.

Best wishes Yvonne

Thank you, again.

forty two said:

I see it in one of the "derivated" hexagrams at 58.4.5. This means to hopefully get not attracted by the "wrong" things. But if you like it rather if I look for it at 28.1.3.4.5. I could also do.

Hexagram 28:
line 1: Being very, very carefully (I already told you a couple of days ago ;-)), (Yin on Yang position/place = fortune)

line 3: The sh.. happens = The preponderance of the great happen. So I would highly recommend to avoid changing this line. All lines which quality is different to position have fortune. All lines which have same quality as position have misfortune because this will cause the preponderance of the great. Line 3 is Yang line on Yang position so the misfortune happen. So the solution is being soft on strong position = being Yin on Yang place or being strong on soft position = being Yang on Yin place.

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I am not sure how to avoid changing this line when it is already changed??

line 4: Looks much better. Fortune because Yang is on a Yin position. So it can mean that you find the right way at this stage, but it seems not to stop at this stage because you also had:

line 5: Not good. Yang on Yang position = misfortune. Is this guy younger than you? If "Yes" then I would take it literally.

If you have got more than one line at a hexagram you need to read it from the bottom to the top and that means that the lower lines happen first. So you see also here a developement.

Best wishes Yvonne

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yes, he is a lot younger than me, so that applies literally. Bradford's take on this line is not as negative as in some other texts, personally, I can never figure out what the original meaning of the line is - rejuvenation of something that was thought long dead OR combining things that shouldn't naturally be combined. (or both which would make it a line of a zombie or a vampire hahaha)


I can't figure out what are the wrong things I am being attracted by.. or rather, why are they wrong. If I am attracted to kindness in someone, how can that be a wrong thing?!

precision grace said:

I am not sure how to avoid changing this line when it is already changed??

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Is it? Already changed? If "yes" you can`t do anything than just to go on trying get back balance as quickly as possible. If I stumble because I lost balance, I try to get back to balance as fast as possible. Same here for the case if the line has already changed. Yi tells me often: "Oh Yvonne what have you done here?" Then I`m scared and asking:"What can I do to fix it, what can I do to fix it??" Yi tells me and I do. It is that simple.

I want to say: There is always a way to correct mistakes in just trying to get back on right track again as fast as possible, getting back to balance. Misfortune happens if one does the same mistakes again, and again, and again. If you change quickly into a better direction you can avoid misfortune IN TIME or at least the big misfortune and hopefully only get smashed by a "little" misfortune

precision grace said:

yes, he is a lot younger than me, so that applies literally. Bradford's take on this line is not as negative as in some other texts, personally, I can never figure out what the original meaning of the line is - rejuvenation of something that was thought long dead OR combining things that shouldn't naturally be combined. (or both which would make it a line of a zombie or a vampire hahaha)

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I only know 2 meanings of this line (28.5) the literally one and the political: (source: I Ching 3rd Book the Commentaries): Applied to politics, the metaphor means that if in times of insecurity we give up alliance with those below us and keep up only the relationships we have with people of higher rank, an unstable situation is created.


All in all it probably means: You can get this guy if you really want but it won`t make you happy for long. Maybe a quick adventure or something like that. You produce emotions for something which probably won`t last and so it costs you energy you should save up for a better relationship. That`s how I understand line 5 in this case. There is no blame and no praise because it is not important, a bit useless.

precision grace said:

I can't figure out what are the wrong things I am being attracted by.. or rather, why are they wrong. If I am attracted to kindness in someone, how can that be a wrong thing?!

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Maybe he`s a liar? Or maybe he doesn`t know what he is talking? Today this, tomorrow that? Maybe it is simply passion and has nothing to do with real love? This all could be wrong things. It is wrong enough if he doesn`t suit to you (in the long run). And it is wrong if passion leads you, because it is a feeling which can`t be trust.

You should never get into a relationship because of passion. If there is love AND passion it is right but, to be honesty: How often we exchange passion with love, hm? Haha. I don`t know how old you are but probably you had already a couple of relationships. How often have you thought it would be love and then recognized: Passion had lead you into the trouble?

By the way: R.L Wing says about 28.5 that one should not ignore reality and keep himself to his basics/fundamentals in other words: Reality. For me it sounds like a warning not to build up a castle in the air.

Best wishes Yvonne

forty two said:

Is it? Already changed? If "yes" you can`t do anything than just to go on trying get back balance as quickly as possible. If I stumble because I lost balance, I try to get back to balance as fast as possible. Same here for the case if the line has already changed. Yi tells me often: "Oh Yvonne what have you done here?" Then I`m scared and asking:"What can I do to fix it, what can I do to fix it??" Yi tells me and I do. It is that simple.

I want to say: There is always a way to correct mistakes in just trying to get back on right track again as fast as possible, getting back to balance. Misfortune happens if one does the same mistakes again, and again, and again. If you change quickly into a better direction you can avoid misfortune IN TIME or at least the big misfortune and hopefully only get smashed by a "little" misfortune

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I am confused. If the hexagram comes up with a changing line, that isn't that line already 'changed'? Or perhaps you see it as a warning - if you continue with this, this line will change and therefore you will get...whatever. Does that work even if you don't view the resulting hexagram as a result rather than the background? Do you think line 3 is warning of what will happen, not what has already happened?

I only know 2 meanings of this line (28.5) the literally one and the political: (source: I Ching 3rd Book the Commentaries): Applied to politics, the metaphor means that if in times of insecurity we give up alliance with those below us and keep up only the relationships we have with people of higher rank, an unstable situation is created.


All in all it probably means: You can get this guy if you really want but it won`t make you happy for long. Maybe a quick adventure or something like that. You produce emotions for something which probably won`t last and so it costs you energy you should save up for a better relationship. That`s how I understand line 5 in this case. There is no blame and no praise because it is not important, a bit useless.

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I agree.

Maybe he`s a liar? Or maybe he doesn`t know what he is talking? Today this, tomorrow that? Maybe it is simply passion and has nothing to do with real love? This all could be wrong things. It is wrong enough if he doesn`t suit to you (in the long run). And it is wrong if passion leads you, because it is a feeling which can`t be trust.

You should never get into a relationship because of passion. If there is love AND passion it is right but, to be honesty: How often we exchange passion with love, hm? Haha. I don`t know how old you are but probably you had already a couple of relationships. How often have you thought it would be love and then recognized: Passion had lead you into the trouble?

By the way: R.L Wing says about 28.5 that one should not ignore reality and keep himself to his basics/fundamentals in other words: Reality. For me it sounds like a warning not to build up a castle in the air.

Best wishes Yvonne

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I am not as young as I sound and have a fair few heartbreaks behind me, but I can honestly say that I have never been led by passion. I have far too much Aquarius in my chart for that to happen. If passion had any way to over-rule my head, this guy and I would have happened a long time ago

But good point about reality. I have been aware for some time that I have extrapolated the qualities I like in this guy and made up a fantasy guy in my head. This is why I am always taken aback whenever we actually meet because it's never like I imagine it in my head.

I have also learned to listen and accept "The Signs" so as not to make same mistakes over and over again.

Much gratitude for your time and energy :bows:

precision grace said:

I am confused. If the hexagram comes up with a changing line, that isn't that line already 'changed'? Or perhaps you see it as a warning - if you continue with this, this line will change and therefore you will get...whatever. Does that work even if you don't view the resulting hexagram as a result rather than the background? Do you think line 3 is warning of what will happen, not what has already happened?

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It depends on your question.
If you ask: What happens right now? Then Yi shows you the present. You get a mirror image of the situation right now. There you can see what is going on and you can change, if it`s necessary.

If you ask: What will happen... ? Yi shows you the future. Lines which will change if you don`t change your direction your on at the moment. If it looks good just go on, if it looks horrible, think about how to change, because you have got the chance to change.

If you ask: Why? It can be that Yi shows you past, present and future same time. Or only past, only present and even only future.

If you ask: What? Mostly present and future appears.

But to be honesty: There is no generally (100%) rule, because the I ching talks like it wants. It counts on you that you understand right . So Everybody has really his own I Ching, because it adapts to your ability to understand, heavenly thing it is

The more you learn about the I Ching, it`s vocabularies, the symbols, the trigrams, inner and outer trigrams, meaning of the lines, the allegories and so... the better the communication It tells you more and more, the more you are able to understand.

So just look at the hexagram and you find out what already happened, what is at the moment and what will happen. So if you wanna find out if 28.3 has changed already, ask yourself: Am I out of balance? And/or Having big trouble with the guy? Is something out of control? If it is not, the line hasn`t changed yet. Then you should beware of changing it. If it is already changed just go onward to line 4. Get back balance and if you are clever stop at this stage, because I see no sense in changing line 5.

I looked for ALL information I have got about 28.5 and found something in addition. Hubert Geurts a german Author and Psychologist has written an I Ching Interpretation and he says about 28.5:

While being in an unstable situation we try to start something new (!), this will lead to a short blossom out, which burns up our little resources even more. Progress, like we wished, is it NOT.

Georg Zimmermann said about the fith line that the husband she gets is line 6 at the hexagram so I would be quite curious: Is he a gentle one? Yin man? Sorry for asking it is just I`m really curious if Georg Zimmermann is right here. You can pm me if it is too private.

That was finaly all. But concerning: "Which time is it" at a hexagram, keep in mind to read the lines from the bottom to the top and then ask yourself if the one or another line has already changed or not, then you are oriented quite well.

precision grace said:

I am not as young as I sound and have a fair few heartbreaks behind me, but I can honestly say that I have never been led by passion. I have far too much Aquarius in my chart for that to happen. If passion had any way to over-rule my head, this guy and I would have happened a long time ago

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I don`t only mean passion. I mean wishes, desires in generally. It is important to ask oneself which motives leads one into a relationship. There are a lot which are not the right ones, but we would need hours to write them down *lol* I can`t tell you all destructive wishes which may could be. But being honesty to oneself helps a lot to find out what are "legal"/constructive desires, wishes, passions and what not.

precision grace said:

But good point about reality. I have been aware for some time that I have extrapolated the qualities I like in this guy and made up a fantasy guy in my head. This is why I am always taken aback whenever we actually meet because it's never like I imagine it in my head.

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Fine, there you see the danger of wishes,haha. The wishes and desires make that we see what we wish and not what really is. This is the danger of wishes and desires, described at hexagram 58.

precision grace said:

I have also learned to listen and accept "The Signs" so as not to make same mistakes over and over again.

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Goooooooooooooooooooooood Otherwise there would be no sense in asking the I Ching. I know it is a real tough Master and sometimes I also would rather wish to close my eyes (because it would be more comfortably for the moment), but I know the price has to be paid. Consequences are coming and so.... better obey/listen

precision grace said:

Much gratitude for your time and energy :bows:

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It has been a pleasure to me You must know: I also learn from reading the hexagrams of others. I have developed a couple of own theories round about the I Ching and talking to others and share readings help me to prove my theories and so it helps me with my own I Ching studies you know? So I also thank you for to share and the pretty good teamwork here :bows:

Best wishes Yvonne

forty two said:

I looked for ALL information I have got about 28.5 and found something in addition. Hubert Geurts a german Author and Psychologist has written an I Ching Interpretation and he says about 28.5:

While being in an unstable situation we try to start something new (!), this will lead to a short blossom out, which burns up our little resources even more. Progress, like we wished, is it NOT.

Georg Zimmermann said about the fith line that the husband she gets is line 6 at the hexagram so I would be quite curious: Is he a gentle one? Yin man? Sorry for asking it is just I`m really curious if Georg Zimmermann is right here. You can pm me if it is too private.

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If by that you mean if he is effeminate or soft, the answer is no, completely the opposite in terms of outwards appearance, but on the inside I think he can be quite soft. I have a weird way at looking at the world, so it's not certain that my opinion of this guy reflects what he is really like. For example, soon after I had met him someone was asking me if I had seen him and because I wasn't sure of his name, I asked them to describe this person, and they said: You know, X, really big guy? And I thought of someone else because for reasons I cannot fathom I don't perceive him as big even though, when I look with my eyes, he is Huge and like a mountain next to me, but for some reason, I mostly don't look at him, but sort of within if that makes any sense? And of course, my perception of what I see within could be wrong too.

Recently it transpired that I perceive myself as 2-3 times larger than I actually am, so this could maybe explain my odd perception of this guy. What's even odder is that for the first couple of months, I kept catching myself involuntarily thinking "oh, look, it's my husband" whenever I saw him, which was totally freaking me out. Maybe he reminds me of my ex husband in some way I am not aware of? Could that be the line 6?!?!


PS. I just thought of something. I could be described as a very Yang woman. I mean, I'm practically a guy in a woman's body. So every man I go for will by default be a Yin man, whether they are one by themselves or not. So maybe the hexagram was simply pointing this out?

Hi precision grace,
many thanks We will prove this and ask everybody who will change (or have the chance to change) this line the next 2 years here at the forum *lol*. No I don`t mean with yin man that he is effeminate, not like a gay. I mean just a soft man, maybe someone to whom you can talk, a man who is able to SPEAK *lol*. For example. Normally men doesn`t like talking much. Yin man is different, he likes to talk. Yin man is more flexible than stubborn. Yang man are mostly stubborn and don`t like talking much because they rather like acting.

Yang woman: Oh. Okay. I know this "problem" very well Because I`m a real yang machine too, lol. But I try to change at the moment because this yang overweight causes a lot of problems concerning relationships. Either I am dominant in the relationship (when I am together with a yin man) or I look for someone who is not only a Yang machine, but something like a Yang Atombomb you know? Means MORE Yang than me so that I can feel as a female, but the second one, the Yang Atombomb is normally beyond all bearing, means: The relationship is nothing but WAR. Have you made similar experiances?

So for the moment I try to find out for myself, what Yin is. I practise Yin, no joke. I hope it helps me to get more balanced. Maybe when I get it to be more balanced, I can hopefully find a suitable partner who is also well balanced in Yin/Yang.

About seeing the other one not as he is.....that`s why it is better to WAIT. After a while your inner "eye" becomes clear, you know? Do you remember about my 44 seduction I talked about a while ago? The contact started this year in January. Since 10 months I have got the chance to start something with him but I didn`t. I waited until my inner eye is clear again (not confused by feelings) and what shall I say: Now that I have got my feelings under control it is possible to see him like he is and I`m definitely NOT interested, so I`m free

Took me approximatly 8 months for to find out *aaaargh*. It is not that Yi didn`t tell me (that was the reason for being reserved) it was just I couldn`t SEE it clear, because I didn`t know enough about him and because some feelings confused me.

People often start relationships too fast, you know? A couple of weeks or 3 or 4 months are not enough time for to find out (really) who he or she is and if it would really suit. Feelings are confusing your mind, wishes makes you see him/her as the partner of your dreams and so on. The solution is: Wait until the madness ends, until you are clear in mind again and then look at the other.

I wish you all the best Yvonne

forty two said:

Hi precision grace,
many thanks We will prove this and ask everybody who will change (or have the chance to change) this line the next 2 years here at the forum *lol*. No I don`t mean with yin man that he is effeminate, not like a gay. I mean just a soft man, maybe someone to whom you can talk, a man who is able to SPEAK *lol*. For example. Normally men doesn`t like talking much. Yin man is different, he likes to talk. Yin man is more flexible than stubborn. Yang man are mostly stubborn and don`t like talking much because they rather like acting.

Click to expand...

Aaaah now I understand. Yes, he very much likes talking, in fact, that's the main attraction for me - I can talk to him. Apparently all the other women think this too because he doesn't know where to turn, they are all after him lol. Not big in the modesty department While he is an action man, so to speak, he also likes to get involved in the lives of others, trying to help them fix their problems. Reminds me of my mother that way. In other ways, reminds me of my father. It's like a nice package of archetypes in one person.

Yang woman: Oh. Okay. I know this "problem" very well Because I`m a real yang machine too, lol. But I try to change at the moment because this yang overweight causes a lot of problems concerning relationships. Either I am dominant in the relationship (when I am together with a yin man) or I look for someone who is not only a Yang machine, but something like a Yang Atombomb you know? Means MORE Yang than me so that I can feel as a female, but the second one, the Yang Atombomb is normally beyond all bearing, means: The relationship is nothing but WAR. Have you made similar experiances?

Click to expand...

Are you talking about the excess of Yang or excess of Ego? Or are they the same thing?

So for the moment I try to find out for myself, what Yin is. I practise Yin, no joke. I hope it helps me to get more balanced. Maybe when I get it to be more balanced, I can hopefully find a suitable partner who is also well balanced in Yin/Yang.

About seeing the other one not as he is.....that`s why it is better to WAIT. After a while your inner "eye" becomes clear, you know? Do you remember about my 44 seduction I talked about a while ago? The contact started this year in January. Since 10 months I have got the chance to start something with him but I didn`t. I waited until my inner eye is clear again (not confused by feelings) and what shall I say: Now that I have got my feelings under control it is possible to see him like he is and I`m definitely NOT interested, so I`m free

Took me approximatly 8 months for to find out *aaaargh*. It is not that Yi didn`t tell me (that was the reason for being reserved) it was just I couldn`t SEE it clear, because I didn`t know enough about him and because some feelings confused me.

People often start relationships too fast, you know? A couple of weeks or 3 or 4 months are not enough time for to find out (really) who he or she is and if it would really suit. Feelings are confusing your mind, wishes makes you see him/her as the partner of your dreams and so on. The solution is: Wait until the madness ends, until you are clear in mind again and then look at the other.

I wish you all the best Yvonne

Click to expand...

I am glad you didn't let yourself get caught in the wrong relationship. I think the one's where you get the sense that "maybe it could almost work" are the worst, because they really aren't the right ones but are so tempting in the absence of the "this is definitely it, the one" ones.

I wish you all the very best too and again much thanks for your conversation

precision grace said:

Aaaah now I understand. Yes, he very much likes talking, in fact, that's the main attraction for me - I can talk to him. Apparently all the other women think this too because he doesn't know where to turn, they are all after him lol. Not big in the modesty department While he is an action man, so to speak, he also likes to get involved in the lives of others, trying to help them fix their problems. Reminds me of my mother that way. In other ways, reminds me of my father. It's like a nice package of archetypes in one person.

Click to expand...

Sounds like a very nice man, what a pity Yi tells you to let him pass. Just wait and get to know him better. Sometimes Yi is changing his/it`s mind

precision grace said:

Are you talking about the excess of Yang or excess of Ego? Or are they the same thing?

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Lol, that`s great. At least if you mean the Yang Atombomb Man,haha. I`m just too much Yang for a women (so no excess of Yang at my side, only untypical). If I would be a man everything would be great. So if I want a MAN I need one with more Yang than me and that is the excess of the Yang. Of the ego too because this kind of man needs to have always the last word, needs to rule everything, is stubborn and one can`t talk with him, because his opinion is the allmighty, allknowing truth, you know? Very exhausting having a relationship with someone like that. I`m really sick of it.

Yin man = much better, but I`m also sick of being the boss in a relationship. I`m either the boss or the underdog, that`s from what I can choose from, fine. I wish something balanced for my relationship, a give and take.

So what to do??? I need to change there is no other way. If I`m in balance I can find a balanced partner. That`s the plan at least So for me loneliness will go on for a while, but I don`t care, because I´m rather alone than in a stressful or in a dissatisfying relationship.

precision grace said:

I am glad you didn't let yourself get caught in the wrong relationship.

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Me too

precision grace said:

I think the one's where you get the sense that "maybe it could almost work" are the worst, because they really aren't the right ones but are so tempting in the absence of the "this is definitely it, the one" ones.

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My recent 44. seduction is simply a sex bomb, lol. The Yang of the Yang you know?? Would have been great fun in the sheets, but in daily life I guess we would kill each other, no I´m SURE we would. He is the absolutly opposite of me, but so extremly opposite that it never can work. So there is much attraction (opposites attract ;-)), but by asking my head (and soul) too, I really can`t get into a relationship with this one. That would be pure disaster, really.

precision grace said:

I wish you all the very best too and again much thanks for your conversation

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I enjoyed each minute of our nice "smalltalk" Keep me updated please

Today I asked what is the relevance of this person in my life right now and received 6.2.5 > 35

I am wondering how this applies to my situation, given that I am trying to go with the flow but am constantly hindered by this need to know which direction the flow is flowing in

6.2 - I feel unable to contend therefore I should hide myself
6.5 - Contending with great fortune - at a loss how to apply this to my situation except to relate it to this constant feeling of being drawn to this guy because of some vague notion that an unknown something would be awesome (35) between us if we got close enough.

So I guess this hex again echoes my own feelings, rather than giving me an actual objective assessment of the situation? unless my feelings and the objective situation are one and the same? In which case - is the difference between 6.2 and 6.5 simply one of waiting or what?

Hi precision grace:
Actually I had hexagram 6. VERY often, when struggled with myself. So: Yes, I guess your intuition is right here. I know you are not a FAN of my "derivated" hexagrams but there is to see how it comes to 35.

6.2.5 > 12.5 > 35.

Seems that some movement is going on into you.

6.2: Could be waiting, and doing nothing, yes.
6.5: Is talking to someone who can help you to clear the inner conflict.
12.5: "Standstill is giving way" which leads to progress > 35.

So I guess talking to someone who can help you to clear the inner conflict is the main advice here. Apart from that I haven`t got another idea of the meaning if the hexagrams actually doesn`t show outer circumstances.

Best wishes Yvonne

Thought it was time for progress report. Well things have become very frosty in the last 2-3 weeks, no fault of mine, actually I feel like the wronged party, don't quite know where this person gets off, to be honest, but anyway..
I asked today why he has become so difficult and got 51.1.4 > 2 Well that was no help so I asked for clarification on 51 and got 16.3.5 > 31. Well clearly something about me shocked him into being a d***head. Whatever. I asked what I should do about this guy and got 8. I do really want to be friends, but don't understand why I have to be doing all the work and really, why should I bother when he clearly doesn't care? Pah. Men are so annoying.

Yo Grace, how ya doin' sista??

Sounds to me like this guy is experiencing either romantic feelings or something a bit deeper and he is not that comfortable with how is it making him feel.
He is trying to keep the feelings in check but it's not quite working that well and of course he is taking it out on you because you are the one that has caused it. If he is clear in his thinking he will understand it is not you but the relationship you share that is causing this to happen.

be joyous - Liss